Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dater X: My Relationship Goal For The New Year Is To Be Secure With Me

Dater X: My Relationship Goal For The New Year Is To Be Secure With Me

In my last post, I shared with you a comprehensive list of guys I’ve dated, slept with, or come in contact with over the last year, and the lessons I learned from each. Some of them were men I’d met only once or twice, and others were guys who I actually had feelings for, but looking at that list — I mean REALLY taking a hard look at the amount of men who entered my life in 2014 — is upsetting to me. On one hand, I tell myself that I put myself out there, continued to get back on the horse when love didn’t go my way and that I faced the dating world with resilience. On the other hand, I look at that list and wonder why not even one guy stuck around. Ultimately, it boils down to the fact that, in the new year, I need to be more secure with me. I need to feel confident in my decisions and know that mistakes, successes and failures are all my own. Keep reading »

In 2015, I Will Be More Emotionally Honest

New Years

I don’t like the concept of New Year’s resolutions for the obvious reasons: they make us feel terrible about ourselves, they’re unrealistic, they allow fitness/diet/beauty companies to encroach on our insecurity and suck the life out of us, and they imply that the only time you can change your life is when a new year begins. They’re way too all-or-nothing and presume that if you slip up three days into your “new life plan” you’re a huge failure who will never have a better life. No thanks. I think most of us spend enough time beating ourselves up already, so there’s no need for an annual cultural tradition dedicated to more of that. I’m all about personal improvement, on January 1 or any other day of the year, so I think it’s more the “resolution” label that bugs me than the act of setting goals itself. What I can handle instead of resolutions is the idea of setting intentions. Intentions are more abstract and have more to do with the attitude you carry with you every day than setting distinct cold-turkey goals, and even if your intention is a concrete goal, referring to it as something other than a dreaded resolution has to be better for the psyche somehow, right? I have lots of random goals for 2015, but my biggest intention is to be more emotionally honest. I’m not referring to honesty in terms of a tendency to lie to people’s faces about literal facts or dropping hurtful truthbombs in their faces, though that’s probably not an ideal life choice either – not that I’m judging! What I need more of in my life is honesty with myself and others about how I really feel about things and what I really want.

Keep reading »

Here’s Why Humans Are Built To Be Kind

A Dose Of Faith In Humanity For The New Year

When many people think about Darwin’s theory of evolution and survival of the fittest, they assume that the competition to pass on genes is what defines human beings, and that that competitive impulse makes us ruthless at our core. What’s forgotten in that thought process is that humans have to not only pass on our genes, but also ensure our lineage by caring for our offspring – and that care makes us compassionate, rather than ruthless, at heart. Keep reading »

Hitched 2.0: 10 Questions To Ask Potential Photographers

Hitched 2.0: 10 Questions To Ask Potential Photographers

In my personal opinion, photography is one of the very most important aspects of the wedding (after the actual getting married thing, of course). Flowers will wilt, candles will be extinguished, and the music will stop—but the pictures are forever. They’re one of the few lasting, tangible things you’ll have from your big day, so it’s important to find a photographer who you’re happy and comfortable with. Doing so can be a bit overwhelming, so here are some questions to aid in the process. Keep reading »

It’s Gonna Be Okay: 9 Things I Learned In 2014

2014

This was a year of changes, challenges and questions, and that made it full of unexpected lessons. Some realizations I had this year should probably have already been obvious to me, some I wish I’d never learned at all, and some came as a huge relief. A few of observations from 2014 that I’ll keep in mind as a new year begins… Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “My Dude Is Having A Rough Time And I Want To Encourage Him — But Without Sounding Like His Mommy”

Make It Stop: "My Dude Is Having A Rough Time And I Want To Encourage Him -- But Without Sounding Like His Mommy"

The dude in my life is going through a rough time — career-wise, financially, etc. — and I think it’s starting to impact his sense of, like, manliness. I’m a super nurturing person and I really want to encourage him to keep at it and basically tell him I’m proud of him, but I know sometimes I can come off as a bit … maternal, and that probably won’t help matters with his macho dude provider issues. Do you have any suggestions for how to tell or show someone you’re proud of them without actually SAYING that?

Sometimes our family, friends, and significant others need a self-esteem boost every now and then. I understand your apprehension flat out tell him that you’re proud of him. It might come off as hollow. In his mind, he might spin it out to think, “What’s there to be proud of? I’m a big loser,” and it might have the unintended affect of making him feel worse about things when all you were trying to do was pump him up. Keep reading »

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