Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

10 Places NOT To Meet Men

Last night I saw an Alvin Ailey Dance Theater performance. It was spectacular. However, as I looked around during the intermissions I realized this performance was a horrible place to meet a man. Some men seemed to have been dragged to the theater by their wives/girlfriends and the others seemed to be gay. Some people say that to meet a new man you just have to go out, but I think there are some specific places you shouldn’t go to meet any man. Check out 10, after the jump… Keep reading »

Guy Gets Dumped Via His Blog


“Sean recorded private webcam conversations with his girlfriend and put them on his blog. When she finds out, things go from bad to worse.” I’m not going to spoil “Dumped” by saying too much about it, but suffice to say it’s about a guy who gets dumped, and it has a surprising twist. Thanks to Kasia at Current for sending it. Keep reading »

Three Questions To Determine Your Authenticity

“I know exactly who I am.” That was my immediate response.

Your response is probably very similar … and you could not achieve success in any area of your life without a certain degree of self-awareness and self-confidence. In my own experience, my confidence was strong until the day I reflected more deeply on the question about who I am. Why? Because I sensed many professionals often exude a presence that just seems fake. Is their self-awareness and self-confidence based in fact or is it just a facade? Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Felt Financially Trapped In A Relationship

For about four years in my mid-twenties, I dated and lived with a guy who was as wrong for me as a double-breasted blazer. He certainly wasn’t the only guy I ever got involved with who wasn’t Mr. Right, but he’s only one I stayed with about three years longer than I should have. I could cite plenty of reasons why it took me so long to leave him: he was comfortable, I was afraid of being alone, I got free turkey sandwiches at the restaurant he managed, but if I’m being honest, it was my financial dependency on him that made it so hard to end the relationship. Even now, I’m embarrassed to recall how I, an “independent woman,” allowed myself to be dependent on a man, but the truth is I was lazy and spoiled. Keep reading »

What’s The Juiciest Thing You’ve Learned Googling An Ex?

Several years ago, fresh out of a long-term, live-in relationship, I started seeing a guy I met in a bar who was also on the rebound. I was searching for the antithesis of my ex, and as a well-traveled, charming, cocky med student, he fit the bill perfectly. He, on the other hand, seemed to be searching for someone exactly like his ex, a fellow med student who, I learned, loved strappy heels, expensive boutiques, and spoke with a Russian accent. Much to my rebound’s chagrin, I was nothing like his ex, despite his constant effort to mold me into something resembling her. “You’re totally still in love with her,” I accused him one afternoon for the umpteenth time after he recommended yet another store where she liked to shop. “You’re crazy!” he exclaimed again, something, in my vulnerable state, I was beginning to believe. Keep reading »

Dating Drama: Why I’m Happy To Be Single (For Now)

Not long ago, I had a boyfriend. Now, I’m single. Again. I’d been feeling like my relationship wasn’t working for a while, but that hasn’t made the breakup any easier. I miss my ex, but even more, I miss the idea of us having a future together. At the same time, I’m getting into the idea of being single, and trying to embrace that rather than rushing to find someone to replace him. (There are few people I’ve had my eye on.) I’m reminded of “Single Girl” by Lush. It starts with “Single girl/who would want to be a single girl?” and ends with “I’m so happy I’m a single girl.” In the interest of focusing on the latter rather than the former, here are the top 10 reasons I’m happy to be single. Keep reading »

First Time For Everything: Dating A Younger Man

I have forever dated older men. Some by a year. Others by four years. Another by ten years. My theory came to be that ten years might be the ideal age difference. I felt five years older than my age, and men were usually about five maturity years younger than their actual age, so if I was 25, my ideal mate would be 35. We would meet at the figurative age of 30. It all made perfect mathematical sense. Keep reading »

For The Week Of December 15-21, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’re under no obligation to do anything you don’t want to. After all, why fight the selfish, lazy, and irritable mood that’s how you honestly feel? Bah humbug all the way, but you’re not the only one feeling the slump. When it comes to connecting over misery, you’ll find complaining is an effective and joyous method of foreplay.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Bitching will get you heard, and the louder the better. No more sitting on the sidelines, trying to play perfect in your partnership, as that isn’t going to make you happy at the end of the day. This isn’t to say your honey isn’t out to please, but when you don’t say a thing, how will he ever know what to do? He may be cute, but smart? Not always.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’ll finally hear words you want to hear, but where that’ll lead won’t be what you’d assume. It seems a new can of worms will open, leading you down another dramatic path that has more questions than answers. At least the power to decide your fate is back in your hands, and that’s as good as you can ask for at this point.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

