According to a new survey published in the Daily Mail, women are spending an awful lot of time planning their weddings…before they even have a groom lined up. Out of 600 single women polled, 60 percent admit that they already have their wedding planned — sometimes down to the details of the dress, the vows, the bridesmaids and the exact wedding date. In addition, the survey found that instead of worrying about first kisses, most girls are 100 steps ahead, thinking about various elements of her big day by the age of 13. Even more disturbing: 34 percent of pre-emptive wedding planners say they spending HOURS each day on Pinterest et al looking for inspiration for floral arrangements, the perfect updo, and a venue appropriate for group dances to “Jump On It.” Keep reading »
This week on Date-Ade, the advice series for all your existential dating dilemmas, I discuss how to get over a stubborn crush on a not-so-good-for-you co-worker
If you have a sex, dating or relationship quandary that you’d like for me to try to unravel (no promises), send your questions to email@example.com or tweet @TheFrisky#DateAde.
Growing up, I thought the perfect host was a combination of Betty Crocker and Donna Reed: perfect clothes, perfect hair, perfect food, and perfect personality all coming together to ensure her guests are well taken care of.
However, Steve Martin, a Republican State Senator from Virginia, has a different take on the what it means to be a good host. He recently received a Valentine’s Day Card from the Virginia Pro-Choice Coalition asking the state Senator to protect women’s reproductive health options — everything from raising healthy children to having access to safe, legal abortion. Martin took it upon himself to reply publicly via his Facebook page. His response originally included the following:
“…I don’t expect to be in the room or will I do anything to prevent you from obtaining a contraceptive. However, once a child does exist in your womb, I’m not going to assume a right to kill it just because the child’s host (some refer to them as mothers) doesn’t want it to remain alive.” Keep reading »
I’m confused about whether or not I should move in with my boyfriend of about a year. We are both in our twenties. For the past year, I’ve been living with roommates. During that time, he would frequently invite me over to his place, a house with a big yard, and then invite me to stay the night. He would do this almost every night and feel very happy about it, even proudly joking he had successfully “stolen” me from my roommates once again. He always talked about me moving in. Even when I tried to find other roommates, he would always insist I just move in with him.
But when my roommates moved out a month before the lease expired, his story changed. Now that it’s just me, he never “steals” me, and if I go to his place he is sure to bring me back to my place so we can sleep separately. Now he says he’d prefer for us both to have our own separate places. I can’t afford to live on my own in this city without roommates, plus I very much prefer to live with other people. Living alone feels unnatural, uncomfortable and unsafe to me.
My lease expires soon, and I wasn’t searching for other roommates very seriously as I was spending most of my time with him, and up until a few weeks ago, he was insisting I live with him. Why did he only want me when I was living with other people? What is going on in his head? I feel trapped. – S.
It boils down to this: there’s a difference between what people say, and what people do. Keep reading »
Frat-house accidents and sexual assaults are getting so common they’re impossible to ignore—but how did it get this bad, and why does it keep happening? In an extensive Atlantic piece, Caitlin Flanagan looks at the history of fraternities and their myriad ways of avoiding legal obligations for what goes on behind closed doors. Read more on Newser…
What to say, oh, what to say about an anonymous Thought Catalogue essay that starts, “From the beginning we knew our relationship looked like a cliché—perhaps plucked from a boring episode of ‘Mad Men.’ You, my 21-year-old millennial intern, me, your 30-something married boss with two kids”?
“To The Millennial I Left For My Wife (And 8 Parting Words Of Advice)” is a hate-read from the first line. Sadly, it only gets much, much more hate-able as it goes on. I don’t mean to spoil the surprise for you, but this wannabe modern day Don Draper leaves his wife and two kids for his millennial intern. They have a few great “magical” and “addictive” weeks together “dancing on the dock of a river” and stealing kisses in an elevator. But soon, everything goes to hell in a hand basket. Why? Oh, because “serious differences emerged from the shadows” and “common backgrounds also forged common problems.” God, I HATE when that happens. Keep reading »
It was a Tuesday afternoon and I was on my therapist’s couch. I described for her an incident over the weekend when I felt sad, deeply sad, for seemingly no reason at all. I had felt reclusive and shy and wanted to stay in my bed; when my husband encouraged me to go to a birthday party that night that I actually wanted to go to, I had started crying. I’m a sensitive person, sure, but even while I was crying I knew my tears didn’t make much sense.
I shared some other strange behavior changes lately. I’ve been more hungry than usual, more often and ravenously so. I get snappish when I can’t eat immediately (hangry, I believe, is the technical term). I’m usually pretty easygoing, but lately I’d been having random mood swings. I was beginning to feel embarrassed about my behavior.
“You’re emotional … your appetite has changed …,” she paused. “Have you considered that you might be pregnant?” Keep reading »
Now that I’ve been single for a couple of weeks, I’ve been upping my online dating game in hopes of meeting some eligible bachelors. I spent a solid three hours this weekend updating my OKCupid profile, adding new photos of myself and just seeing what’s out there, and I even created a profile on HowAboutWe.com. Since then, I’ve found myself chatting with a handful of potentials— a witty lawyer, a CrossFit enthusiast (I know, I know), a financial consultant and a bearded guy who works for an airline, whom I’ve appropriately nicknamed “Wings.”
In the past, I took a pretty reserved approach to online dating, letting others message me first and skimming through my messages every once in a blue moon. But this time around, I’m doing things differently. I’m going to reach out to the people I want to talk to and cut through the bullshit early on by being my most honest self from the get-go. If your first message to me simply says “hi,” without any thought behind it, I’m deleting it. If your profile is vague and you’re not making an effort, I’m not interested. The old me is gone, and the new, no-nonsense dater is here to stay. Thankfully, my new approach seems to be paying off. After multiple exchanges back and forth with Mr. CrossFit, I received a very straightforward message from him in response to my telling him I’m a “picky dater.”
“So am I,” he confessed. “So, let’s be straight with each other. What are your dating dealbreakers? Please, be 100 percent open and honest.” Keep reading »
Rumors of a third “Sex and the City” movie are in the works, and I’ll be honest, I’m a little excited. I didn’t love the second movie (did anyone?), but I love the series. Like so many viewers, I feel like I know those characters and that they just get me — minus the show’s leading lady.
Carrie Bradshaw is a nightmare. She’s the worst example of a female role model I could ever think of, and an awful representation of single life in general. My fury at Carrie has gotten so bad that I find myself shouting at my screen when watching the show. I wish, more than anything, that I could shake her by the shoulders and ask how on earth she could be so clueless. Here are some things I wish I could scream at Carrie (besides “BE NICE TO AIDAN!” because that would fill hundreds of pages all on its own) — with accompanying GIFs of Carrie being annoying, naturally. Keep reading »
Taylor Swift and Lorde have been spending quite a bit of time together — shopping, frolicking barefoot on the beach, wearing matching outfits — prompting many onlookers (including us) to refer to them as BFFs. But let’s be honest: as any BFF-havin’ lady knows, wearing matching outfits is only, like, level 3 out of 300 when it comes to a true best friendship. As a female friendship blossoms, the milestones come flying in fast. Some are fun and some are gut-wrenching — the first time you make a joke that makes your friend laugh so hard she farts; the first time you get crushes on the same guy; the first time you come up with dorky nicknames for each other; the first time you get in a fight that’s not instantly fixable. Should T-Swift and Lorde to make a real go of it, here are some BFF firsts they have to look forward to. Keep reading »