Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Mommie Dearest: On Lena Dunham & Teaching Children About Boundaries And Consent

Mommie Dearest: On Lena Dunham & Teaching Children About Boundaries And Consent

This post isn’t about Lena Dunham… really. So many others, including The Frisky’s own Amelia, have written about Dunham, her book, and the passages about her sister that have led to claims of molestation. But, I’m writing this because of the conversation that’s currently being had about Lena Dunham, so we can’t not talk about her.

The basics: Lena Dunham wrote a memoir and included bits about her relationship with her younger sister, Grace. Like the time Lena was seven and peered in one-year-old Grace’s vagina. Or the other time when Grace was older and Lena would give her sister candy in exchange for kisses. And then there was the story where Lena encountered masturbating in bed at 17, alongside her sleeping sister. Those bits got a few sites screaming “child molestation!” in Lena’s direction and the entire Internet has since blown up on both sides of it. But is it so crystal clear or black and white? When it comes to kids, sex, and sexuality can’t it be a whole bunch of fuzzy grey? Keep reading »

Life After Dating: Writing While Coupled

Over the weekend, my boyfriend Michael visited his mom and his sister, who was home from school for the weekend, out in the burbs. He told them he was going to propose to me soon, and his sister said she already knew that because she reads my work. Whoops! I’m so glad I don’t talk much about our sex life here.

The reality of working as a writer, and specifically as a woman writer, while in a relationship comes with a few problems. I can’t say anything too specific about Michael, and I’m glad he has such a common first name, because it makes him hard to identify. Part of that gladness stems from the fact that there are nutso predators on the Internet who might take issue with what I have to say and decide to make my life worse by making life worse for the people I love. The other part of it is that I am an unconventional woman with strong, non-mainstream opinions, and I don’t want them to be attached to my boyfriend’s public persona. Dating someone doesn’t mean you agree with everything they say or believe, after all. My job in terms of his career is to show up at the annual holiday party and be charming. His bosses don’t need to know anything else about me lest they start believing that because I’m unconventional, Michael is also less conventional than they’ve been led to believe (he is less conventional than he comes off, but not in the leftist/feminist/sex positive/gender nonconformist/takes clothes off on the Internet sort of way). Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How Dressing “Ugly” Helped Me Through A Breakup

Girl Talk: How Dressing "Ugly" Helped Me Get Over A Breakup

For a period of time after I broke up with the man I’d been dating for four years, all I wore was black. I mourned the relationship by donning a widow’s wardrobe. Shapeless t-shirts, a wool sweater with a stretched out collar, an old pair of ballet slippers. I couldn’t imagine any other combination, besides black on top of more black.

I dressed like this for six months. Then one day, out of nowhere it seemed, an unexpected sartorial shift occurred: I reached for color again, but now, I suddenly wanted to put together outfits that can only be described as, well, “ugly.” Keep reading »

7 Proven Ways Facebook Is A Relationship Killer

7 Proven Ways Facebook Is A Relationship Killer

Infidelity comes in many different shapes and sizes. There is the most obvious kind where someone is sneaking around and physically having an affair with someone other than his or her partner. Then there is the emotional kind where you are turning to someone other than your partner to vent about your martial problems, to flirt, and contact them at any hour.

But now there is a new type of affair that is surely to be more common than you might think thanks to social media, and it’s called digital infidelity. It’s much like emotional infidelity except it’s all happening through social media. Read more on YourTango.com…

Make It Stop: “My Co-Worker Keeps Stealing My Ideas!”

Make It Stop: "My Co-Worker Keeps Stealing My Ideas!"

In the last few months, I’ve noticed a coworker passing off my ideas as her own. (We work on advertising creative.) Sometimes the ideas came from conversations we had together, but that she then ran off and presented as just hers. Another time, I’m pretty percent sure she overheard me having a brainstorming session with another colleague, snagged one of ideas and pitched it for an entirely different project so we couldn’t use it. It’s frustrating because her tactics are underhanded and passive aggressive and difficult to prove, and I almost think she doesn’t believe she’s doing anything wrong. Any ideas about how to approach this? I’m not looking to fight, but it’s pissing me off seeing her get accolades for ideas we either came up with together or that she stole from me. Thanks!

Does she do this to other co-workers? Or do you feel singled out, like she’s snatching your brilliance as soon as the words are formed out loud? Keep reading »

The Foolproof Way To Get Out Of The Friendzone: Dress Like An Asshole

I have a theory: Esquire is on women’s side when it comes to the whole friendzone thing. Meaning, they get it. When a woman decides that she’s not romantically interested in one of her male friends, that’s kind of the bottom line. She’s drawn her boundaries in their relationship and that’s the end of the story. And that’s why they’re giving men terrible, terrible fashion advice to get out of the “friendzone.” Keep reading »

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