Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

What Are Your 5 Non-Negotiables?

The New York season of “The Millionaire Matchmaker” has been a little rough to watch so far. Between Patti Stanger’s broken engagement, her emotional outbursts (mostly at the new intern), and her total lack of comprehension of the NYC dating scene, she’s been in a noticeably foul mood. However, her concept of the five non-negotiables, which she’s been pushing hard this season, is rather brilliant. She typically uses it to get douchebag dudes to stop being delusional about what kind of women will actually be willing to shack up with them, but I decided to give the exercise a whirl myself. Of course, I have that wish list that every single woman has, you know, the one with the hundreds of qualities that her dream guy will possess. I know, keep dreamin’, sister. But seriously, I do think it was a helpful exercise to pare that long-ass list down to the absolute essentials. After the jump, I and some other Frisky staffers share our five non-negotiables. Share yours in the comments. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “How Do I Mention My Dad’s Recent Death On A First Date?”

I took a break from the online dating pool for about four months because my dad was in the final stages of cancer. He passed away in July, and I’ve been back in the online dating waters for a month or so now and am having trouble deciding what’s appropriate to share about my dad’s death on a first date. I feel that I have taken time to focus on myself and deal with my feelings, and I can talk about his passing very easily because of the work I’ve done on myself. However, in the few dates I’ve had these past few weeks, the topic of family, whether my parents are still together, what my relationship with my parents is like, etc. naturally comes up. I don’t like lying, especially on a first date, but I also don’t want to bring down the room by saying, “Oh actually, my dad’s dead.” I don’t feel uncomfortable telling people he passed away recently, but it seems to make some guys uncomfortable, like I’m telling too much too soon. Is this a case of “Well, if the guy can’t handle it , hen that’s his problem” or more of a “Hey, stop revealing so much about yourself on a first date”? I don’t make the subject of his death into a long drawn-out discussion — it’s just a fact of my life. Is there “proper” etiquette for handling this? — WWMMD (What Would Miss Manners Do)

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Do You Keep Tokens From Exes Or Toss ‘Em Immediately?

When you and a partner break up, do you immediately dump everything that reminds you of him, or do you let stuff linger around? Post-breakup messes are handled differently by everyone. For me, I’d rather have a clean slate and I’ll typically get rid of anything and everything that reminds of me of my ex. I’ll throw items away, or stick them someplace where I won’t have to look at them for a really long time and generally try to “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” my life. I realize not everyone’s the same though — and that’s where the Museum of Broken Relationships comes in. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why Does My Success Send Men Running Scared?

The other day, a guy I have been dating for the last month or so told me — via IM — “you’re a girl with great skin, and I’m a guy with pimples.” He dreamt up this metaphor as a way of explaining some emotional turmoil he had been feeling that I, apparently, had inadvertently set in motion. For so long, he had felt so “together,” but since meeting me, he “didn’t like the person he saw in the mirror.” And, just in case I didn’t get the original metaphor, “pimples = issues.”

Sigh. While I don’t think I’m being bulls**tted, I do think this is bulls**t. Keep reading »

Could You Find True Love With A Columbia Student? DateMySchool Thinks So

Of all the arbitrary ways online dating sites seek to play matchmaker — pairing together Jews, bookworms, music fans, French bikers, or female inmates — the premise of DateMySchool.com is no better or worse. DateMySchool claims to “facilitate meeting of students from different departments within the same school and between different universities” by only allowing singles to join through their verified school emails. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My New Husband Refuses To Sleep With Me”

I am a young woman in my mid-20s. I started dating my husband when I was 18. We were in a long-distance relationship, but decided to get married this year, and I left the U.S. to be with him. Before we were married, we had a great sex life. Now that I am here, he says he isn’t sexually attracted to me anymore. This may be understandable if I’d gained a lot of weight or my appearance had changed dramatically, but it hasn’t. (I actually LOST nearly 100 lbs. a few years ago). At first, he thought that that he didn’t love me anymore, but we’ve talked extensively about it and he says he does love me, but not sexually … he loves me like a family member, etc. He claims not to be attracted to any other women. For the record, he has extensive anxiety issues, as well as being overweight, etc. We’ve talked to his doctor, who suggests both counseling and testing to see if he has physical problems. He refuses both of these. I love him more than anything and I gave up everything to be with him, but I’ve become extremely depressed and discouraged, being so far from friends or family, with a husband who doesn’t seem to want to be a husband. I try to hide this from everyone, since my husband has already suggested that I would be happier elsewhere and I don’t want my family and friends to worry about something they have no control over. Help me save our marriage! — Sexless Bride

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