Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Girl Talk: Facebook Ruined My First Love

Facebook is really great for reconnecting with old friends and finding out what your buddies are up to. What it is also great for: shattering every illusion you ever had about your first love–just like it did for me this weekend.

I first spotted Jeremy when I was a sixth grade student at a public magnet school in Fort Worth, Texas. He looked exactly like Jay Underwood, the guy who played Tia’s loser boyfriend Bug in “Uncle Buck,” which is to say that he was incredibly hot. I never spoke to him — NEVER — but I rode the hour each way to school with him every day. And, it turned out, his mom was my English teacher. She was firm, but friendly — and she was my only link to the strange but beautiful creature that was her son. Sometimes I would stick around after class to see if he would stop by.

I never spoke to Jeremy, until the very last day I lived in Texas. My dad is a nuclear engineer, and growing up we moved a round a lot — from nuclear power plant to nuclear power plant. I used to joke that we were the modern-day Joads (a joke that only works if you are a Grapes of Wrath fan). We were moving from Ft. Worth to New Jersey, and I finally worked up the courage to tell Jeremy how I felt. I wrote him a letter telling him how interesting and unique I thought he was. I told him I was moving but that I’d like to write letters to him, if he wanted. I slipped the notebook paper to him as I was getting off the bus on my final interminable ride home. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Scared To Say ‘I Love You’”

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a while now, and quite a few times in the past few months (especially recently) he’s told me that he loves me or is in love with me. Every time I’m with him my thoughts are screaming “I love you!” and I want to say it, and I’ve tried, but my head can never tell my mouth what to say, which leaves me wondering if I do indeed love him. When I’m with him, everything is finally okay, but when we’re apart, I don’t feel exactly right. I’m willing to do anything to see him happy, even if it means bending over backwards, which I’ve done, and I’ve sacrificed my own happiness for him a few times (he was unaware of it though) just to help things work for him. Twenty years from now, I want more than anything for him to be happy and with the love of his life, but sometimes I don’t think I’m her. There are times when I feel like we’re great now, but not necessarily forever, and that leaves me wondering if I really love him. What does it mean to you to be in love? If you’re in love does it mean that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, or can it simply be something just for now? And also, how do I go about telling my boyfriend that I love him, when every time I’ve wanted to and tried, I’ve failed? I feel like I can’t rely on myself to say a simple “I love you” so are there other ways to do it, while keeping it incredibly romantic and memorable? — Love Shy

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OK Cupid Says Being Uglier Actually Makes You More Attractive

OK Cupid has attempted to decode the algorithm of the male lizard brain. Using women on the site as data, they demystified female beauty in the eye of the male beholder. Well kind of … beauty being defined in this case as getting the most messages. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I May Be Single, But I Am Not Alone

I’ve always been kind of a loner. While I’m silly and funny and irreverent with one or two people, I clam up in social settings and in groups. I think this is why I’m a good interviewer: I focus very intently and intensely on one person. More specifically, I need a lot of time in my own head to think. The two activities that I love the most — writing and reading — both require being alone. As with anything, I’m sure I came to be like this with some combination of nurture and nature. I am the youngest of five kids, so I learned as a child to be in the physical presence of other people but still do my own thing. But my parents were pretty preoccupied with stuff going on in my brother’s life from the time that I was 14 years old onward, so I also learned how to be independent. Keep reading »

Poll: What Do You Remember Better — Your First Kiss Or Losing Your Virginity?

What Do You Remember Better -- Your First Kiss Or Losing Your Virginity?

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How I Knew He Wasn’t The One

Definitely NOT The One
25 signs "The One" ain't him... Read More »
The Do-Not-Date List
Guys you should avoid at all costs! Read More »
Not The One
Four signs he's not the guy for you. Read More »

In the latest issue of Glamour, there’s this really interesting feature called “How I Knew” which features short little essays by men on “how they knew” certain things: “How I Knew I Really Would Marry Her,” “How I Knew I Was Going To Cheat,” etc. My favorite of the bunch was “How I Knew She Wasn’t The One,” in which writer Adam Sternbergh rather humorously describes how he knew various women weren’t “the one” until he finally did meet the one who was. Now, I’m not really a big believer in “the one,” so to speak, as I think we all have lots of of ones, but I am a big believer that we have even more people in our lives who were NOT the one and we can usually pinpoint one particular moment when that became clear. So, in the vein of Sternbergh’s essay for Glamour, here’s my own “How I Knew He Wasn’t The One.”
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