In my last post, I shared with you a comprehensive list of guys I’ve dated, slept with, or come in contact with over the last year, and the lessons I learned from each. Some of them were men I’d met only once or twice, and others were guys who I actually had feelings for, but looking at that list — I mean REALLY taking a hard look at the amount of men who entered my life in 2014 — is upsetting to me. On one hand, I tell myself that I put myself out there, continued to get back on the horse when love didn’t go my way and that I faced the dating world with resilience. On the other hand, I look at that list and wonder why not even one guy stuck around. Ultimately, it boils down to the fact that, in the new year, I need to be more secure with me. I need to feel confident in my decisions and know that mistakes, successes and failures are all my own. Keep reading »
I don’t like the concept of New Year’s resolutions for the obvious reasons: they make us feel terrible about ourselves, they’re unrealistic, they allow fitness/diet/beauty companies to encroach on our insecurity and suck the life out of us, and they imply that the only time you can change your life is when a new year begins. They’re way too all-or-nothing and presume that if you slip up three days into your “new life plan” you’re a huge failure who will never have a better life. No thanks. I think most of us spend enough time beating ourselves up already, so there’s no need for an annual cultural tradition dedicated to more of that. I’m all about personal improvement, on January 1 or any other day of the year, so I think it’s more the “resolution” label that bugs me than the act of setting goals itself. What I can handle instead of resolutions is the idea of setting intentions. Intentions are more abstract and have more to do with the attitude you carry with you every day than setting distinct cold-turkey goals, and even if your intention is a concrete goal, referring to it as something other than a dreaded resolution has to be better for the psyche somehow, right? I have lots of random goals for 2015, but my biggest intention is to be more emotionally honest. I’m not referring to honesty in terms of a tendency to lie to people’s faces about literal facts or dropping hurtful truthbombs in their faces, though that’s probably not an ideal life choice either – not that I’m judging! What I need more of in my life is honesty with myself and others about how I really feel about things and what I really want.
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When many people think about Darwin’s theory of evolution and survival of the fittest, they assume that the competition to pass on genes is what defines human beings, and that that competitive impulse makes us ruthless at our core. What’s forgotten in that thought process is that humans have to not only pass on our genes, but also ensure our lineage by caring for our offspring – and that care makes us compassionate, rather than ruthless, at heart. Keep reading »
In my personal opinion, photography is one of the very most important aspects of the wedding (after the actual getting married thing, of course). Flowers will wilt, candles will be extinguished, and the music will stop—but the pictures are forever. They’re one of the few lasting, tangible things you’ll have from your big day, so it’s important to find a photographer who you’re happy and comfortable with. Doing so can be a bit overwhelming, so here are some questions to aid in the process. Keep reading »
This was a year of changes, challenges and questions, and that made it full of unexpected lessons. Some realizations I had this year should probably have already been obvious to me, some I wish I’d never learned at all, and some came as a huge relief. A few of observations from 2014 that I’ll keep in mind as a new year begins… Keep reading »