Tag Archives: sex advice

8 Reasons NOT To Get It On

As I’m sure you’re well aware, there are many good reasons to have sex. In fact, sometimes you don’t need any reason at all—other than, say, loving your partner.

However, sometimes a lady finds herself doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons. That’s what we’re here to cover. So if you find yourself in any of the following situations, please extricate yourself as quickly as possible:

Revenge: The most popular very-wrong reason to have sex, revenge sex never ends well. Hooking up with his best friend because you’re angry at your boyfriend will get you nowhere.

I’m not knocking or talking about the sex professionals out there—this is for the amateurs among us. Just because he bought you a lobster doesn’t mean you need to give up dessert. Catch my drift?

Ego Gratification: You must be fine if that scorching hot bartender took you home. Or not. Men have been known to do some unsavory things for physical gratification—surely you’ve heard the recent story of the guy who tried to fornicate with a park bench? The fact that he’s willing and able doesn’t say squat about your appeal.

Appliance Envy: Your roommate “doesn’t believe” in air conditioning. You can’t afford premium cable and are addicted to “Weeds.” You’re desperate to try out Wii Fit. All of these desires are perfectly rational. However, they are absolutely not worth the price of waking up next to someone you otherwise cannot stand. (Well, except for the AC, but that’s only if it’s above 100 F.)

Weight Loss: Yes, you may have read those women’s magazine articles about how being physically intimate can help you shed pounds. However, a 120-pound woman burns only 57 calories during 15 minutes of sex. That’s less than half a Hostess Ho-Ho. The sweat could do nice things for your skin, but your waist will remain the same size.

Clarity: Ever since you were nine years old and saw that topless Kate Moss Calvin Klein ad, you’ve had a hunch you were same-sex oriented. Unfortunately, the thought of sharing this with anyone scares you, so you get yourself a boyfriend. But you can’t stop thinking about that ad….

Mercy: Empathy for a sad soul is one thing; holding an intimate pity party is quite another. Oh, and you know that saying, “no good deed goes unpunished?” It goes triple in this instance. Misery loves company—good luck getting him out of your apartment.

Quid Pro Quo:

I’m not knocking or talking about the sex professionals out there—this is for the amateurs among us. Just because he bought you a lobster doesn’t mean you need to give up dessert. Catch my drift?

Fame By Association: He’s famous, you want to be. Contrary to what you might’ve surmised from that old Pamela Des Barres book, “I’m With The Band: Confessions Of A Groupie,” fame is not transmissible through intimate contact. However, lots of other things are, so watch out.

Dear Wendy: Guy Wants His Girlfriend To Get A Landing Strip

Wendy is stuck at jury duty this week and will hopefully—knock on wood!—be back tomorrow or Thursday next week. Until then, here’s one of her best Dear Wendy columns.

I’ve recently started dating a super smart, weird, quirky, cute, funny and beautiful girl. I never like anyone, but I like her. There’s one minor (hairy) issue. She doesn’t keep things very trimmed down there. Now, before you get angry, let me preface this by saying that I really don’t need a Brazilian on my girl (or even anything really from the South American continent, for that matter)– just a nice landing strip. Is that too much to ask for? Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, so I do keep my things regularly trimmed. We’ve only been dating for a month or so, but we’ve spent a lot of time together (it’s a long distance thing, so we’ve basically spent the past few weekends totally together = relationship time warp), so I feel as if this isn’t jumping the gun or anything to think about long term personal grooming habits. am I being a superficial douche? Isn’t it fair to ask for some quid pro quo trimming? I think yes. If you agree, my ultimate question is: how do I broach the trimming subject with my long distance girl? What strategies do you have? — Hair Hater

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Is Your Sex Life Boring? Find Out How To Spice It Up

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, the passion can ebb for the simple reason that you both know exactly what’s coming. It could be the best and dirtiest sex anyone has ever had, but it doesn’t matter: it’s the same as it was last time. It doesn’t mean you care any less about your partner, or find them any less sexually attractive, it just means you need to break the spell of sameness, and break out of your stale sex routine. Read more Keep reading »

How To Get It On With An Uncircumcised Dude

Back in the day, as single girls, my roommate and I were kind of obsessed with uncircumcised guys. Not that we had encountered any, but we just wondered what the hell we would actually do if, say, we met a fine young fellow who wasn’t cut and how we would handle the “situation.” (Ah youth, so innocent! So naive!) Countless Google queries didn’t begin to deliver any concrete answers. Eventually, I started dating a British guy, and was faced with the “situation” first hand. Here is what I discovered. Keep reading »

