It’s been six days since Scar Twin broke up with me.
Everything had been going well until one day last week, it all just … changed. In the beginning of the week, Scar Twin had warned me about his crazy work schedule and how he was going to be busy most nights preparing for the long weekend, so when his texts became scarce and his “just because” phone calls suddenly stopped, I tried to convince myself he was just stressed and busy. But after a couple days of short, lifeless text messages and no mention of getting together over Labor Day weekend, I started to worry that things had taken a bad turn. Keep reading »
First dates inspire a low-level nausea and roiling dread for a variety of reasons. It could be horrible or it could be amazing. Meeting a stranger at a bar contains a world of untold possibility. Maybe they’ll be your soulmate, someone that makes your heartstrings zing and your loins quiver. Maybe they’ll be the worst person you’ve ever met in your life, and you’ll be better for knowing that someone out there that horrible exists, and just how to avoid them. Or, maybe it’ll be a perfectly average night, nothing to write home about, but just a two hour chunk of your life in which you sat across the table from a perfectly normal dude with a beard in a nice button-down, who you didn’t really have chemistry with. Whatever. You play the field for as long as you can until something that clicks comes along. Keep reading »
“‘Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says, “But doctor… I am Pagliacci.” — ‘Watchmen’ excerpt via Patton Oswalt
I want to talk frankly about how to support people who are suicidal, from the position of someone who has been suicidal at times herself in her teenage and adult life. It can be incredibly difficult to be a support person for someone struggling with these issues, and I get asked a lot what to say or what to do. I’d also like to create a basic support guide for someone with daily mental health issues like depression or anxiety, but that’s another post (and there’s some resources out there).
I’m someone who has often been told that I’m just so strong and so many people look up to me and I shouldn’t ever consider suicide because people need me, etc. etc. etc. I know it’s all meant well, but it makes me feel like an animal in a cage, unable to express how I feel because I’m constrained by other people’s opinions of me and my own reputation. It’s not healthy for me, or for anyone. It’s ok to break down sometimes. It’s ok to reach the end of your rope.
And we need a community to help prevent this from happening over and over again. Keep reading »
There are certain types of guys that women find irresistible, even if we know that those men are no good. Can you blame us? Everybody loves a bad boy, but the troublemakers are only the tip of the iceberg. There are plenty of other types of guys that women should avoid dating at all costs. Take out word for it — your love life will be a whole lot better. Read more on Tres Sugar…
It was only by happy accident that I scheduled our yearly family vacation to the outer Cape to coincide with Provincetown, Massachusett’s annual Carnival. For the uninitiated, Provincetown — or PTown, as its called — is a sweet little seaside village on the tip of Cape Cod, known for being the first place the Pilgrims landed (not Plymouth Rock, no matter what you learned in 2nd grade). In addition to its American history roots, PTown also happens to be known as “the ultimate gay and lesbian vacation destination,” with annual events like Bear Week, Women’s Week, various nightly drag shows, and of course Carnival.
Carnival is a weeklong celebration that culminates in a spectacular, some may say debaucherous, parade. Each year sees a new distinct theme and the entire town gets involved, putting floats in the parade, decorating storefronts, and promoting the theme through parties and events throughout the week. In addition, Carnival draws in over 90,000 spectators, including lots of tourists like ourselves.
This year’s Carnival theme was Comic Book Crusaders. Once I found out we’d be there the same week, I knew we had to go (especially since we end up hanging out in PTown anyway!). And it turns out that taking our family to a parade surrounded by half-naked folks and fierce, fabulous drag queens was one of the best experiences we’ve ever had together: Keep reading »
It was October 2012. My Australian boyfriend and I had just been on a romantic, whirlwind adventure road trip around Europe. We spent the first month with his parents in Spain and France, and then spent the following month on our own. We zigzagged through Switzerland, Austria, a brief drive through Lichtenstein, Germany, and finally Belgium. We’d been living in London before our travels and this was to be our final trip before we relocated together to San Francisco.
The preceding months had been fraught with anxiety as the expiration dates on our visas approached. As is the the case in many international relationships, my boyfriend and I struggled how to proceed as a couple. San Francisco was my choice, but he was not quite ready to leave Europe. In Bruges, on the last day of our trip, we broke up. We were one day away from going back to London, saying our goodbyes and then going our separate ways to reunite a few months later. The impending separation felt like it spelled doom, and we suffered over what to do. Keep reading »