The bottom line on your current prospect is if you’re not feeling the love by this week, call it quits, as you’ll never get to that level of intimacy you crave. Yes, your optimist is getting the better of you, and to think your latest deeper than he is would only be wasting your imagination. Better to spend your time in bed catching up on sleep.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

If your baby can’t get with your current program, then it’s time to listen to those voices in your head and reconsider past compromises you’ve made as a favor to him. Time to see the bigger picture and realize you’ve been getting the shorter end of the stick. Llike any red-blooded lady, if you’re going to be stuck with any side of the a stick, you need it big. Don’t settle.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

When it comes to friends, it makes life a lot easier when they’re enablers. This week, when life brings a new batch of weirdos to court you, feel free to call in the peanut gallery to get their assessments. Chances are they’ll find just the right way to paint a fun and enticing picture. After all, if your love life can’t be rewarding, it should at least be entertaining.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

New loves are not your old ones. Sure, the past matters in building your future, but when you short-circuit and hold someone new accountable for past sins of a prior relationship, that’s called head-tripping. Resolve your issues before getting in too deep with another. The emotional luggage you’re carrying is a cross too heavy to bear for you and any other trying to get near.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Your idealism will be percolating with all sorts of grand visions of your holidays, which can be a source of great inspiration or damnation, depending on the expectations you place on those around you. However, chances improve if you use your expansive imagination, as it seems those around you won’t be on par with your agenda.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Midweek, there’ll be a blip of something that could be remotely romantic in your life, but otherwise this isn’t the perfect moment for love. Surprisingly enough, you won’t care, as you’ll be far too consumed with work and trying to get all those errands done on time to be free enough to enjoy getting properly sloshed and sexed during the holidays.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Secrets are going to pour out, and skeletons in closets that you didn’t think you had will blindside you. Thankfully, this will come just in time to show you that your latest catch isn’t as dull as you had assumed and actually has some edge. Now, with gossip and drama back at your disposable, you’ll be feeling in your element once again.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Finally, you’ll feel as if the universe has some sympathy for you, as that contentious side of your honey will subside and be willing to call a truce long enough to discuss compromise. However, just because he’s talking the right words, until he backs it up with action, don’t sigh that breath of relief quite yet.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

People can badger you all they want and you can ignore them — but when your boo starts throwing his two cents in on the way you should be living, that’s when you have to break out the diva speeches and tell him to stop projecting his crap onto you. While there might be some truth in his accusations, there are other, less rude ways to nag, without killing your holiday buzz.

What A Craigslist Ad Teaches Us About Relationships

Forget self-help books and magazine columns. For dating and relationship advice, I recommend Craigslist. Don’t believe me? Yesterday, I was perusing the New York City section of the site, hoping someone might be unloading a pair of Veronica slouch Frye boots in a size 7, preferably barely used, and hopefully well under the $328 they retail for, when I came across the following ad. The subject header: “Mens clothes, My ex’s xmas gifts he’ll never get, It’s a steal.”

Keep reading »

Relationship Novice: Moving (Your Stuff) In

When you first start dating someone, it usually involves a lot of eating, drinking, and late-night book reading sessions. At the end of all those dates, you normally decide whose place to go to. If you’re like me, and have a roommate (and a railroad apartment), you end up staying at his place. But, after about a dozen times staying over, you realize that the new “bedhead” look you’re sporting to work isn’t looking so hot. Plus, there’s only so many ways you can wear his dress-shirts. (Preppy Wednesday and Friday?)

There comes a point where you aren’t ready to move in yet, but you want to make your stays over there as effortless as possible. Using your boyfriend’s toothbrush and shave gel is romantic for awhile, but if your legs are dry and your teeth are crying for home, it’s time to set up shop. So when do you start making his place your home away from home? Keep reading »

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