Miracle of miracles, the current economic crisis doesn’t look like it’s going to saddle you with major financial setbacks. Your significant other, however, hasn’t been so lucky. Whether your partner’s been laid off, forced to take a pay cut, or seen a formerly robust stock portfolio become awfully puny, it’s become quite clear that his or her financial future is looking grim. Though it makes you feel a little guilty, you’re beginning to re-evaluate whether, going forward, his or her financial situation will be able to provide or assist you with living the kind of lifestyle you’d like – or at least to which you’ve become accustomed. Are you being cold and superficial or wise and practical? We consulted Debra Mandel, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Dump that Chump! for advice on how you should best approach the situation.
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My dilemma involves a man whom I’m extremely attracted to, but very ambivalent about romantically. We’re known each other for over a year and things either seem to move at a snail’s pace or just come to a screeching halt entirely. The last time we were in the same vicinity was sometime in October. He called me at 3am under the guise of being too drunk to drive. Being the kind soul that I am, I picked him up and let him crash at my place. I felt nervous and awkward, but my altruistic side won out. He apologized for his antics, swore up and down that he didn’t blame me for hating him, etc. Naturally, this fueled my frustration and I may have ripped into him a little about his actions towards me. We fooled around, but no intercourse occurred. This is the second time he’s stoked my fire just enough, but not enough to go all the way. I feel cautious because it feels like he is hiding something, but I can’t put my finger on what. I want to believe that he cares, but his broken words leave me doubting. It feels like I should walk away, but very time I seem to get to that point is when he happens to show up again. I don’t know whether this is one to walk away from or try to make a go at it. I don’t know if my head or my heart or both are right in this situation. My DOB is March 10, 1984 (birth time 5:30 pm Nassau, Bahamas) and his DOB is 12/4/1980. — When To Walk Away? Keep reading »
Though I can’t remember his name, I can still recall the face of the guest who whipped out a handful of Ziploc bags as a long ago Christmas party was winding down. “Do you mind if I take some of these cheese puffs home with me?” he half-asked, shoving the leftover snacks into a bag. “What about these tortilla chips?”
Too shocked to do anything but nod, my acquaintance left with a stash of snacks and a permanent place on my own personal Do Not Call list.
When I first started writing this piece, I figured it would be about not making a fool of yourself at the company holiday party. But the more I researched, the more it seemed that pretty much every business on the planet has cancelled their annual soirees. I get that you can’t lay off half your staff and then ply the other half with six-foot sandwiches and cheap booze, but I think a lot of companies are using this financial downturn as an excuse. Bah humbug! Keep reading »
If you aren’t addicted already, we here at The Frisky are happy to announce that we’ve got two great women writing new weekly columns for the site. For all your mating, dating, and relationship needs, acclaimed author, editor, and former Village Voice columnist Rachel Kramer Bussel is doing “Dating Drama.” So far, she’s revealed how to figure out if he’s The One, exposed that sometimes a sex columnist doesn’t have safe sex, and profiled professional flirts. Meanwhile, Claire Zulkey, a Chicago-based blogebrity who’s written for the LA Times and The Onion, is covering the wedding beat in “Wife With a Life.” Her first installment, “How My Mom Planned My Entire Wedding and Nobody Got Hurt,” debuted this week as part of her ongoing series on becoming a bride without turning into a bridezilla. We hope you’ll bookmark them, along with all our other great writers! Keep reading »
We’re just going to come right out and say it: staying in a bad relationship just because you a) don’t want to be alone for the holidays or b) don’t want to be the bad guy/gal who dumped someone during the most wonderful time of the year is a waste. Why wait until after the new year (or worse yet, after Valentine’s Day) to make a change and move forward? It’s not going to be easy, but isn’t it better to be free than to be dreading an impending breakup for the next couple of weeks or months?
Here are our top 5 highly unscientific reasons you should break up before January 1st: Keep reading »
Reader Haley took this in Rome on Christmas last year right between the Colosseum and the Forum/Palatine Hill area.
Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to firstname.lastname@example.org. Keep reading »
Girlfriend break-ups can be just as traumatizing as regular old break-ups with boys. The process is even similar: the anger, sadness, mourning, and finally, acceptance. While you may not have left precious clothes, expensive facial lotion, or significant jewelry at her house, you do feel like a real part of your soul missing as there’s really nothing like a good girlfriend. What exactly happens when we decide (or our friend decides) we’re just not a good fit anymore? Keep reading »
I worship my mother. She’s smart, funny, annoyingly good at most things she does, determined, stylish, everything. And I’m still kind of scared of her. We’re talking about a woman who booked the date of my wedding before I even knew I was going to get married. That’s right—between the time that my soon-to-be-fiance Steve asked for my parents’ blessing and the time that he actually popped the question, Mom made a few phone calls. She already knew she wanted the wedding to take place in the fall. Many years earlier, she had told me this, and I had casually mentioned it to Steve in one of my casual reminders during the home stretch of our five-year courtship that I was ready to move forward. When he spoke to my parents, Mom asked what time of year he was thinking for a wedding.
“Fall?” Steve said.
“What a great idea!” she said. Of course it was a great idea—it was her idea. Keep reading »
Over the weekend, The New York Times’ advice column, “Social Q’s,” got a query from a recently dumped girl who just couldn’t seem to cheer up. Writer Philip Galanes pointed out, the proper soundtrack can get you grooving to your own gloom! He singled out Pink’s new anthem about getting back out there after her own divorce, “So What.” He then encouraged the sad soul to sing along at full blast until it became her new mantra: “So, so what/I’m still a rock star/I’ve got my rock moves/And I don’t need you.” Yeah, that’s some solid (as a rock) advice! But Pink isn’t the only one who has weathered the storm after a split. Since misery loves company, here are The Frisky’s picks for beating the blues to get you back in the mood to be your butt-kicking self! Keep reading »
Candlelight, red wine, freshly made pasta. Flirting at a small table in a corner infrequently visited by the waiter. Such are the makings of a great date.
But not if you can’t eat what they’re serving. What if you must start with a 10-minute interrogation: Can the scaloppini be prepared without a dusting of flour? Can I forgo the bed of pasta and just have the red pepper salmon? Does the chef use anything to thicken the risotto? Embarrassing. Your waiter takes a few trips to the kitchen to speak with the chef, and your date progresses in fits in starts. And–let’s be honest–you might seem a little high-maintenance (think Sally Albright, the picky heroine who ordered everything on the side in the romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally). Keep reading »