Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dating Don’ts: Seven Ways To Fire Someone From Your Life

How many people do you know who’ve been downsized? Terminated? Let go? Fired? However you word it, the result is the same: Bummer, dude! According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 4.1 million people have lost their jobs in the last year alone. (The current total is about 11.6 million.)

To add insult to financial injury, some of these firings are handled horribly. Workers report being locked out of their offices, escorted out by security guards, or being replaced by less-experienced (cheaper) employees. Frequently, those lucky enough to hang onto their jobs are asked to take on more work for less dough.

It got me thinking about how similar firing someone from their job is to firing someone from your life. So, I took a gander through a bunch of employment guides and found some resources that could prove useful in your romantic life.
Keep reading »

Sex & The Show-Me State: Dating A Dad

For months I watched women swoon over “The Bachelor,” Jason Mesnick, a divorced single father, and I just couldn’t understand why. The whole thing was cute, sure, but didn’t these ladies get that people with kids have different priorities than those of us who have yet to procreate?

“Wow!” was all I could muster, followed by, “I think you’re the first person I’ve ever been on a date with who’s been married. But it’s not like you have kids, right?”

”When I went to see some live music last week, I found myself more into a bartender than the band. He had a beard, black-framed glasses and a mess of curly hair tucked up into a stocking cap—exactly my type. But every time I tried to order from him, another bartender would intercept. While my ill-fated attempt at conversation resulted in a few too many trips to the bar, I at least worked up enough liquid courage to give him my number … sort of. I scribbled “You, with the hat” alongside my name and number on a piece of paper, and left it by the tip jar on my way out. A few days later he called and the next night we were exchanging shy smiles and embarrassing stories over whiskey on the rocks.

I was smitten. He was cute, smart and much nicer than I expected (in my experience, his look is favored by grumbly hipsters). He played in a local alt-country band and paid for my drinks. Little did I know, he was building up some liquid courage of his own.

“I should tell you something,” he said halfway through our third round. “I’ve been married before.”

“Wow!” was all I could muster, followed by, “I think you’re the first person I’ve ever been on a date with who’s been married. But it’s not like you have kids, right?”

“Well, that’s what I was getting at. I have two. I figured I should probably just get that out of the way now.”

He explained that when he was 19, he married his high school girlfriend after she got pregnant. They had two kids and divorced a few years later. He now has his son and daughter every other weekend and attends all of their school functions. In fact, his relationship with his kids sounded a lot like the one my sister and I had with our father.

After I got over the initial shock, I was surprised at how much it didn’t matter to me. Had my bearded bartender told me he had kids before we went out, I would have found a reason to cancel. But I already liked him and the fact that he had two munchkins around every other weekend wasn’t going to keep me from having fun with him that night, or the next time we went out. Plus, given my success rate with dating, I figured it was too early to worry about something that wouldn’t affect me unless we were to get serious.

I ultimately had to face the fact that as I get older—and, well, do things like move to the Midwest—the chances of dating men who have already been married or have children are going to increase, which isn’t necessarily all bad. I knew on the first date that I wasn’t wasting my time with someone who couldn’t deal with life or handle responsibility. And that’s more than I can say for most of the men I’ve dated.

Is Our Facebook Romance Real?

The guy I lost my virginity to found me on Facebook a few months ago. I opened my inbox to read, “Is this Teri? If so, hit me back.” It was an absurdly casual message, as if he had no idea I associated him with puking from anesthesia in the parking lot of an abortion clinic. The shock I felt when I saw the name Jeffery* in my inbox is a testament to how successful I had been at forgetting everything that happened between us. Keep reading »

No One And Nothing Beats A Web Connection

German twenty-somethings would give up their spouse or car if they had to choose between them or an Internet connection or a mobile phone, according to a study conducted by German broadband association Bitkom. About 84 percent of a thousand respondents aged 19 to 29 said they would do without their current partner or car rather than relinquish their connection to the web. Living without a cell phone was also out of the question for 97 percent of the people surveyed. However, Bitkom president August-Wilhelm Scheer said that the findings don’t mean that “the Web is an anonymous medium that leads to social indifference.” Half of the respondents said they had made a new friend on a chat forum or web community. And 8 percent had found love on the Internet. [Reuters]

Would you dump your guy or automobile if it meant you could keep your web connection? What else would you be willing to give up? Let us know in the comments. Keep reading »

Love Vandal: Past Tense

Sometimes, people send us mean letters. But we get nice ones, too! The photo above and note below came from “a fireman in a city that you’ve heard of”:

Sometimes our job takes us to some interesting places. Last week, I found myself 25 stories high, on the roof of an 80-year-old hotel. I saw this graffiti and thought of you guys. How did the artist get here? (The roof was virtually inaccessible). What happened to make him stop loving her? There was other graffiti there, the usual stuff — misspelled obscenities and accusations of coworkers’ sexual leanings, but this piece definitely stood out. Hope you find the picture useful, and thanks for making such an interesting website. — some guy who reads your blog every now and then

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com. Keep reading »

