People in their twenties are full of life and promise, and that’s a great thing. But they are also full of some lousy ideas about love. So let’s take a moment to educate ourselves on the things we need to know, and the misconceptions we need to drop, ASAP. Here’s what Gen Y needs to know about love on Your Tango…
I believe that traveling is always a good experience (even a terrible vacation will give you stories to tell for years to come), but who you choose to travel with will make a big difference in what kind of experience you have. A cross-country road trip with your three best friends will be very different than a cross-country road trip with your dad, for example. And that dream trip to the Great Wall of China? Should you go it alone or take your boyfriend along? Click through to find out the pros and cons of different travel partners, and please share your own travel partner preferences in the comments!
Sometime last week, I read a short little gossip item about how Adam Levine is apparently apologizing to all of his exes for his past behavior in advance of his upcoming wedding to Behati Prinsloo. I didn’t think much of it, because who really cares about Adam Levine outside of his adorably homoerotic relationship with fellow “Voice” judge Blake Shelton? But then I saw a teaser for a segment on a morning news show about how apologizing to your exes is a “trend” or something, so I did some Googling to see what Adam hath wrought. And lo and behold, according to The New York Post, NYMag.com and Fox News NY, going on an “ex apology tour” is a THING now. I’m not sure how I feel. Keep reading »
I got married very quickly: we had only been dating for five months. I didn’t doubt that I’d found the man I wanted to spend my life with, but I did feel confused in the weeks and months after we’d gotten hitched what marriage was supposed to mean and if so, how should we make it work? We knew why we got married romantically and we knew why we got married legally — but was that all there was to it? In an upcoming HBO documentary airing on Monday, June 30th, a documentary filmmaker who pays his bills by doing wedding videography, seeks to explain the secrets of wedded bliss. In “112 Weddings,” Doug Block went back and interviewed former clients whose weddings he filmed to check in on how matrimony turned out. Some explain how they’ve kept a relationship alive all this time; others explain how their nuptials lead to divorce. Sounds like a film to watch with the husband, yes?
I started dating immediately after I told my now-ex that I wanted to get a divorce. This was because, as one of my friends very aptly put it, I wasn’t really “rebounding” so much as just “bounding” — rebounding assumes that you’re bouncing off of something, and I wanted a divorce because my marriage no longer qualified as a relationship. A relationship is the state in which two things or people are connected to each other; we were not that so much as one person making loud proclamations about what the other should be and the other, by the end, just going “NO” (and this is a generous description of a very unhealthy situation). I was definitely bounding out of and away from that, and gleefully. Keep reading »
It has become abundantly clear to me over the past couple of months that people don’t know much about sponsoring someone for immigration. That makes sense, of course, because the majority of us will never do it. But insofar as people do know about the process, they know it involves getting a green card and having “an interview” with immigration officials. While true, but the interview and green card (hopefully) don’t come until the very end of an expensive, months-long process.
As I’ve explained before, sponsoring my husband, Kale, involved filling out a lot of paperwork. He had to do things like get a checkup and we had to gather documentation proving we like together, like bills and a bank account we both are listed on. We also submitted pics — most of them culled from my at-times cringeworthy Instagram account — of ourselves together since we started dating and from our wedding day. We also had to write affidavits about each other explaining why we wanted to be together and our best friends wrote affidavits for us, too. It wasn’t hard work, but it was a lot to get done, especially for two people who are otherwise occupied being schmoopy newlyweds. Keep reading »
Did you keep a diary as a teenager? Does the thought of reading it now make you want to cringe with embarrassment or would you jump at the change to gain some perspective on the course of your life so far?
Dr. Irving Finkel of London, a self-proclaimed diary rescuer, has it made it his personal mission to preserve, archive and exhibit as many long lost diaries as possible. By day, Finkel works at the British Museum, but in his off hours, he’s slowly amassing a museum of his own with his Great Diary Project and receives regular donations of families’ old journals. His reasoning, he says, is that:
Diaries are among our most precious items of heritage. People in all walks of life have confided and often still confide their thoughts and experiences to the written page, and the result is a unique record of what happens to an individual over months, or even years, as seen through their eyes. No other kind of document offers such a wealth of information about daily life and the ups and downs of human existence. The Project’s idea is to collect as many diaries as possible from now on for long-term preservation. In the future these diaries will be a precious indication of what life, in our own time, was really like…All human life, in fact, is there, packed into small pages where every entry – for the future historian – is accurately dated.
Keep reading »
Trophy wives may be nothing but a myth perpetuated by sexist research, according to a new study. Researcher Elizabeth Aura McClintock of Notre Dame reviewed the data from a large set of young adult heterosexual couples, looking to find out how people really choose their partners. She looked into two different reasons that drive pairing up – matching and exchange. Matching is a search for a partner who is similar in education levels, looks and other traits. Exchange is more the more “trophy wife”-style notion of a person trading their looks or status for a partner who has something they don’t.
Surprisingly, she found that in the past people have misinterpreted the evidence of exchange relationships. In examining couples, researchers only looked at the women’s appearance and the men’s status and disregarded data on women’s status or men’s attractiveness. They were so certain they’d find a specific result (in this case, proof of exchange relationships) that the studies were skewed. More problematic to the skewed data is the fact that rich people are more likely to be good-looking, and vice-versa. (The reasons for that correlation open a whole other can of worms about whether being pretty makes it easier to get rich in the first place, but that’s another post for another day). Keep reading »
The first week after a breakup is always the most difficult. The rejection is fresh and the sting still burns, which makes it that much harder to remind yourself that the relationship is over, and that, despite how it feels at the time, things will get better. Those first few days are also crucial in determining how you’ll handle the rest of the breakup. The decision to end things takes only a moment, but coping with that loss can take days, months, or even years. And in my opinion, the tone of that “healing period” is set early on. Will you continue to communicate, cut each other off cold turkey, or decide to have casual sex until he realizes he wants you and only you? After my breakup with Andrew, I chose my path, and thankfully, it resulted in clarity.
When Andrew blindsided me with the truth bomb that he wasn’t ready for a girlfriend, I knew I’d be incapable of carrying on any kind of communication or relationship with him without developing muddled feelings. We both agreed it was best to sever ties. About a week later, I went out with friends for drinks, headed back home alone and found myself aching to text him. Keep reading »
Two years ago, I met my husband at a Foreigner concert. So far, being married has been amazing … except I have to remind myself to call him my “fiancé.”
Officially, our wedding isn’t until Halloween. See, my husband is an independent contractor and has a physical job, so he needs full coverage due to his high risk of injury. My job provides excellent insurance. Even though the Affordable Care Act dramatically cut his out of pocket costs, we could save another five grand with him on my insurance. It was a no brainer decision – we were getting married, anyway, so we might as well save some money and make it legal sooner.
So, I will experience both eloping and having a big wedding. Now that I’m in the thick of planning the big wedding part, I can see why people intentionally elope. We are too far along in wedding mode to turn back now, but I would definitely say from my experience I would have reconsidered five months ago.
From my experience, here’s what I have discovered about the best of both options: Keep reading »