Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dear Wendy: “I’m A Selfish Girlfriend”

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months, and for this whole period, his mother, who lives several states away, has been very sick with cancer. Because this is such a difficult situation for him, I have tried to be understanding when things do not go my way. (I was not always selfless; during the first seven months, I would get upset when we didn’t have sex at least once a week or when he canceled our plans last minute.) In the last two months, his mother’s condition has taken a turn for the worse, and we do not know how much longer she has. I want to be supportive and as “there for him” as I can, but in these last two months he has not wanted to see me at all. The only interaction we have besides text messaging is when I’m picking up or dropping off his dog so I can dog-sit for him when he needs to go out of town to see his mother. I volunteer for this duty as it’s the only thing he lets me do to help him. The problem is, I can’t stop getting angry about him not wanting to see me, and I then voice that anger in the form of text message. He says he wants to be alone or is too in his own head to see me even though he still occasionally hangs out with his guy friends. I think that this anger is at least partially caused by me not knowing how to act in this situation. How do I get over this selfish anger? Do you have suggestions for how to act in this situation? — Selfish Girlfriend

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The Top 10 Most Inappropriate Places To Flirt

Earlier this week, a juror in a Connecticut murder trial was chastised by the judge for passing a note to the court marshal asking him for a date. After being alerted to the note, the judge told the juror he was a “‘romantic at heart,” but not in the courtroom, and said sending the note was a “goddamn dumb thing to do.” Obviously, there are appropriate places for flirting and a murder trial isn’t one of them. After the jump, 10 more “goddamn dumb” places to play a game of “pick-up.” Keep reading »

Good On Paper, “Meh” In Real Life?

We’ve all met somebody who fits the description: really, really great on paper, but not able to translate that into much of anything in person. I thought about it recently because I heard from a guy I used to date — one who is sooooo perfect on paper. He’s an attractive lawyer who owns his own house, rides motorcycles, and has a dog, but something in person just didn’t make sense for us. He was perfectly lovely, kind, considerate and thoughtful. He was also driven, ambitious, and had an adventurous spirit. But the cliche spark we were supposed to feel for each other was nonexistent. He remains a friend — and a constant reminder that chemistry can’t be quantified or tallied in abstract characteristics. And no matter how much you might want someone to be the right person for you — because they do have all of the things on your checklist — the universe has a way of telling you what you actually need. Tell us: Have you ever dated someone who met all your “on paper” qualifications but still wasn’t right for you? Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Is Insistent That I Take His Name If We Marry”

I have been dating a wonderful man for two years and we have been talking about getting married. The only problem is that it’s very important to him that I take his last name. He thinks it would make us feel more like a family and serve as a sign of my devotion to him. If I decided not to take his name, he said it wouldn’t change him wanting to marry me, but it would really hurt him. Prior to this, I had had no intention of changing my name when I got married for a number of reasons, one being that I work in a field (music) where name recognition and networking are very important, another being that I have a strong connection to my father’s family. I feel my last name is a part of my identity and I’m scared to lose that. I don’t want to hurt him since I love him and it’s so important to him, but I also don’t want to make a decision I’d regret for the rest of my life. Is there a way to make both of us happy? Please help! — Mrs. Maiden Name

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Dealbreaker: He’s Saving Himself For Marriage

I sat at the airport, waiting to board Virgin Airlines flight 451 traveling non-stop to my sunny destination … to a friend’s wedding. I exhaled. It had been too long since I had been on a real vacation. All my vacation days seem to be designated to other people’s weddings. In the terminal, I replayed the fantasy I’ve always had that one lucky time in my life I would end up seated next to a hot man on a plane, all the planets would align, and we would join the illustrious Mile-High Club. Maybe I could even take him as my wedding date. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Twenty-Something Virgin” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Twenty-Something Virgin,” the young woman who worried she blew her one chance to get laid when she turned down a friend’s suggestion that they have sex. I suggested she at least give a relationship with the guy a shot — if that was possibly of interest to them both — and see where things went from there. So, is she seeing the guy? Is she still a virgin? Find out all after the jump. Keep reading »

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