Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dealbreaker: Horrendous Tattoos

I’ll admit it, I think tattoos are dead sexy. There is no better conversation starter than that little sliver of ink peeking out from under a shirt sleeve or some surprise artwork on a half-naked dude, but like many women I’m less inclined to get all hot and bothered when the ink in question is, say, a thicket of barbed wire or that little dragon from Mariokart. Keep reading »

For The Week Of February 2-8, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You can’t be everything to everybody and even if you could, would you really want to? No. People are ungrateful and you’d be wasting your time. For now, this is the slogan and this is the reason why you need to put those efforts back into yourself. Work up a sweat at the gym, as it’ll be the best and only place you’ll see results

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

If you want to get what you want, you’re going to have to get pushy—but not in the obvious way. This means moving ahead of your competition or who ever is bugging the hell out of you, to put them in their place. Yes, this week will launch a bit of a soap opera theme to your life, but whatever, at least you’ll know you’re the star.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Sunlight deficiency is a bitch, especially when it comes to a nocturnal creature like you. Although you’ll be feeling less motivated to get out and about, this will be your time to make a concerted effort to start switching up your routines and trying out new habits, as being a vegetable right now is the biggest curse you can place on yourself.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your mind will be racing along at twice the speed and this will mean coming up with many hair-brained schemes. Whatever bizarre ideas you dream of, explore it. You’ll be way ahead of yourself and with this energy; it’ll put you in prime position to magnetize a few odd, but worthy, options.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Time to bust out the new man on your friends. Enough of trying to sort out the picture alone — what fun is that? You need a few trusted opinions to seal the deal. Chances are if you take the plunge now, things will fall into place easier — as in scheduling one big meet and greet, rather than sporadic one-on-ones that’ll only breed a chain of preconceived notions.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

When it comes to all matters of power and love, this is when you’re going to be able to take the reins and call the shots as you see them. However, be clear about stating your case, as in not wasting time barking up the wrong tree because once you start setting the demands, it won’t take too long to see who is with you or who isn’t.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

When you love, there is no holding you back. You give all of yourself and want to get the same indulged feeling back. This week, go all out on taking it in, because the love will be there for you. In fact, the more you get lost in it, the higher your creativity will soar and the more you will feel in your element. The catch, this source might need to stay secret for now.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

If you want anything done this week, you’re going to have to get into the trenches and work it yourself. Sure, friends are there to help, kind of, but they’ll be more focused on their own agenda than being able to do exactly as you say — so don’t rely too much on their advice or favors. This week, seize and conquer on your own.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your patience runs thin and there’ll be no more making excuses for having your kindness exploited. Time to stop it dead in its tracks, come to grips that you are not at your best and rectify the situation. This will mean some big changes, but really, making a decision is the hardest step to make. From there, hire movers to do the rest.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

A feeling of wanderlust is going to hit and removing yourself from your current environment in any way will do wonders for raising your chances at a spiritual catharsis that can set your world straight. If no such opportunity arises, then it’ll be up to you to make it happen. If this means finding yourself a foreign sex partner for the week, that’ll also do.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Take a deep breath and take one day at a time. Seems you will be your own worst enemy this week, as your ability to create paranoias and think up insane scenarios will be at peak levels. The odd thing about it though, it will give you a lot more energy to run from your demons, which can turn out just right if you happen to be darting off in the right direction.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Watch out for a tumultuous turn in your love affairs, as your honey will be feeling way more agitated and you’ll seem to rub each other in all the wrong ways. However, a little tension won’t kill anything, but if you take the high route and use it for good, it can be just the way to reignite the sparks back into the boudoir to put you back in sync, at least sexually speaking.

The Obamas Are Bringing Sexy Back To Marriage

I’m a big fan of the old “Thin Man” movies from the 30′s and ’40′s. If you haven’t seen them, they’re about Nick Charles, a wry and debonair detective who enjoys martinis, solving convoluted murder plots, and spending time with his lanky wife Nora. I can take or leave the murder mystery element of the films; what I really love are Nick and Nora as a couple. They have a certain rapport that you don’t see between a man and a woman in too many movies, past or present. Nora isn’t just standing around breathlessly, waiting to be taken care of, nor is she rolling her eyes at Nick’s antics, waiting for him to hurry up and grow up. They tease each other, are interested in each other, seem attracted to each other, and occasionally like to get soused together. Who (apart from teetotalers) wouldn’t like to have this type of relationship with his or her partner? I watched a DVD extra on “The Thin Man” after I bought the box set and a commenter put it perfectly into words: “‘The Thin Man’ made marriage look sexy.’” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Damnit, I Need A Man

When I was in college I bought my first car. The first car I actually owned was a hand-me-down from my parents (a 1988 Nissan Stanza to be exact, not exactly a pimp ride), but its life ended my senior year and I needed a replacement. At the time I was in a bit of an extended fight with my dad and we weren’t speaking at all. So when it came time to buy my car, I had to rely on my limited knowledge of automobiles in order to get the best deal on a used car that would see me through graduation. Normally, this was a task that I would have heaped on my dad’s shoulders; after all, Dads are the people you turn to in times of vehicular crisis. Mine wasn’t there, so I went alone. What did I end up with? A 1993 Volkswagen Jetta. With 250,000 miles already on it. But it was teal! And the guy who sold it to me was 18 and tan!

