A new study found that mutual dislikes — rather than likes — help humans bond initially. “There’s something really powerful about the discovery of shared negative attitudes,” said Jennifer Bosson, the lead researcher on this study. She found that we tend to connect when we have a third entity to demean because it makes us feel as if we instinctively understand each other better.
I know this sounds awful, but I think nearly all of my long-lasting friendships (and some relationships) began this way. My childhood best friend and I met when I was accidentally seated next to the kid who picked his warts and ate them in first grade. I cried so hard that the teacher changed the seating chart. My new neighbor and I talked about how weird Wart Boy was and we’ve been friends ever since. I met my college best friend on the steps of my freshman dorm. An awful frat guy tried to make a pass at me and I made fun of him. She laughed. We became instant besties. I know we are taught to be nice and perky to make friends. But screw that. I will continue to form bonds over things I dislike. It’s more fun that way. [NY Mag] Keep reading »
If you have sex with 20 people, you will get genital warts. At least, that is how I framed it to my friends. My pillows had seen more than a few DIY haircuts when I saw something downtown, too: bumps. I knew it was an STI. Genital warts, to be honest, but I wasn’t ready to be. Maybe it’s razor burn? I thought, instead of facing facts. Or just ingrown hairs? Maybe if I grew out a ‘70s bush it will go away?
Yeah, it didn’t. Keep reading »
Yes, women are complicated creatures. We are aware that men are baffled by us most of the time and we apologize for that. We can’t help it sometimes. Half of the time we don’t even understand why we do the things we do. I mean, I had to flip a coin last night to decide if I was going to go to the gym or stay home and watch “The Biggest Loser.” Why? I have no idea. While I try to make a concerted effort to get to the bottom of the mystery of me (ahem, therapy), that doesn’t mean I have a clue about some of the other members of my gender. After the jump, some female behavior that completely baffles me. Add yours in the comments. Keep reading »
This morning, as part of my pre-work routine, I logged onto Facebook and noticed it was my friend Joel’s birthday. As I was clicking over to his page to leave a “Happy birthday!” message on his wall, it suddenly occurred to me, Wait. That means it’s his birthday as well. My ex, that is. It had slipped my mind completely. It was the first year since we broke up that I had completely forgotten, where I didn’t have it on my mind for at least a few days, eager to use it as an excuse to email him — not because I wanted to get back together, mind you, but because I still was slightly invested in how he was doing and what he was up to. But this year, I forgot his birthday and wouldn’t have remembered if I hadn’t been reminded, inadvertently, by Facebook. As for using it as an excuse to email him? Meh. I have taxes to do.
It seems to me that forgetting an ex’s birthday is a pretty solid sign that you are over it. Over him, over the relationship, over the anger, over the heartbreak. Happy birthday, indeed! It took me a long while to get here, I’ll admit, but over the last few months I’ve noticed some other signs that I’ve officially closed the book on that relationship and how it ended. Keep reading »