Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dear Wendy: “I Saw My Boyfriend With His Wife!”

About four months ago, I began seeing an old high school friend. We hadn’t seen each other in years and had reconnected online. In the 10 years since high school, he had married and had a child. When we began seeing each other he made it VERY clear that he was separated and had been for close to a year. The separation was not exactly amicable. He had his own house and I even met his 3-year-old daughter on the weekends. In the beginning, he said we should keep things sort of quiet until his pending divorce was final. I was OK with this because we had a small group of mutual friends who were aware of the relationship. Last weekend, I was out with some girlfriends at my local bar and my boyfriend walked in with his ex. He saw me and bolted. (We’d had sex two days prior.) About a minute later, I received a text that just said “working things out.” Of course, my friends consoled me and all agreed that I should tell his wife. Our mutual friends (most of whom are guys) agree that he’s a d-bag but think I should keep quiet. They also said they are as blindsided as I am because they thought we were doing so well together. I have texted and emailed several times with no response. I believe I’m owed an explanation at the very least. I have some very incriminating emails and texts that I have contemplated sending to his wife. I haven’t yet because I realize there’s a child involved in all of this. On the other hand, I feel he’s lying to his wife also. I’m feeling very used and depressed and just can’t decide what’s right or wrong. — Feeling Used

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How Much Is Enough Sex In A Relationship?

What’s a healthy sex life? Is it true that what’s good for some might not work for others? According to sex therapist Ian Kerner, couples should be having sex once a week, minimum. Kerner’s seeing what he calls an “epidemic” of sexless relationships and believes that things like social and economic stresses, health problems and the rise of internet porn are to blame. Reconnecting with your partner on a physical level helps reaffirm intimacy and rebuild connections. But! He says, sex isn’t just about connecting with your partner in an intimate way. It’s also great for reducing stress, boosting immunity and releasing pleasure chemicals called endorphins. Some other added benefits: steady sex helps boost confidence and has been shown to make people more successful at work.

So, does sex once a week sound like a good number to you? Too much? Too little? [CNN] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Unknowingly Bought My Own Engagement Ring

My ex-fiancé made me cry on our first date.

Huddled together in my cramped Manhattan apartment, I learned that Michael graduated from UCLA, knew the lyrics to every Air Supply ballad, and had recently been diagnosed with stomach cancer for the second time. He brushed away my tears while citing his recurring symptoms and chemotherapy schedule. I added “strong” and “brave” to my mental checklist, along with “handsome,” “charming,” “funny,” and “sensitive.” Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Afraid Of Slipping Up” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Afraid of Slipping Up,” who was engaged to a man she adored, but had developed a crush on a colleague. After a few drinks at a work event, said colleague admitted he had feelings for her and tried to kiss her, prompting her to daydream about him incessantly over the next several weeks. After the jump, find out if she discovered a way to manage those daydreams or if she gave into temptation and got frisky with the work hottie. Keep reading »

Poll: What’s Your Longest Female Friendship?

What's Your Longest Female Friendship?

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The Official Map Of Non-Monogamy

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This map of non-monogamy makes me understand why so many people subscribe to monogamy … it’s way less complicated. I am going to go study for my non-monogamy pop quiz now. Dan Savage would be proud of me. [Tacit] Keep reading »

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