Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be More Verbal”

My boyfriend and I have been together for many years and are intimate in every way except one: he wants dirty talk (really, really filthy talk) in the bedroom and I’m not comfortable giving it. I’m not a prude by any means, and am willing to try anything at least once in every other aspect of our relationship, but this is something I can’t, and frankly won’t, do. I tried it once and in addition to feeling totally embarrassed, I felt like it cheapened the experience. My boyfriend recently confessed that my not being able to do this for him means that I don’t trust him and love him enough to open up to him completely, and implied that our relationship was incomplete as a result. Is this really as big of a deal as he thinks it is? And if it is, is there any way I can get past my discomfort? — Verbal Prude

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Wanting More” And “Homeward Bound” Respond

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear short updates from two people: “Wanting More,” a young woman from a recent “Shortcuts” column who wanted to know how to ask her FWB whether he wanted a real relationship without sounding needy, and “Homeward Bound,” who wondered if she should stay out east, where she was finishing grad school, to be with the man she loved, or move back west, where she had friends, family, better career options and a home she loved. Find out what both these ladies decided to do and whether they’re still with their guys, after the jump. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Want To Be The “Fun Girlfriend”

When I was in college, I dated a guy who went to college in Ithaca, New York. The town is filled with gorges and bridges that run over rivers. One afternoon as we were walking along with a picnic basket and passed over a bridge, he declared he wanted to strip down to his undies and jump in a river. Other swimmers had made the 10-foot jump and were laughing and splashing, but I just … couldn’t. I am not afraid of heights and I know how to swim. He kept calling at me to jump in and offering to hold my hand and jump with me, but my mind kept circling around my fears: “I’m going to sink straight to bottom. Hit a rock. And break my neck. I will be paralyzed. All because someone wanted me to jump off a bridge to go swimming.” I stood at the edge of the bridge for a whole damn hour, even starting to cry, terrified to jump in.

Eventually we walked on and had our picnic. He ate psychedelic mushrooms while I sat and watched, because that’s another thing I’m afraid to do. I felt like … well, I felt like a pussy. And worse, I felt like I wasn’t being a fun girlfriend. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Is My Boyfriend Being Disloyal?”

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and we are deeply in love, but our relationship is far from perfect. He cheated on his ex to be with me and since then I have had trust issues which I am trying to work through. The problem is, my boyfriend has been invited to his ex’s friend’s 21st birthday party and I, on account of being the homewrecker, am not invited. My relationship with the party host is civil; she dated one of our friends and we see her occasionally at events. My issue is that, as a sign of loyalty, I think my boyfriend should not go to this event that I am actively being excluded from. I fear that he hasn’t made much of an effort to ask the host if I can attend, and my suspicion is that he really wants to go to see his ex and scope out her new boyfriend. I can’t see any other reason for him wanting to go because he’s not close with the host and knows next to no one going. I’m not afraid of him cheating on me because I know he is as devoted to me as I am to him; I’m just uncomfortable about the whole situation and wish he could see it from my point of view. He tells me he sees it as just another party but to me it is so much more. Am I overreacting? — The “Homewrecker”

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What Are You Grateful For Today?

I was getting my morning coffee today at my local neighborhood spot when a blind man walked in. The two baristas and I watched as he used his cane to navigate around. He had wandered into the shop kind of accidentally on purpose. Most likely just to get a whiff of the intoxicating smell of coffee and pastries. But then he couldn’t find his way out, even with his cane. One of the girls came out from behind the counter, took his arm, and escorted him out of the shop. The other looked at me really earnestly and said, “Ya know, we don’t appreciate what we have. We always want more and more. We’re never grateful enough for what we do have.”

I was slightly taken aback since we make small talk every day, but never really talk on that level. How right she was. As I walked out, sipping my coffee, I was inspired to acknowledge what I was grateful for … as hokey as it may sound. Recently, I’ve been thinking about how important it is to be humble, so this seemed like the perfect opportunity. I’m grateful for many things, but for today, I appreciated that I was on my way to a job that I love. What are you grateful for today? Please share in the comments. Keep reading »

I Love You So Much I Had To Tell The World About It

Aww. Nothing like one’s love scrawled across a public wall. As seen on the side of a building on South Congress Avenue in Austin, Texas.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to Keep reading »

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