A tale as old as time. A so-called overprotective father writes an extreme list of demands for dating his (currently only 2-year-old) daughter, and it goes viral. Retired Navy SEAL Marcus Luttrell took to his public Facebook page to rant about all the things he’ll do to any potential suitor that may take a liking to his little girl. Among the challenges Luttrell would pose to any future Romeo:
- Make him contact all the toughest dads that he knows — MMA fighters, boxers, police officers, firefighters and police guards – to get their blessing to date his daughter.
- Make him meet Luttrell’s teammates to get their blessing, while being introduced to their armory (aka scare the shit out of some kid with a bunch of guns). Keep reading »
Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.
This week, we’ve got a competitive, copycatting best friend and a overly chatty coworker to contend with… Keep reading »
They come few and far between but we all have them. You know, those first dates that make you think, Wow, is this the one? I had one of these dates last Tuesday with The Lawyer.
We met at my favorite watering hole and jazz club for drinks. We arrived at exactly the same time, an obvious omen of good things to come. Continuing on the good omen train, while looking over the wine menu, we found out that Malbecs are our favorite type of wine. Keep reading »
Unfortunately, I’m becoming a professional at going on great dates that have awful endings. There was my first date with Scar Twin, which went off without a hitch until I fell down a flight of stairs; my first (and last) date with Jack, who wrapped up our evening by insinuating that I’m a slut; and most recently, my great — and also tragic — date with my old college friend Baby Face. Confirmed: Tears do not taste good in dirty martinis. Keep reading »
Facebook is overrun with pictures of baby bumps or “side belly cleavage,” as I like to call it, originating with women announcing their journey from TTC (trying to conceive) to TWW (two-week window after ovulation) to Chosen Ones With Tiny John McCains in Their Bellies. As friends, we’re overjoyed when we see these in our feed, obviously, because we’re all going to get free baby lessons once our friends duplicate (this is the correct terminology, right?).
There is a contingent of people who find the public baby bump pics, ultrasound avatars, or photographs of loaf of bread in the oven a little smug. But my key objection is the sheer lack of originality. Your ovaries spit out an egg that caught the flying shuttlecock of your mate mid-Fallopian tube — that is some world-class tennis you’re playing, lady! Your prowess in implanting a fertilized embryo deserves something a little more personalized.
If you’ve received the lucky news that you’re adding an initial to your Pottery Barn towels, tell your friends and family one of these fun ways: Keep reading »
Consider the open relationship. Maybe you’ve always felt constrained by a traditional relationship, and known that you could happily be with more than one person. Maybe your partner brings it up to you one night over tacos and margaritas, and you’re game. Or, maybe this is just something that you’ve wanted to try, to see if it’s something you could really succeed at. Most people go into open relationships not because they want to bone every person out there that catches their eye, but because the concept of monogamy is one that for many, feels decidedly foreign. It is kind of strange to think that we’re expected to stay with just the one person for a sustained period of time, and an open relationship can help expand boundaries. If you’re considering an open relationship, keep in mind that, if done correctly, they can be a blast. If handled poorly, like most things in life, they will blow up in your face. Here are some tips on how to navigate this new terrain. Keep reading »