Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend’s Parents Don’t Like Me”

My boyfriend’s parents are nice but never really say much or ask me anything about myself. I’ve been spending nights at my boyfriend’s house for about a year and since his parents basically ignore me, I figured they were just shy like I am. My boyfriend shares everything with me, though, and told me things his parents have said that we are probably going to break up, that he could do better than me, and recently his mother told him she thinks I have an attitude and doesn’t feel comfortable around me. I do say ‘hi’ when I pass them, but they are never the ones to talk to me first and they act like I’m not there. She thinks that I should be the one trying to impress her is what she told my boyfriend. Well, that made me laugh — not to mention that after all the uncalled for things she’s said about me, I don’t feel like I owe her anything. I don’t feel comfortable in his house when she’s home anymore, and it’s quite hurtful to know that my perhaps future husband’s family doesn’t like me. He is starting to have a bad relationship with them because of how they feel towards me. Our relationship is wonderful so I don’t know what to do about this! I have always been kind and friendly and it feels like his mother is creating some uncalled for drama. — Not A Parent Pleaser

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20 Things I Wish I Knew In My 20s

In two weeks, I am turning 32. My 20s are officially long gone. I was thinking the other day about what I was up to when I was 21. I immediately thought of Marcy, an acting teacher I had at the time. Marcy was 39 and I remember her seeming so much older and wiser than me. I would go to class and cry about dudes or not knowing what to do with my life or being broke and Marcy would do the same thing every time. She would pat me on the back and say in her nasally voice, “Nobody tells you your 20s are going to suck.” While I do wish she had expounded a bit, her words made me feel better in a strange way. Just knowing that things would get better, well, not better exactly, just easier to deal with, was a relief. In your 20s, you don’t know what you don’t know and you’re struggling to figure it out. Everyone is. As I march bravely forward into my 30s, here’s what I wish Marcy would have told me. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Concerned Friend” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Concerned Friend” whose pal was obsessed with becoming pregnant, despite (or because of) recent medical issues that made it difficult to conceive. CF wondered how she could be the best friend to her pal during this time — whether she should be realistic with her or “feed into her hope that she’s pregnant.” After the jump, found out how both she and her friend are doing today. Keep reading »

Dater X: Why Does Sex Change Everything?

As Scruffy Beard began unhooking my bra, a panic signal went off in my head. Uh oh, Dater X, I thought to myself. This is your third date and you are straddling him in a chair. Your shirt is across the room, and you can feel his hard-on through his pants. You are on a steam locomotive powering towards sex town. This. Is. Not. Good.

I pulled back, feeling suddenly shy about the fact that I was topless. I looked him in the eyes—definitely his nicest feature, though I’d come to appreciate the rest of his face in the two weeks we’d been dating, too. His gaze seemed filled with adoration and desire, and he leaned forward and kissed me, soft and slow. I felt his hands squeeze around my butt. And that was it. Soon the rest of our clothes hit the floor, our makeout session getting more intense with every kiss and touch. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’ve Never Masturbated

I’ve had good sex and bad sex, but there’s one thing I’ve never had: solo sex. That’s right: I’m a 34-year-old woman who has never masturbated. I know it sounds crazy. Many people swear that masturbation is a critical part of being a sexually satisfied woman, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to do it. This came up recently while watching Natalie Portman go to town with herself in “Black Swan.” Self-love just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. My vagina and I just aren’t that close.

As a feminist, I rationally understand that I’ve in some ways internalized the social stigmas around female sexuality, and I don’t know how I’ll ever get over them. I just don’t want to have that kind of interaction … with myself.
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Dear Wendy: “He Called Me His Girlfriend, Then Disappeared”

I went on a first date with this amazing guy the day before Thanksgiving. We made a great connection and hung out all weekend. We both agreed that it felt right and marveled at how easy it was to spend time with each other, and on Sunday he even called me his girlfriend! Normally, I don’t jump into things like that, but we were so into each other that I threw caution to the wind and went with it. A few days later, he called me and said that something happened to his dad (whom he said he has issues with) and that he was hospitalized in a city two hours south of here. He said he needed to focus all his energy on dealing with that and that he couldn’t be my boyfriend right now, explaining that he didn’t want to be with me at all if he couldn’t be with me 100 percent. He said it would be a few weeks before things got back to normal, and then maybe we could start dating again. I’m an eternal optimist and I want to believe that he still wants to be with me eventually, but I can’t ignore my logical side. I think that if he wanted to talk to me, he would have called me by now. Normally, I would shrug it off and move on already, but I’ve never met anyone with whom I’ve had such a strong connection. I want to be with him, and the things he has said lead me to believe that he feels the same way. What should I do? — Rushed Love Lost

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