20 Things To Never Say To A Woman In Bed

Personally, I’m a girl who likes a man to make a little — OK, a lot — of noise in bed and I’m known for being a bit, um, vocal myself. But while it’s easy to say all the right things (her name, any variation on “this is the best sex ever!”), there are also some utterances that will bring the bed-rockin’ action to a serious halt. Here are just 20 things to never, ever, ever say to a woman in bed. Keep reading »

20 Things We Could Never Do, In Bed

Bad Sex Slang
These 17 terms won't get you laid. Read More »
Unimportant Sex Facts
15 things you don't really need to know! Read More »
Want To Try Spanking?
Doin' It With Dr. V explains how to spank and be spanked! Read More »

If you’ve read our writing about relationships and sexy times, you can just imagine how spicy we Frisky bloggers’ single lives have been. Certainly, we have heard it all and seen it all. But baby — especially after those crazy Wikipedia sex moves — it’s clear; we still haven’t done it all. And we’re OK with that. While we hopefully won’t be on the meat market forever, we have decided there are some things we’ve got to cut from our sexual menu. Maybe we’re getting old and set in our ways, but we know what we like between the sheets. Of course, our motto is do it ‘til your satisfied, no judgment on what gets you there. But we just can’t bring ourselves to do some things. Even we internet tramps have our limits, apparently. Keep reading »

The Dog In The Bathtub? 10 Crazy Sex Moves

Last night, while I was catching up on “United States Of Tara,” I learned that no matter how much of a Frisky gal I am, there are still some sexy things I don’t know. There was a running joke on the last episode, started by high schoolers, about doin’ it like dogs in a bathtub. WTF is that, you wonder? It’s not nearly as innocent as this adorable poodle. I looked it up on Wikipedia and I found the answer in a whole list of naughty things. OK, just like on the TV show, most of these were clearly from teenage boys—9 out of 10 are about the booty hole or poop. And, unfortch, some are pretty offensive, especially the ones with pictures. Lucky for you, my beloved pervs, I weeded the “good” ones out of the lot! Wikipedia has made this ho bag feel like a virgin … and I’m kinda OK with that. Here are 10 crazy suggestions from Wiki’s “List Of Sex Moves.”
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A Sex Toy Store For Muslims Only

Frankly, I don’t know if there are sex toy — er, “marital aid” — stores out there just for Christians or just for the Jewish, but there is one just for Muslims. The Amsterdam-based business is called El Asira, and it was created by Abdelaziz Aouragh, a 29-year-old Dutch-Moroccan orthodox Muslim who, one imagines, looked into the future and decided the world’s “first halal sex shop” promised to be the next big thing. According to Aouragh, who opened the store late last month, the outlet has been sanctioned by fatwa thanks to a Saudi sheik, so long as the products — lube, condoms, sexual stimulants — are used within the context of marriage and are animal fat-free. In the spirit of discretion, the site features no provocative pictures of hot-and-bothered men and women or racy language, and they don’t sell anything battery-operated. And Aouragh claims part of his mission is transforming the image of Muslim women. “The image of women in the kitchen, submissive, dressed in a burkah isn’t true,” he says. “Our shop puts the woman at the centre of things.” Sadly, the site is temporary offline. Observant Muslims will have to wait a little longer for their Islamic sex shop. [True/Slant] Keep reading »

The Big Lebowski Gets The XXX Treatment

Do you love “The Big Lebowski”? Would you love to love “The Big Lebowski”? Well, then you’re in luck, because New Sensations has just released a XXX porn parody this past weekend at the Big Lebowski Fest in L.A. From the looks of the trailer, Jesus really loves his ball, the Tara Reid-esque character is even sluttier, and Tom Byron really puts the Big in Lebowski. Hotness! And the Dude isn’t the only one abiding a porn remake. This year, the studio plans on releasing a slew of spoofs, with pornographic takes on “Harry Potter,” “The Breakfast Club,” “24,” “The A-Team,” “This Is Spinal Tap,” “Buffy The Vampire Slayer,” “Lost,” and, gulp, “The Golden Girls.” I’m afraid I just can’t get behind that last one — leave Dorothy and the gang alone! Keep reading »

What’s The Best Lubricant?

I once asked a sex shop proprietress for the best sex advice she could give to couples and she immediately waxed poetic about lube. Her arguments were so compelling, it made me wonder how anyone ever has sex without some lubricant at their bedside.

Venturing into yet another sex shop, Babeland, I then drilled the store clerk about the best lubes — for any bedroom. She sent me home with some advice and three of the best lubes in Babeland. Read more Keep reading »

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