Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dear Wendy: “I Got Sick And My Friends Abandoned Me”

I’m 25 and earlier this year I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that I’ve yet to really get a handle on. It’s been very emotional for me to say the least, and to top it off I feel like I’ve been somewhat abandoned by my friends. The thing is, I know they’re all lovely people — it just seems like they get uncomfortable/unsure of what to say when I talk about my illness, so they think it’s best not to mention it at all or something. I’ve expressed to a few of them that it’s helpful for me to just be able to get the feelings off my chest once in a while, yet no one really seems to be making much of an effort to hear about it. I hate to be a Negative Nancy and certainly don’t want to talk about my illness all the time … I just want to know that my friends care. Am I going about this the wrong way? Is this not the type of thing that friends talk to each other about these days? My mom and boyfriend seem to think I should stop trying to get support on this from friends, but I don’t want to lean on them alone. — Not-So-Positive Pollyanna

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Couple Falls In Love While Married To Other People, Expects World To Be Happy For Them

Well, Sunday’s New York Times’ wedding announcements sure were interesting. There was the couple that got engaged just 51 days after meeting on JDate. The bride who brought her two cats along as “chaperones” on an early date with her now-husband. And then there was the highlight of the section, the couple that fell in love when they were both married to other people. Scandalous! Keep reading »

Dater X: Shaking Off The Pressure To Kiss Someone On New Year’s Eve

Last night, while out to dinner with friends, my phone rang—a rare occurrence in a world where phones are amazing for organizing schedules and arranging text messages into adorable dialogue bubbles, but aren’t so hot at providing a clear pathway for two people to talk. I recognized the area code immediately, though I had deleted the caller’s name in a huff a few days before—it was Scruffy Beard. I hadn’t heard from him in almost two weeks, since he sent me a lame “see you around” text the day after we had sex and he darted out the door 20 minutes after, throwing the condom in the trash.

I resisted the urge to listen to his voicemail message all the way through dinner. But as I left the restaurant, I just had to know what he said. Keep reading »

What Are Your Christmas Traditions?

This year, for only the second time ever, I’ll be missing Christmas with my family. My parents live in Germany and my husband and I decided to save our vacation time and travel budget and stay home in New York this year. I’m definitely sad to be missing my family, especially since I saw them only a total of three days this whole year, but considering all the weather-related travel snafus in Europe right now, it’s probably for the best we decided to stay put. So, since this is my first-ever Christmas in NYC — and my first with just my husband and me — we’re thinking about new traditions we can start as our own little family unit. Since Drew, my husband, is Jewish, we’ll probably honor his tradition of Chinese food and a movie either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. And if I can get my act together, I’ll roast a chicken and make some trimmings for a nice dinner. Any other suggestions for making the holiday feel more festive? What kind of traditions do you and your family have? Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Let My Family’s Bigotry Ruin My Relationship?”

After several years of being contently single, I have met the most amazing man. He is smart, career driven, attentive, and we have a ton in common. While our relationship is new, and we aren’t rushing into anything, I feel that there is potential for something serious to develop. There’s just one problem — I’m white and he’s black, and while it doesn’t bother me in the least, my family is very conservative and they don’t believe in interracial dating. I am from a small town in a southern state and interracial dating is fairly uncommon here, and there are still prejudices about such things. I know that my family would adore him as much as I do if they could only look past his skin color and see him for the amazing person he is. The problem is that I don’t think that they will ever be able to do that. I feel torn between pursuing a relationship which I think could be serious, and pleasing my family. There is a possibility that some members of my family will never speak to me again, but I’m afraid that if I don’t give him a chance I may always wonder what could’ve been. I know that it’s a little early in the game for me to be thinking of choosing between a man and my family, but I am stressed out thinking about how to break the news to them. I could use any advice about how to tell them or how to know if a relationship is worth disappointing my family. — Stressed Out and Color Blind

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Girl Talk: I Want An Arranged Marriage

Indian weddings are beautiful. I missed my sister’s by just a few days. I couldn’t make up my mind whether to join her and her Canadian boyfriend in Goa, where I could complete my yoga training certificate in a country where men significantly outnumber women, or to stay home in the Brooklyn apartment I shared with four equally unemployed strangers, and where I was without a car, a boyfriend, or a shred of hope. I had to weigh my options, so I was a bit delayed.

That’s how I missed Leky’s lavish Hindu puja ceremony, where she wed a guy she had actually met years ago at a Buddhist monastery, and who she had run into again by chance half a decade later while she was tooling around India.

Their love is a beautiful story. Mine, not so much. Keep reading »

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