When it comes to awkward conversations with the new guy you’re dating, the STD/birth control chat takes the cake. It’s the necessary talk that neither of you want to have, not to mention, there’s that whole timing issue. You don’t want to get into it right off the bat (although Milton, 35, disagrees) and there’s no quicker way to kill the mood than to bring it up while things are getting hot and heavy.
To help us navigate this tricky talk, we asked 7 guys to dish on when and how to bring things up with your new boo—because, well, they would know! Read on to see what they had to say about the do’s and don’ts of having “the talk.” Read more on YourTango.com…
The NYPD has finally agreed to ban the confiscation condoms as evidence from people they suspect of being sex workers. With similar measures having been fought for and won in San Francisco and Washington, D.C., this seems like a win for sexual health, right?
Well, sort of. The headlines I keep seeing aren’t actually accurate: “NYPD to stop seizing sex work suspects’ condoms,” “NYPD To Stop Seizing Condoms From Suspects As Evidence Of Prostitution,” etc. This sort of shoddy reporting might mean that the public thinks that condoms as evidence is an issue over and done with, when in fact there is more to do. The policy announced by NYPD Commissioner Bratton bars confiscation of condoms as arrest evidence in prostitution, prostitution in a school zone, and loitering for the purposes of prostitution cases, which is a great start. But it’s not as overarching as the mainstream media seems to think it is. Keep reading »
For an advertisement meant to promote safe sex — arguably one of the greatest ways a person can pass time on a random Monday night — you’ve got to admit condom commercials are usually pretty stale. You can count on no hands the number of times you actually sort-of see folks doing the deed while we imagine they’re wearing whatever condom is being promoted, and it sometimes seems like the company does everything it can to avoid even mentioning the S-word.
Leave it to a bunch of sexy, easygoing Australians to make the absolute best condom commercial you’ll see — and then blame another group of Aussie partypoopers for banning it. Boooo! Watch the banned commercial on The Stir…
The first time I bought a pregnancy test I was 17. I’d gotten my period but was so new at the whole sex thing, not to mention paranoid, that I wanted to be sure. We hadn’t used condoms, but instead a small, see-through film that hardly seemed like it was going to do its job. I used it anyway because I was 17, and he was hot, not to mention 31, so I figured he knew what he was talking about. I wasn’t pregnant, but taking that test set the tone for every other pregnancy test I’ve taken, including one last weekend.
The biggest difference for me between taking a pregnancy test at 17 and 36 wasn’t so much the technology as the fact that I’m in a vastly different place than I was then. I know more about sex, relationships and myself, and while at 17, I was pretty sure I would get an abortion if a test were positive, now I’m almost certain I wouldn’t. I was scared, but not as scared as I’d been at 17. Another difference is that at the moment, I don’t have health insurance—bad, I know, and after this scare I’m joining the Freelancer’s Union and getting health insurance ASAP. Keep reading »
This piece by Jessie Lochrie was originally published on xoJane.com.
I can count the number of times I’ve had sex without condoms on one hand. This isn’t to brag about how I’m some model of safe sex — it’s because with the exception of a brief, two-week period, I have never been on birth control.
I’m not sure if I ever really made an active decision not to go on birth control. When I lost my virginity to my long-term high school boyfriend, we used those lubricated Trojans in the turquoise pack that so many people seem to use as My Very First Condom.
My reluctance to go on the Pill did partially stem from a teenager’s nervousness about telling my parents I was sexually active, though I always could have gone to Planned Parenthood (or my family doctor) and gone on birth control without them knowing. The real reason I avoided birth control was a gut feeling that I wouldn’t respond well to hormones. Keep reading »
It doesn’t matter how charming he is. It doesn’t matter how sexy he is. Your health is still the number one priority. If you are prepared when he bats his eyelashes and runs his very sexy hand up your thigh, you will stay in control of both your safety and your pleasure. Here are the top five excuses men use to attempt to wiggle out of wearing a condom and the responses you need to stay safe.
Excuse #1: Birth control is the woman’s responsibility. Sadly this is not a new argument. Ancient Egyptian, Greek and Roman cultures all thought the same thing, and that is why you won’t see many references to condoms in their ancient literature. In fact, the only references to “male birth control” you may find in their writings refer only to “coitus interruptus”—that’s the “pull-out” method, by the way —and anal sex. Puh-lease! Read more…