Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dater X: Feeling Attracted To Someone Who Isn’t That Attractive

What I’m about to say isn’t going to make you love me. It isn’t PC, and it certainly wouldn’t get high marks from the judges in a beauty pageant question and answer round. It is shallow, and a thing that none of us are supposed to say. But it is also honest:

Looks matter to me. Sometimes a lot. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Stressed About New Year’s Eve”

I’m in school in the UK and my wonderful boyfriend is in school in Michigan. I’m coming to stay with him for a couple weeks over New Year’s (one week in the middle, when he’s in classes, I’ll go to see my parents in NC), but there’s a problem: he wants to go to NYC for NYE where all his friends from undergrad will be and he wants me to pay for our flights and he’ll pay me back for both when he gets money he’s owed in January. I worry that if I pay for the tickets now, it will put me in a very tight money situation for the next few weeks until he pays me, and who knows if he’ll even be able to pay me promptly?! I get very nervous with money and budgeting, and he is very lax about “I owe you” and I worry it may be months or more before I’m paid back. I know when our relationship gets more serious we will have to talk about finances and how we handle money together, but this is hitting me in the face, and I feel unprepared. We were planning to go to Chicago for New Year’s — just the two of us — which would be a lot cheaper than going to NYC ($450 cheaper!), but he’d be upset about not being with his friends. At the end of the day, I’m sure I’ll be just really happy to be with him wherever we are, as I haven’t seen him in three months, but here I am fretting about money and I can’t help myself. What do you think I should do? — Pay it Forward?

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Dealbreaker: The Obnoxious Social Media Oversharer

Newly returned to New York after a two-year sojourn abroad, I was eager to make friends (or more than friends), so I turned to my Facebook, FourSquare, Twitter, Tumblr, and OkCupid accounts. At some point, social media savvy became a legitimate dating skill and I was ready to showcase mine to the fullest. I was excited when a cuteish boy I had met at a Fashion Week party had started following me on Twitter. I pushed that follow-button back, baby, and the ferocious at-replying began. Keep reading »

10 Ways Guys Can Ensure A Successful Date Before It Begins

It never ceases to amaze me, the myriad of ways dudes manage to f**k up dates before they’ve even begun. I don’t want to walk into a first date with a bad attitude, but if he has the gall to ask me out and then say, “Pick a place, but make sure it’s cheap,” I kind of can’t help it. I’m not the kind of bitch who picks Chez Chic-Chic for a first date, but if you’re on a budget, why don’t you pick, dickwad? Anyhoo, though I make a decent living complaining about men on the internet, I do like to pay it forward by giving unsolicited advice. Here are ten ways a dude can ensure a date is going to be a slam dunk before it’s even begun. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I MOA?”

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, the last three months of which have been long distance as I had to move for grad school. We only live three hours apart, so we still get to see each other a couple times a month. For most of the last three months, we have been fine — I felt happy, secure, and more fulfilled in a relationship then I ever had been before. However, for the last two or three weeks I just plain feel like I don’t have a boyfriend. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to spend time together recently. Our conversations have not been particularly interesting and I feel like he isn’t putting in a lot of effort. He hardly ever compliments me or returns it when I compliment him, his idea of sympathy is saying “that’s too bad,” and he’s even reticent to return my dirty texts. I feel bad, because he’s not particularly verbally expressive and I feel like I’m being too needy, but I don’t feel content, fulfilled, or even particularly happy right now. I’ve stopped trying because I’m tired of nagging him to be more affectionate and to take initiative. I feel like it would be better if we were actually in the same area code, but moving is not financially possible for him, and there are no graduate programs close to him that I could transfer to. Is there anything I can do or should I just MOA? — Up against a wall

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Love Potion Is Being Used To Treat Mental Illness

Oxytocin, that amazing hormone that gets you high when you fall in love, may be the miracle cure for mental illness. Researchers have been using the love spray as an experimental treatment for schizophrenia, PTSD, depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and autism. How does it work? Scientists don’t know exactly, but increased levels of oxytocin in the brain are are associated with social bonding, increased trust, and a general easing of stress and tension in the brain’s stress center. Uh, love potion # 9 is here, friends. Can you imagine what will happen when love spray becomes available to the masses? Bring on Utopia. [Live Science] Keep reading »

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