By the time you hit your Saturn Return, the probability that you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of a romantic infidelity is about as high as your credit card debt. But what happens when you’re privy to the less than virtuous activities of a friend or acquaintance’s significant other? The moral conundrum of whether or not to out a cheater is fraught with shoot-the-messenger peril and weighted with Golden Rule considerations. And the potential outcome of ratting out a rat is just as complex and diverse. Should you risk life and limb to unveil the truth or keep your nose out of someone else’s business? Two ladies argue the costs. Keep reading »
A couple weeks ago I addressed the issue of a woman changing her name when she marries. I expressed that although I don’t plan to change my name when I get hitched this summer, I respect and appreciate every woman’s right to choose what’s best for her. I reject the notion some have expressed that when a woman takes her husband’s last name she’s giving up her identity.
But then I had an interesting conversation with my mother recently that added a whole new layer to this name and identity dichotomy. I’ve been working on wedding invitations and I’m in the middle of finalizing a guest list and collecting addresses, so I shot my mom an email to make sure I had the most current addresses of our family members, and I also asked how I should formally address certain people on the envelopes. I figured that my mother and grandmother, being total old-school traditionalists, would prefer to be addressed with their husbands as Mr. and Mrs. TheirHusband’sFirstAndLastName, but I wasn’t sure about everyone else. How, for example, should I address my aunt who’s divorced but retained her married name?
My mother’s reply sort of shocked me. Keep reading »
After posting my most recent “Dating Amelia,” I got a very kind email from a reader asking for advice. I got her permission to answer the question on the site.
“I just recently discovered this website and I found a great deal of affinity for your situation, as I am going through the exact same thing myself. I’ve read your ‘Dating Amelia’ posts and they are inspirational. I do have a question for you though. You seem to have no problem finding men who were interested in you. How did you do this? I never get approached by men and always turn out to be the girl they want to be friends with instead of date. I’m 26, in grad school, a book nerd and average-looking. How can someone like me attract a good man? I admit that I am terrified that I will never be enough for a man (this is the reason my ex said he was leaving, that I wasn’t enough). I’ve been told that I might just have to wait until the men in my age group lower their standards, but I don’t want to be the girl someone just settles for. You seem to be coping with this situation so well and moving on in healthy way. Any advice you can offer would be much appreciated.”
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Just as the world is starting to get used to homosexuality, a new type of sexuality is introduced. Today, “Good Morning America” discussed interesting cases in which people love inanimate objects. Yes, we’ve heard of this before with the man who has sex with cars, but now there’s a name: Objectum-Sexuality. Take for instance Erika Eiffel, who had a commitment ceremony and recently changed her name to reflect her bond with the Eiffel Tower. And the French landmark isn’t the first thing she’s loved. “When other teenagers were dating each other,” said Erika, “I was dating a bridge.” [ABC News] Keep reading »
How’s this for a controversial book title? Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into The Romantic Dream–And How They’re Paying For It. The book, written by Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake — two professionally successful women — argues against marrying only for love and urges women to think about their beau’s pocketbook before walking down the aisle. In the new issue of Marie Claire, the magazine sits down with a brief Q&A with the authors, who back up their argument with some statistical support — women still don’t make as much as men in the workplace and bear more of the burden of child-rearing at the same time. “The juggling act required to be a successful woman, to be a good mom and to be a careerist, makes you want to say, Screw it, I should’ve married for money,” says Ford.
All this has got to make you wonder what Ford and Drake’s marital statuses are — Drake is happily married to someone she married for love, while Ford says, “I married the love of my life when I was 26 years old. Now I’m a single mom and he’s engaged to a girl 15 years younger than me… The bitterness is there.” And I don’t blame her. Unfortunately, as I can attest from almost marrying someone for love (who also happened to HAVE money), there’s no way to prevent or take the burn out of being left brokenhearted. Keep reading »
I have said and/or done the wrong thing so many times that it’s truly the eighth wonder of the world that I ever managed to trick anyone into dating me more than once. There was the time I fell off my chair and farted (loudly) just as my butt hit the ground. Or the guy I leapt away from as he tried to kiss me, gesturing frantically at the giant oozing cold sore on my lip. (I still don’t know how he missed that thing—I’m pretty sure it was visible on Google Earth.)
There are plenty other gems in my arsenal of embarrassment, but who hasn’t had a red-faced moment or ten? I used to beat myself up over these transgressions, but despite my occasionally questionable behavior, most of the men I’ve been out with have forgiven me quite cheerfully. In turn, I’ve turned a blind eye to their missteps and gaffes. What I’ve found is that it comes down to levels and limits. Here are some guidelines.
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After reading a recent report from the BBC stating that the current recession may have more negative than positive effects on our dating life, I started thinking about whether this was really true. Yes, money worries can be a huge obstacle to relationship building, but as the author of the report, relationship psychologist Susan Quillam, points out, surely animal attraction offers the most reliable and least expensive source of comfort when times get rough, right? Keep reading »
I am a Sagittarius (11/27/75). About 12 years ago I met a Cancer (06/26/73) and from the beginning, it felt like there was an instant bond between us. Over the years we became really good friends and recently started dating. It’s been going well, though I don’t hear much from him. He goes out of town a lot, so I only get to spend time with him twice a month. During the times he’s been away, I’ve spent a lot of time with my single friends going out dancing and that’s when I met a younger Capricorn (12/27/87), who is fun, exciting and the best kisser ever. I’ve been spending less and less time with Cancer and more and more with Capricorn, but I’m not sure if there is any long term potential with him. I would really like to find someone to settle down with, but I just don’t know which one to choose, please help. – Saucy Sag Keep reading »
Dating coach Rachel Greenwald was on “The Today Show” this morning schlocking her new book, Why He Didn’t Call You Back. For the book, Greenwald conducted “in-depth” interviews with 1,000 men and in her interview this morning, she laid out the ten main reasons they cited for not calling a woman back. These aren’t so much “reasons,” it turns out, as they are 10 female stereotypes that scare guys away, because of course it’s never about the men and whatever issues THEY might have, but always about the mistakes women make and how screwed up they are. What’s the number one way to buck your particular stereotype and guarantee a call-back? “Be nice,” the dating coach instructs. Watch the full clip above for other insightful advice you never would have thought of on your own. Keep reading »
A new study found that a third of men would prefer to play video games rather than have sex with their partners. Oh yeah?! Well there’s some things we’d rather do than hump too, and they’re way more exciting that Grand Theft Auto! See our list, after the jump… Keep reading »