In my middle school years, I learned about the menstrual cycle the same way I think most of my girlfriends did — through biology class, Judy Blume books and gossip. My mom told me zilch. My older sister prepared me for nada. Of course, parents these days, a generation later, are much more proactive in talking to their kids about sexuality, and at an early age, well before puberty hits — which I’m pretty sure is a good thing. On Psychology Today’s “Owning Pink” blog this week, Dr. Lissa Rankin has 12 tips for how to prepare a daughter for maturing, including “Take her on a tour of her body” and “Give her permission to tell you anything.” Wow, if I had gotten one such tip from my mom in the mid ’80s, I probably would have felt less shy about my changing body.
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Judge Lynn Toler has practiced law for more than two decades, but her legal career has led her down a path few of her peers have traveled. She was elected judge of the Cleveland Heights Municipal Court at the age of 33, and while on the bench, she worked with several organizations focusing on battered women and domestic violence. In 2001, Judge Toler became the host of “Power of Attorney,” but you probably know her best as the judge on “Divorce Court,” a position she’s held since 2006.
Now, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I questioned Judge Toler’s abilities when I noticed my beloved Judge Mablean Ephraim was no longer on the “Divorce Court” bench. But I quickly realized that Judge Toler heard her cases with genuine concern and interest, and offered insight and practical solutions, when possible, for the couples’ problems. She truly is a fair and impartial counselor. So I was really excited to speak with Judge Toler who, along with having an extensive legal and academic career, has also written two books, My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius and Put It in Writing!: Creating Agreements Between Family and Friends, co-authored with Deborah Hutchison.
Keep reading to learn about her craziest experiences on “Divorce Court,” including the time Gary Coleman was a guest. Plus, the relationship red flags no one should ignore, and whether it’s OK to settle with a man who isn’t necessarily on your career and education level. Keep reading »
It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Teaching Class,” a young teacher who worries that another young teacher in her school was making a fool of herself by acting too quirky. “Part of me wants to go and have a gentle conversation with ‘Jane’ about professionalism, especially since I think it is hurting her relationship with her students in addition to staff, but I wouldn’t know what to say.” I advised “Teaching Class” to let a supervisor be the one to talk professionalism with Jane, and instead, seek out her friendship if she was so inclined. After the jump, find out if she followed that advice. Keep reading »
I was on a date with my boyfriend of six months. But after we purchased popcorn, took our seats, and held hands watching “Dark Knight,” I couldn’t help but think of Luc, my ex, during the film. Something about Heath Ledger’s character reminded me of him—the lip-smacking attitude of too much Xanax. Sometimes I guiltily tried to measure how much I thought about Luc. Was it once a day? Once a week?
Back home with our shoes off and phones switched on, my boyfriend saw that I had a voicemail. It was from my mom. I watched him listen to the message, my heart quickening.
“Luc died,” he said. Keep reading »
I’m going to introduce a new little game around here. Let’s call it: “Guess the Publication.” I’ll post a quote and you guess which major print or online publication it’s pulled from. Sound fun? Good. Here’s the first one:
“A woman needs to come up with a workable routine for maintaining her looks throughout her lifetime and avoid rationalizing slacking off— while she’s seeking a man and after she has one. Yeah, you might have to put five or ten extra minutes into prettying up just to hang around the house. And, sure, you might be more ‘comfortable’ in big sloppy sweats, but how ‘comfortable’ will you be if he leaves you for a woman who cares enough to look hot for him?”
Your choices: A. Marie Claire B. Cosmopolitan C. Psychology Today D. The Atlantic. Find out the answer after the jump. Keep reading »
I met Elliot* at a restaurant. I was sitting at a table having dinner with a friend when I saw him sipping a bourbon at the bar. My palms got a little clammy, my jaw dropped slightly, and I may have even audibly gasped. “Hottest. Dude. Ever,” I announced to my friend. My mouth started to salivate. He was dreamy.
“Where?” my friend asked.
“There. At the bar,” I said. “The one with the facial hair and the scarf around his neck. The one who is obviously the sexiest guy this place has ever seen.” He was good-looking in the way that would make even the most poised woman act like a horny teenage boy, stopping to do a double and triple take and choke back a catcall. Keep reading »