Last week, our new dude dating columnist Dater XY wrote a provocative piece about how his best friend is a woman and some ladies he meets online dating can’t handle that. With a few exceptions, commenters on that piece agreed Dater XY is shit outta luck. “I don’t see a way out of this. I think that pretty much every girl, no matter how secure she is, will have in the back of her mind, ‘I wonder what they’re REALLY doing,’” wrote one commenter. ”It’s a red flag,” added another.
Well, that hasn’t been my experience at all. My husband’s two best friends are women and he sees both ladies several nights a week. Their friendships are not suspicious to me at all. In fact, I think it’s great. Keep reading »
Dudes the world over (I feel like until people stop saying “but I’m not like that!” I have to keep amending statements like this by saying OK GUYS #NOTALLMEN, WE GET IT, MOVING ON) claim that no, they’re not harassing women, they’re just flirting! Can’t they flirt? Is flirting illegal now? Why can’t we flirt anymore? FEMINAZIS, AMIRITE?
Yes, guys, you can flirt. But you might want to consider the fact that some women feel actively threatened by what you call “flirting” constructive feedback and improve your technique so that when you’re expressing romantic or possibly sexual interest in someone, you don’t end up making them feel hounded, harassed and/or worried for their safety.
Here’s some tips for not being predatory while you’re flirting. Keep reading »
Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email email@example.com with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.
First up, how to say “no” to babysitting: Keep reading »
“Men Are From Mars, Women Are Venus,” which implies men’s and women’s brains are hardwired differently, has pit people against each other for decades — some see at as sexist drivel while others see at as a groundbreaking truth. Gina Rippon, a neuroscientist and “gender difference denier” (yes, people actually call her this) who will speak at the upcoming British Science Festival this weekend, believes books like that one cause those gender differences in the first place. According to her, the only differences between our brains can be attributed to our minds adapting to gender stereotypes and taking them on as truth. Keep reading »
Most recent grads can agree that no matter how prepared we try to be, the world is pretty tough to make sense of after leaving the cozy confines of campus. When best friends Jessica Pan and Rachel Kapelke-Dale graduated from Brown University, they had no idea what to expect from post-college life, and on their last night on campus before setting off for opposite sides of the world, the two made a pact to send each other honest weekly accounts of whatever adventures came next. Their emails zigzagged between New York, Paris, Beijing and Melbourne as Jess and Rachel faced the thrill and confusion of life in the “real world.” Among the ups and downs of new jobs, relationships and time zones, the one thing that remained consistent was their weekly letters.
Now, the two have compiled those letters into Graduates In Wonderland, an addictive and wildly relatable memoir of the roller coaster that is life in your early twenties. From the very first page, it was hard not to wonder whether Jess and Rachel had taken a peak inside my own mind. In between their fast-paced adventures and mishaps, they share quiet doubts and questions with the kind of honesty that only exists between close friends. Not only does this book serve as a reminder that none of us are alone in feeling lost every now and then, it’s also a gentle nudge to stop what you’re doing and give your best friend a call. Jess and Rachel spoke with me about some of their thoughts on living abroad, youthful idealism, true love, and the importance of quality friendships.
Keep reading »
Among the many, many ladies who make wedding boards on Pinterest, a pretty epic percentage of them don’t have a fiance (or even a significant other). That seems to be common knowledge for Pinterest users — some single pinners could care less about what people think of the cutesy board of place settings they put together in between spreadsheets at the office. Others are more a fan of what can only be called a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy and expect that nobody on the interwebs acknowledge their not-so-engaged status because despite the lack of a wedding on the horizon they happen to enjoy looking at the design aspects of reception decor, thank you very much. Instead, Pinterest awkwardly sent a bunch of single women emails congratulating them on their engagement. Weirder still is that while some of the email recipients have pinned things like invitations or dresses, many of them have never pinned any wedding-related content. Ugh, interwebs, please do not use womankind’s collective inbox as yet another place to nag us about marriage. I don’t know about the rest of you, but my Facebook newsfeed and annual interrogations about my personal life at Thanksgiving dinner do that job all on their own. Keep reading »