A few weeks ago, I wrote about all the things I love about loving women. A lot of commenters wrote that some of the things I listed can be found in straight relationships, too. This got me to thinking about what—if anything—I miss about being with dudes. Don’t get me wrong, it was a big relief to come out. But I did spent most of high school and even freshman year of college dating guys and sometimes it was really awesome. There are a few things about that time that make me nostalgic. Check out what I miss most, after the jump. Keep reading »
After a bit of a hiatus, I reactivated my online dating account in July. I got lots of messages in those first few weeks, but only one person stood out to me as someone I might like to meet in person. Ryan* and I messaged back and forth a few times and then he suggested we meet for a drink. To make the arrangements, we switched to email and that’s how I learned his full name. Armed with that information, I did what I almost always do in advance of a first date — Google the person to make sure he’s not wanted by the FBI, a convicted rapist, or a Christian rock musician. Ryan* was none of these things, thank goodness, but I did stumble upon some other unsavory information during my research: his political views — which he expressed on an occasionally used Twitter account and in conversations with a couple friends on his Google Buzz page — were vastly different from mine. Things I believe strongly in, he believed strongly against and so forth. Clearly, I needed to cancel this date immediately. Keep reading »
Yesterday, I received a letter from a reader who says she has “terrible taste in boyfriends” and gets quickly attached to them and tends to “gloss over any bad attributes they might demonstrate that could represent negative qualities to come.” So, she asked if there were any “lesser known, more subtle relationship red flags” that she should watch for early on. Oh, honey! The list of dating-related red flags could go on and on. But to help save her and others potential relationship train wrecks, I’ve culled 25 of the more outrageous and surprisingly overlooked red flags I’ve heard of. Check ‘em out after the jump. Keep reading »
I’m not going to lie: I’m in post-breakup emotional triage mode. This means I notice more than ever when other people are wearing wedding rings, and whether or not their Facebook status says “single” or “in a relationship.” I guess it’s because my heart is feeling so raw and scarred that I am especially attune to these things. Something awful I have to admit: It makes me feel slightly better when I learn that a couple I know has broken up. I’m not talking close friends — of course I feel horrible for them and want to do everything in my power to make them feel better. I mean those friends who are more acquaintances — who I know more about through their random Facebook status updates than anything else. I wouldn’t wish relationship problems on anyone, of course, but when I see that someone else is going through a breakup I feel less alone.
Why is this? Keep reading »
Here’s a curious article over at Fox News, “Charity Sex: The Gift That Keeps On Giving.” “Charity sex” (not to be confused with “pity sex”) is, according to the author, “a gift you give to your partner, and to yourself. Maybe you do it because he’s all wound up, and sex relaxes him. Maybe you do it because she’s feeling a little down, and sex gives her a boost … ” For now I’m going to ignore the other parts of the article that go on to advise that while engaging in charity sex you should count on “faking it until you make it” (as in trying to force yourself to get into the mood) and forgetting about having an amazing orgasm. Instead, let’s look at the idea of sexual gifting (“So this holiday season, don’t be a sexual scrooge. Give the gift of charity sex!”). In response to the article, one like-minded blogger over at Cafe Mom begs men to pretend they’re broke so as to get “creative” with their gifts and give the ultimately free present of a go in the sack. Keep reading »