Papa Bach, Engagement Take-Backs & Cowards

Last night’s episode of “The Bachelor,” and more specifically, the “After The Final Rose” special, hit close to home. After all, I was engaged, and then overnight my fiance decided he needed to go on a break, which was really him dumping me without saying so and looking like the bad guy, and I was never given the chance to fight for our relationship. It’s all good now, seriously. After much therapy and tears and internal reflection, I am doing just dandy and have definitely realized that our breakup was for the best. I suspect Melissa will come to realize this too, if she hasn’t already, and I’m sure everyone in her life is going to say things to her like, “Better now then after the wedding! Better now then after you have kids! Better now!” which is what everyone still says to me. And it’s true. YES, better now. But still, the fact that my ex, and Jason, made a decision that ultimately is better for the other person involved, doesn’t take away from the fact that they are selfish, immature, somewhat prickish d-bags. The fact that it’s better in the end for me, and for Melissa, is just luck and coincidence. It’s not a good deed. Neither wins a medal. End results matter, sure, but so does intent. Keep reading »

Sharing A Bed With Your Ex

“You’re doing what?”

I heard that a lot in the spring of 2007, whenever I explained to friends that I had broken up with my Nathan, boyfriend of four years, yet we were still living together in the apartment we’d shared for the last two. It was a temporary matter, I’d say, a situation that would last about a month or two, until we found our own places. Keep reading »

First Time For Everything: Hot For Teacher

It began with my high school English teacher. I was 15 and shy; he was 30 and moonlighted as a poet. He also cursed in class, horsed around with his students, and (despite his age) still had jet black hair. I got nervous and sweaty whenever we interacted, and my childish crush raged until high school ended. I visited him while I was home for winter break, but when he mispronounced my name and forgot which university I attended, my puppy love subsided. Keep reading »

For The Week Of March 1-7, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

If you hear something that doesn’t sit right with you and you’re feeling like you’re being lead into the wrong direction, pay attention. Your intuition will be on and if you trust it, it’ll save you from a pending disaster. Stop thinking you have to make any more excuses to get by, because there is no more time to waste.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Forget trying to get on the same page as your partner. Emotional unrest is going to be a part of the week, as the past will come back to haunt. Feel free to take that jaunt down memory lane, if you are indeed the one to get that calling, as this is the time to exorcise those demons once and for all. If it is him, just sit back and let things happen as they will, things will fall back into place.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

A monkey wrench is going to be thrown into your routine, causing all sorts of delays and tipping off a few bizarre psychological hang-ups and even uncovering a few you didn’t know. To say the least, it’s a week of startling revelations of discovering you aren’t as brazen as you come across and that your tender side speaks way louder to the one that matters.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Just as you go cruising along, living on the crest of this wave of happiness, down comes reality and washes it all away. Not to say what’s left behind is bad, just tougher to deal with than what you’ve acclimated yourself too. Yes, the honeymoon is over and now it’s time to start dealing with the important stuff — your ego.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

When it comes to changing anything up in your home life, don’t. Making impetuous decisions won’t be in your favor. Best to consider options and make sure when you are acting out of determination, not desperation. If you must do anything, move important tasks onto other territory, as it’s fine to do other things, like taking a vacation or a spa day.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Any last minute info you hear, ignore it. While news may shake you up, most of the time it’ll be a false alarm. Panic is just part of this phase, but with no real outcome. Think of it as the universe testing your preparations for emergencies, as thinking fast on your feet is skill you’re going to have to hone to be able to get you off of them in the near future.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Slowly, sluggishness will creep into your brain, but don’t let it kill your motivation on long-term goals. While there’ll be some second-guessing going on, approach it as reworking, rather than demolishing. As you should know you are an extreme lady, but not everything is always so black and white, so this week, consider those grays.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

With love, you can’t always know immediately if you’ve made the right choice. This week though, payback starts to come around and gives you peace of mind you haven’t had in ages. Lucky are you to see the one you once would of pledged your heart unconditionally to turn out to be such a loser — karmic satisfaction 100% guaranteed.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Life happens in cycles and if you’ve been feeling as if you are on a never-ending treadmill of tedium and angst, things are finally going to switch — however, into reverse, so hold on tight. This means the universe is going to open up Pandora’s Box in some way and throw a little craziness into the mix, which can make you appreciate the finer points of boredom.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Love or another meaningless fling is your perfect escape, as aggravation with friends will be the culprit of your duress. They’ll irritate to the point of wanting to erase all your contact info and start anew. While you’ll have reason to feel this way, it doesn’t mean you’re perfect either. There is always a cause to every effect and to think your best on this matter, it’ll require a little sweat.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You may want to rethink your sense of entitlement, because what you think you deserve isn’t even the prize that is up for grabs. A dose of humility will do wonders for you over the next several weeks, as you start seeing the path you are heading on isn’t the one you thought it might be — not to say it’s bad, just different.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Despite all the efforts you’ve put into helping another live a happier and more productive life; gratitude will be a rare commodity. While you can’t teach class to everyone, you can sympathize that they’ll never be as perfect as you and then rethink the extent of what you are giving. To be where you truly want to be, it means directing things on a two-way street.

10 Reasons Why The Recession Is Good For Your Love Life

The drastic front page financial news is certainly a downer. As layoffs sweep the nation and more homes are foreclosed, tensions are running higher than CEO bonuses. But it’s not all gloom and doom out there — lots of Americans are saying that the recent economic downturn is affecting their romantic relationships in a positive way.

Take it from them — after the jump are 10 reasons why the recession is actually good for your love life… Keep reading »

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