Tag Archives: safe sex

Whiskey-Flavored Condoms Make Whiskey Dick Literal

How many times have I complained that my boyfriend’s enthusiasm for my BJ talent has been cutting into my drinking schedule? I lost count. Luckily, my problem could be solved with these new whiskey-flavored condoms from the genius company McCondom. But, you see, I’m picky: Which kind of scotch do these flavored condoms taste like? Because the deep smoky quality of Laphroaig would be a bad match with the antiseptic flavor of latex, don’t ya think? The spicy opening note of Bewenie might make a nice pairing, but imagine the cost of that condom. Anyway, order these babies here—they’re about $5 a pair. They would go great in the gift bags at your bestie’s bachelorette party. The perfect nightcap, if you ask me. [BuzzFeed]
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Just Say No To These Novelty Condoms

I suppose that since these condoms are called “novelty” condoms, they’re not suitable for human use, yet they still frighten me. The mere thought of utilizing any of the rubber numbers from the Willy Attire collection causes me to shudder in horror. From the beer stein to the banana, the cow to the devil, the elephant to the zebra, these johnson raincoats are not something most women want anywhere near their hoo-has. One supposes it would be amusing to see a guy tromping around in nothing but the gas mask jimmy, but, for God’s sake, don’t try to do anything with a willy if it’s wearing one of these, ladies. [Willy Attire via Gorilla Mask] Keep reading »

Are Women Too Insecure To Have Sober Sex?

The Daily Mail released another one of their sensational studies yesterday. This time the researchers cast their glare to women, drinking and their ability (or lack thereof) to have sex sober. “One in 20 women has NEVER had sex sober as they lack body confidence” screams the headline. Keep reading »

Recession Blues Hit The Sex Doll Business

By now, you’ve probably heard of RealDolls. They’re those lifelike, anatomically correct silicone sex dolls that costs thousands of dollars. They’ve appeared in movies (“Lars and the Real Girl”), on TV (Howard Stern, natch), and in books (Still Lovers). These days, though, it seems the love doll industry is taking a hit. In these tough economic times, not every guy who longs for a synthetic lover with a fully articulated internal armature has the means to buy one. Sniff. The man who dreamed of spending $6,499 on a life partner with a choice of vagina attachments may be S.O.L. Thankfully, the folks at RealDoll.com are offering some unique deals. “Order a RealDoll, RealDoll2 or Male RealDoll2 and get a FREE FACE!!” the website advertises. “Order a Female Flat Back Torso get the Head Kit FREE!” You know, this 21st century depression might not be such a bad thing if it means free faces and head kits for lonely guys looking for women with removable visages. Keep reading »

Condom Ads Suggest You Rub One Out

This is another one of those ads that I just can’t figure out. It’s for condoms, apparently. Or a condom shop? I’m confused. And there’s something in there about rubbing one out, from what I gather. I Believe in Advertising‘s explanation doesn’t exactly help either: “Metaphor of the condoms like rubber gum and his utilization ‘to erase’ evidences.” HUH? WHAT? Totally confused. Maybe, if you use condoms, there will be no traces of … something … bad? I don’t know! Practice safe sex. That’s all I can figure out. Maybe one of you can explain it to me? [I Believe in Advertising] Keep reading »

Alabama Not Such a Sweet Home For The Sex Toy Industry

In a supreme stroke of moronic-ness, this Friday Alabama’s Supreme Court upheld a 1998 ban on selling sex toys on Friday. It’s still perfectly legal to go Down South on yourself in private, thank God. But Alabama’s highest court said the legislature is allowed to ban the sale of sex tales in public, meaning it’s a crime to sell someone a vibrator or a paddle! A sex shop in Hoover, AL, called Love Stuff challenged the ban on the grounds it violated a horny person’s right to sexual privacy, yet the heat-addled judicial brains in Alabama upheld the ban as matter of public morality. Sorry, but the only thing morally wrong with this is making the good folks of Alabama wait 3-5 business days for a vibe to come in the mail. [The Birmingham News] Keep reading »

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