Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Frisky Q&A: Judge Lynn Toler On “Divorce Court,” Relationship Red Flags, And Settling

Judge Lynn Toler has practiced law for more than two decades, but her legal career has led her down a path few of her peers have traveled. She was elected judge of the Cleveland Heights Municipal Court at the age of 33, and while on the bench, she worked with several organizations focusing on battered women and domestic violence. In 2001, Judge Toler became the host of “Power of Attorney,” but you probably know her best as the judge on “Divorce Court,” a position she’s held since 2006.

Now, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I questioned Judge Toler’s abilities when I noticed my beloved Judge Mablean Ephraim was no longer on the “Divorce Court” bench. But I quickly realized that Judge Toler heard her cases with genuine concern and interest, and offered insight and practical solutions, when possible, for the couples’ problems. She truly is a fair and impartial counselor. So I was really excited to speak with Judge Toler who, along with having an extensive legal and academic career, has also written two books, My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius and Put It in Writing!: Creating Agreements Between Family and Friends, co-authored with Deborah Hutchison.

Keep reading to learn about her craziest experiences on “Divorce Court,” including the time Gary Coleman was a guest. Plus, the relationship red flags no one should ignore, and whether it’s OK to settle with a man who isn’t necessarily on your career and education level. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Teaching Class” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Teaching Class,” a young teacher who worries that another young teacher in her school was making a fool of herself by acting too quirky. “Part of me wants to go and have a gentle conversation with ‘Jane’ about professionalism, especially since I think it is hurting her relationship with her students in addition to staff, but I wouldn’t know what to say.” I advised “Teaching Class” to let a supervisor be the one to talk professionalism with Jane, and instead, seek out her friendship if she was so inclined. After the jump, find out if she followed that advice. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My First Love Died

I was on a date with my boyfriend of six months. But after we purchased popcorn, took our seats, and held hands watching “Dark Knight,” I couldn’t help but think of Luc, my ex, during the film. Something about Heath Ledger’s character reminded me of him—the lip-smacking attitude of too much Xanax. Sometimes I guiltily tried to measure how much I thought about Luc. Was it once a day? Once a week?

Back home with our shoes off and phones switched on, my boyfriend saw that I had a voicemail. It was from my mom. I watched him listen to the message, my heart quickening.

“Luc died,” he said. Keep reading »

Introducing: “Guess The Publication”

I’m going to introduce a new little game around here. Let’s call it: “Guess the Publication.” I’ll post a quote and you guess which major print or online publication it’s pulled from. Sound fun? Good. Here’s the first one:

“A woman needs to come up with a workable routine for maintaining her looks throughout her lifetime and avoid rationalizing slacking off— while she’s seeking a man and after she has one. Yeah, you might have to put five or ten extra minutes into prettying up just to hang around the house. And, sure, you might be more ‘comfortable’ in big sloppy sweats, but how ‘comfortable’ will you be if he leaves you for a woman who cares enough to look hot for him?”

Your choices: A. Marie Claire B. Cosmopolitan C. Psychology Today D. The Atlantic. Find out the answer after the jump. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: The Two-Night Stand

I met Elliot* at a restaurant. I was sitting at a table having dinner with a friend when I saw him sipping a bourbon at the bar. My palms got a little clammy, my jaw dropped slightly, and I may have even audibly gasped. “Hottest. Dude. Ever,” I announced to my friend. My mouth started to salivate. He was dreamy.

“Where?” my friend asked.

“There. At the bar,” I said. “The one with the facial hair and the scarf around his neck. The one who is obviously the sexiest guy this place has ever seen.” He was good-looking in the way that would make even the most poised woman act like a horny teenage boy, stopping to do a double and triple take and choke back a catcall. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Marry For Health Insurance?”

I was laid off about a year and a half ago and have been without health care since that time. For the most part, that’s OK because I am not sick often. I do, however, have adult ADHD and it is incredibly difficult to function or keep myself organized without my medication. I also have continuous problems with UTIs and am now having pain in my kidneys. I’ve done mass quantities of research and every option is either out of my price range or literally will take days of waiting in different lines and being screened by social workers before I am even able to see a doctor (for the UTI). The ADHD actually requires going to another city where my college doctor is, convincing him to see me for free and then write me a prescription which I then send to a specific pharmaceutical company who will decide if I am deserving of free medication. There is one other option that could possibly work, but it is one that makes me very sad. I could secretly wed my fiancé and then get on his health insurance. We are supposed to be married in about a year, but if we went to a court we could be married as soon as this weekend. The whole idea of that breaks my heart; I love him so much that I don’t want to hide being married to him. I also don’t want to get married without our families there. I am so conflicted. Should I just suck it up and spend the days and the miles running around trying to get the help I need or secretly wed my husband-to-be and make it easy to see a doctor? — In Sickness and In Health

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