Pisces (February 20-March 20): People are going to piss you off this week. Besides making you feel left out of plans, there are going to be stupid secrets passed around like you’re still in 2nd grade. Even so, kids that young would know better than to power trip like a few around you will choose to do. Of course, killing them with kindness is the ideal reaction, but don’t hate yourself if you snap once or twice.
Best Day To Get Lucky: Saturday, March 1 Keep reading »
In our recent Break Up With Your Ex survey, 51 percent of you said you can’t truly be friends with an ex. And there’s a good reason, why too. Thirty-eight percent said the biggest impediment is that they’re still in love and can’t let go. I can’t say I agree that creating a clean slate is right for everyone. Read why on Your Tango…
There is no job so interesting that you cannot tell a boring story about it. Here are some things that will help you bore the hell out of people when you talk about work. Read all six on Cracked…
Whether you’re hitting the bars or going the online dating route, meeting the right guy and building a relationship can be a very, very difficult task. Sure, it should be easy when you’re in college and there are thousands of guys milling around. But it’s not. Why? Because some guys (most guys?!) are just undateable. Read more on College Candy…
“Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Sept. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit.” – Reno Gazette-Journal
How could anyone write a scathing and public obituary showing such distain for a parent? For me, it was a natural “normal” process for ending and celebrating the death of someone who camouflaged themselves as a mother.
There are no words or expressions to adequately describe the sense of freedom I felt upon a phone call from my brother singing “Ding Dong, the witch is dead.” Keep reading »
Even if you’re generally a very “together” person, that doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to the occasional freak out, because LIFE. Maybe your hot water broke again right before work and you haven’t washed your hair for a few too many days. Maybe a friend had the bad sense to point out that really cute picture of your ex and his new lady on Instagram. Of course, it’s important to figure your major triggers so you can avoid any unnecessary emotional meltdowns, but sometimes things are out of your control. That’s why it’s just as important to figure out some ways to calm yourself down when life doesn’t go your way, because lord knows, there will be times when you need to curl into a ball with your hot water bottle and cry until you feel silly. Here are our approved self-soothing techniques that have helped us through panic attacks, meltdowns, and freak outs of all kinds.
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This week on Date-Ade, the advice series for all your existential dating dilemmas, I address the issue loving someone, but hating the way they chew.
If you have a sex, dating or relationship quandary that you’d like for me to try to unravel (no promises), send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @TheFrisky#DateAde.
The Internet loves hating on “the friend zone,” because the Internet sees friendship as the highest form of torture. I’m not here to explain that “being in the friend zone” says less about the person who “put” you there than it does about the skewed way you view relationships (although, yes, someone should teach you that at some point). I am here to tell you that you’re focusing so much energy on avoiding the friend zone that you’re missing the REAL threats. Educate yourself on the five other relationship zones of torture…
Today in strange dating surveys that someone commissioned to promote an app: “dream dates” and imaginary beverage orders. Huh? Yes, exactly. What exactly qualifies a “dream date?” I’m not sure because it’s not specified. And who’s put thought into what their “dream man” or “dream woman” will be drinking? Not I. But if you have, no shame. Maybe you’re just more imaginative than me. According to a survey of 1,000 singles conducted by Wist, an app that makes personalized food and drink recommendations (huzzah!), a lot of daters have spent time considering what beverage their “dream person” would order on their imaginary first date. I’m personally partial to ordering water on a first date like Steve and Linda did in “Singles,” but sadly,the daters surveyed didn’t seem to share my enthusiasm for H2o. Find out what you are hypothetically supposed to drinking when that imaginary person you’ve never met spots you in the corner of a dark bar and finds your drink incredibly sexy… Keep reading »
Is there anything funnier (sad-funny, I mean) than bigots who are completely incredulous about the fact that they are bigots? They are so unwilling to admit it. They usually have some other excuse — which only makes sense to them — about “disagreeing with lifestyle choices,” “some of my best friends are ___,” “sexism/racism/homophobia doesn’t really exist” or “love the sinner, hate the sin.” The moral/intellectual contortions are truly something to behold.
A perfect example would Unhappy In Tampa, a woman who wrote to the advice columnist Dear Abby to complain about how their not-asshole neighbors are now socially excluding Unhappy In Tampa and her husband. Oh no! That is horrible! Why would these mean neighbors do such a thing? Because Unhappy In Tampa and her husband refused to invite their gay and lesbian neighbors to their parties:
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors’ social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay — one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots! Keep reading »