I was sitting with a couple of smart women that I respect when the subject of dating came up, as it tends to do. “I read The Rules, and it changed my life,” one friend told me, in complete earnestness. “I swear by The Rules. They really work.”
I was taken aback, and for good reason. I’m a generation behind The Rules’ target demo. Twenty years ago, when this book was first published, I was in middle school, when “dating” meant writing about someone in your dream journal and holding hands. As my dating life developed, any mention of The Rules felt laughable, like an ancient relic from a never-seen “Sex And The City” episode, something the girls would discuss over cosmos at Buddakan.
“Aren’t they old-fashioned and sexist, and you know, stupid?” I asked. My other friend interjected. “Seriously, they’re great,” she said. “Trust me.” Keep reading »
It’s pretty clear from any real-life dating experience or missed meet-cute that people aren’t too great at picking up on flirtatious signals, but now science is able to prove it. The research, conducted by the University of Kansas consisted of two studies. The first study gathered 52 pairs of single, heterosexual college students who thought the study was about first impressions. The pairs would chat for 10-12 minutes. Afterward, they’d fill out questionnaires separately that asked whether they’d flirted and whether they thought their conversation partner had. Participants were over 80 percent correct in knowing when the other person was not flirting, but only 36 percent of men and 18 percent of women noticed when the other person was flirting with them. Keep reading »
The wonderful thing about a hefty amount of geek/nerd culture is that it is super-optimistic. John Green, author of A Fault In Our Stars, says that nerds are basically people who are “unironically enthusiastic … too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness.” Which is awesome!
The first time I hung out with my now-boyfriend, I totally melted over the fact that he got really, really jazzed pantomiming a stack that extended from hip-height to chin-height to illustrate how many books you can get for ten dollars at library book sales. As a little geekling, I learned to love guys like this by the examples that cartoons, TV shows, video games, movies, and books made for me of enthusiastic, caring dudes. Without further ado, my top five formative geek crushes…
On Saturday night, I learned that someone very important to me died last week. Deb Powell Simons was my therapist throughout my teen years and early 20s. I had known she had been sick many years ago; learning of her death came as a complete shock. She leaves behind a husband and four young children. She was only 44. Keep reading »
In 2011, actress and filmmaker Lina Esco went with a handful of friends to Occupy Wall Street, curious to see the response to a group of topless women.
“Within minutes there were hundreds of people taking pictures, and they didn’t know what to do with these boobs,” Esco told The Frisky. “After 10 minutes, I said to them, ‘[Our nipples are] not going anywhere, so let’s have a conversation.’ And we did. And I realized that the conversation was only getting bigger, and the nipple was this Trojan Horse that was going to reveal so many things. And I knew I had to do this film.”
The film she is referring to is called “Free The Nipple,” which addresses the societal aversion to women’s nipples. After her Occupy Wall Street experience, Esco immediately came home and started working on a script; she found herself eager to explore why women’s bodies were subject to a whole different set of rules and norms than the bodies of men. By mid-2012, she had raised enough money and started filming in New York City with Zach Grenier from “Law & Order” and “The Good Wife” and Lola Kirke, sister of “Girls” star Jemima. Despite the fact that going topless in New York is legal (as opposed to the 35 states where it is illegal for women to be topless) filming shut down by police. Keep reading »
Yesterday evening, Nick and I were trying to hang up some pictures on a blank wall in the living room, and things were getting tense.
“I think that blue frame should go about a quarter inch to the right.”
“I think it’s fine where it is.”
“But the bottom edge lines up too perfectly with that black frame, and it’s giving me an eye tic.”
“Why don’t we move the pink frame down to where the silver frame was?”
“Over my dead body.” Keep reading »
I was born with Freeman-Sheldon Syndrome, a genetic bone and muscular disorder. I had 26 surgeries by my 16th birthday, so hospital rooms and intimidating doctors’ offices quickly became the backdrop of my childhood, filling up metaphorical pages that other kids had reserved for dirt hill races and princess tea parties with their stuffed animals. Growing up, I was always a little different than my peers. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just boiled down to different life experiences that I was having. I spent a lot of time reading, but it was tough to relate to the characters’ adventures when my world often seemed confined to a small, square hospital room.
Then a little book called The Fault In Our Stars came along. Keep reading »
Cancer (June 21-July 22): A lot of emotions will be stirred up this week. Brace yourself for the rush, because you can expect 10 times more force back than you’ve put into your latest obsession. Yes, a lot of pent up surprises will explode in your face, making you have to react fast. Seems a new drama is going to emerge and it’ll be one that’ll dazzle as much as it dismays.
Best Lay Day: Saturday, June 21
Leo (July 23-August 22): Beware, your emotions may get the best of you now and it’ll be easy to manipulate your empathetic nature. While you do love to play hero, this week’s mission may be completely thankless and bruise your self-esteem more than it would elevate it. So, let go of that sad puppy that wants to attach to you now, because it won’t be cute.
Best Lay Day: Friday, June 20 Keep reading »
If it’s been six months since you broke up with your ex and he’s still texting you daily asking what you had for lunch, you might be dealing with a stage-five clinger. Maybe you’ve found yourself wondering “what if” more and more, or perhaps you even met up with him to find out (how’d that work out for you?). Hey, maybe you’ve got us all beat and you and your former beau are the best of friends. We’ve all got exes, and with them comes considerable baggage — some good, some bad. Below are some of the types you’ve probably seen come and (hopefully) go. Read more on Tres Sugar…
Sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed at the thought of how much I want to accomplish in a given day or week, or how much growing stands between me and whatever distant, self-actualized ideal I hope to someday be. On days when I wake up cranky, thinking about stuff like this creates a snowball effect and suddenly I’m frustrated and calling myself a failure because I’m not living up to some nonexistent hypothetical that nobody else even sees but me — and then I miss out on enjoying all the great stuff that’s happening right in front of me. What I forget a lot is that every second is an opportunity to make a choice that aligns with becoming a calmer, kinder person, or at least could make me feel like more of a “together” person (I’m convinced people who 100 percent have it together don’t actually exist, but that’s another story).
I think one of the biggest reasons we get stuck in personal ruts or find ourselves feeling trapped in routines we absolutely hate is because the prospect of changing our lives sounds gigantic and intimidating. In actuality, epic changes don’t happen overnight. Whether you want to rebuild a relationship, rescue your finances, change the way you treat your body, or just improve your attitude, it will happen slowly as lots of tiny choices start to stack on top of one another. I find that to be a huge relief, because none of us can move a mountain in a day or do things perfectly all day long, but it’s so much easier to make a tiny positive choice in the right direction. Here are a few itsy bitsy changes that don’t always come easily but can make life a bit sweeter. Keep reading »