Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Oh Thank Goodness, “The Talk” Is Getting Less Awkward For Both Parents And Children

I was glad that my mom and I had exactly the same feelings on having “The Talk”: neither of us wanted to do it, and we were glad that it was over so quickly. I was 11-ish or 12-ish, and my mom casually asked, “We haven’t had The Talk yet, have we?” And I said, “I don’t need to, I know how it works. It’s on TV and in movies.” So she said, “OK, how does it work?” I made my left thumb and forefinger into a circle and jabbed my right index finger into the middle once or twice. My sister Sara laughed.

“That’s not really all we’re supposed to talk about,” my mom said. Keep reading »

Dater XY: The Post-Sex Guilt Date

Dater XY: The Post-Sex Guilt Date

A woman I’ll call The Chewer (it’ll make sense soon) and I first messaged each other shortly after things ended with The Teacher over a two months ago. We hit it off as she was about to relocate to my town, and had attended the same university. We decided to meet for drinks after she finally moved up and got settled in. Before we got to that point though, I started going out with a few other women and wanted to see where these potential relationships went. I messaged The Chewer and she thanked me for my honesty and I went about my way.

As it turned out, most of these dates were ho-hum and never amounted to much of anything. I did briefly hit it off with The Marathoner but that ended as quickly as it started. So, my schedule suddenly freed up, I decided to message The Chewer to see if she was still interested in getting a drink. She was so we planned to meet after work two weeks ago (shortly before I went out with The Lawyer). Keep reading »

Dater X: “Can I Ask You A Serious Question?”

Dater X: "Can I Ask You A Serious Question?"

Life is full of surprises: maybe you get pregnant without trying, win the lottery, find faith or cheat death. Other times, it’s the small, simple unexpectancies (I’m aware that “unexpectancies” isn’t a real word, but it should be) that make all the difference. Over the last few weeks, Baby Face has been my pleasant “unexpectancy.”

Having reconnected after five (or is it six?) years without a trace of contact, Baby Face and I have been spending a lot of time catching up, becoming reacquainted and starting back at square one. A lot has changed since our reckless beer-funneling college days, and not just because we’ve graduated to fancy craft beer and real glassware. Back in the day, Baby Face and I were friends, but we were never confess-your-deepest-secrets, share-your-embarrassing-stories kinds of friends. Last week, I was able to see Baby Face twice—once for lunch in the city and once for dinner and drinks at my place, where we were able to really talk and get to know each other, sweatpants on, makeup off and all. Keep reading »

Finding A Tattoo Artist After Trauma

A few months ago, one of my friends posted on Facebook that he was looking for a new tattoo shop that was woman-friendly and queer-friendly after a bad experience with his last artist. I asked him privately who the artist was who he’d had a bad experience with and he gave me the guy’s name and the tattoo shop he worked at. “He’s quiet and nice in person, but when I friended him on Facebook I found out he’s anti-choice, anti-gay, racist, misogynist, and pro-gun. After he defended the Hobby Lobby decision I decided I can’t ignore his politics anymore.”

I told him I could relate: I had gone to one artist who had done fantastic work, but when I friended him on Facebook I found out that he had dressed in redface to be the Blackhawks mascot for Halloween and was just throwing out people’s criticisms wholesale and telling them to unfriend him instead. More recently, I’d gotten beautiful work done at a different shop that had done similarly great work for my friends, but when I went back to look into getting knuckle tattoos, the artist had thrown out my few guidelines — I didn’t want the tattoo to be black, and I wanted it to be pretty without being too feminine. He insisted that it had to be black and block lettering or it’d take away from the “impact” of the tattoos. I had asked for what I’d asked for because I already have black block letters on the insides of my fingers and I needed to differentiate, and because these are my hands. I want to love this tattoo for the rest of my life. He clearly didn’t care, so I canceled the appointment. Keep reading »

This Mandatory (And Sexist) Sex Ed Workshop Is Why Society Is Moving Backwards

This Mandatory (And Sexist) Sex Ed Workshop Is Why Society Is Moving Backwards

As a modern woman who values her reproductive rights and the education of sexual health, I’m ALL ABOUT today’s young folks taking sex ed classes— but not when they’re sexist, bigoted and alllll sorts of wrong.

A secondary school in Singapore, Hwa Chong Institution, held a mandatory sex education session recently sponsored by Focus on the Family, a Colorado Springs-based non-profit known for preaching abstinence and anti-gay rhetoric. One whistle-blower, a brave teen named Agatha Tan, was so appalled by the sexist and bigoted materials provided in the course that she wrote a thoughtful open letter to her principal complaining about the class, and posted it to Facebook. So why was she so appalled? Prepare to facepalm for days… Keep reading »

Tech Companies Want To Help Female Employees Freeze Their Eggs, But What We Really Need Is Better Paternity Leave

Apple and Facebook are going to start helping female employees cover the cost of freezing their eggs — some employees, anyway; Apple’s benefits vary depending on your position — so that those women don’t have to choose between having a family and working through some of the prime years of their careers.

This is great news for women who want to handle their careers and personal lives one-at-a-time and feel the pressure to sacrifice and compromise their careers in order to have children before they’re no longer fertile. It provides those employees with another option, some more flexibility, and that’s fantastic. But I’m not going crazy over it, especially in Apple’s case, because whereas Facebook also provides male employees with up to 17 weeks of paternity leave, Apple provides women with up to 18 weeks and men with up to six weeks of parental leave. Keep reading »

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