Needless to say, it was one of the more traditionally “girly” decisions of my life and I paid for it. The car had major clutch problems within months and just BARELY made it through the year. When it came to buying a car, I needed a man’s help. As sexist and as backwards as that may sound, I need one now too. Keep reading »

Real Chick Lit: “What Was I Thinking? 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories”

In my opinion, if you’re over 25 and don’t have at least one “bad boyfriend” story, something’s wrong with you. Mine, who I dated right around 23, was a totally self-absorbed, not particularly cute, questionably gay co-worker who was occasionally kind to me, yet more often a serious ass, bringing that annoying Katy Perry “Hot ‘N Cold” song to life. Seriously, I could spend weeks posting insane accounts of his jerk-tastic behavior or the emails my friends sent me pleading that I please, for the love of God, cut him loose. Because I probably spent more money on Kleenex than rent during the tenure of our relationship, looking back, I want to smack young, immature me for putting up with his nonsense for so long. What kind of self-assured woman lets a dude treat her like dirt? I did, but, believe it or not, I’m glad he’s included in my relationship Rolodex. Had I not dated Mr. Not-So-Incredible, I never would have been able to fully appreciate the warmth, kindness, generosity and – gasp! – maturity of Mr. Truly Incredible, who I later married. Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: I’m Dating A Crazy Libra!

I’m a strong Aquarius and my partner is a Libra. She and I started out as friends; we met through a drama club and a community service club. She would flirt with me and I would flirt back — at the time, I had no idea that I was a lesbian. We quickly became very sexual-hump buddies and then I kissed her in the heat of the moment. Three months later we started having sexy-time-escapades. Then she said she actually liked me; I hesitated, but I said I liked her too. So, we’ve been dating for about two years now, but I still have a desire to be free.

She can be very controlling and manipulating. I’ve wanted to break up with her, but she threatens to kill herself. Recently, I decided that I would break up with her because I am about to go to college and I really want a clean, focused state of mind upon entering college — but I can’t do it. I just don’t know what to do about this situation and in my opinion it is getting out of control. The first time she gave me oral sex we got in a HUGE fight right before — I regret that so much. Basically, our relationship is based on sexual desire with a hint of friendship. She is all about being out about being gay and letting everyone know, but I don’t like that idea. I just don’t know what to do. – Ms. Aqua Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How NOT To Get Played

The biggest, baddest, most terrifying part of falling in love is opening up and letting yourself be vulnerable. When it works, love can seem like the stuff of fairytales: you meet someone, you get to know and like each other, you enter into a mutually trusting and respectful relationship, you fall deeply, madly, hopelessly in love, and you live happily ever after.

At least, for a while. Keep reading »

Would You Pay For Love In A Recession?

Banks are foreclosing on houses. Jobs are being outsourced. Popular retail stores are shutting down. Magazines like Domino are folding. Despite the economy being pretty much in the crapper, romance is on the rise. Popular online dating sites like and eHarmony are seeing a spike in the number of people signing up looking for love; saw its biggest membership growth in seven years in November, and registrations increased 20 percent in 2008. Yes, it seems people are dumping their change jars into Coinstar machines and flocking to online dating sites. But why would you pay for a gamble on love when the gas and electric people are sending you death threats? It boils down to one simple word… Keep reading »

Friend Custody: Who Gets Whom After A Breakup?

One of the things I love about being in a relationship is that my friend circle multiplies. But what happens to those newly formed friendships when the relationship ends? For example, recently two of my friends who were in a couple broke up and it’s been awkward ever since. Where we used to all go out together once or twice a month, now I have to split time between them, and I have the nagging feeling that I’m cheating when I hang out with one and not the other. After driving myself crazy for a few weeks (Do I talk about or avoid the subject? Partake in talk about the ex or awkwardly change the subject when it comes up?), I sought some advice on dealing with the joint-friends breakup — who keeps whom? And does it really have to come down to that? Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: Should Women Use Sex As A Power Tool In Relationships?

This past week on VH1′s “Tool Academy,” the dudes were taught humility by admitting their deepest fears about their relationships and prancing around in tutus. However, their girlfriends have been trying to put them in their place since the season began by withholding sex. Granted, none of those bros deserve a piece of their girl’s promise land, since they’ve been complete bastards, but if these ladies are willing to stand by their jerky boyfriends while they man up, what’s the point of not having sexy times?! It simply turns sex into a control issue. However, these “Tool”-ettes are not alone in their belief that keeping their legs closed for business will bring about a positive change in their love life. The question is, does denying what you both need — sex — get you what you want — a good relationship?

Keep reading »

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