When it comes to dating, there are some rules that should not ever be broken. Here are 10 dating commandments — for men! — that should be etched in stone. (Don’t worry — we’ll do 10 for women too … eventually.) Keep reading »
Recently, I was having a Big Serious Relationship Talk with a woman I really respect. I know Dr. Debra Haffner in a professional-relationship-turned-friendship way for her work as executive director of the Religious Institute, which promotes a greater understanding of sexuality issues within religion. Debra is also an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister and, as such, she works with a lot of individuals and couples on answering “the big questions” of life. I’m not an especially religious person (“faithful,” might be a better description) and I’m not one to go around calling ministers when I have problems. But when I knew I needed to talk to someone wise and thoughtful, her image came to the forefront of my mind.
I am so glad we talked. I don’t read many self-help books or psychology books. Much like WebMD always making me think I have cancer, self-help books put “ideas” in my head. But there is something Rev. Debra explained to me that I found really enlightening: the concept of a “distancer” and a “pursuer” pattern in a relationship. Keep reading »
You know how, once in a while, someone asks you your age and your mind goes blank, leaving you sounding like a total idiot tripping over the word, “Uhhhhh…” That’s how I feel about my magic number. Confession: I have no idea how many men I’ve had sex with over the years. I cashed in my v-card at age 16, and for a while kept a mental tally of the guys I had sex with, who were usually of the boyfriend variety. Somewhere in my early twenties, I reached the 10 mark and from there, keeping count just felt kinda wrong. About a year ago, a friend asked about my sex number and I went home determined to do a tally. But after I reached the second guy in the list whose name and identifying characteristics I no longer remembered, I abandoned the endeavor and vowed never to do it again. I know that my magic number is more than 15, and I’d like to say that it’s less than 25. But I’m just not sure anymore. Keep reading »
I was at a party a few years ago, where Mikey, one of my gay best friends, and I were having one of our heart-to-hearts. “Devon and I broke up,” he announced.
“What, why!? You seemed so perfect together,” I gasped.
“Eh, we were both tops,” he sighed. Keep reading »
I gotta say, even though I’m rarely surprised when a celebrity couple splits, I was pretty shocked when “Dexter”‘s Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter announced they were divorcing. They’d only been married a couple years! They weathered through his battle with cancer! Surely they had the stuff that makes relationships survive? Apparently not. According to the National Enquirer (I know, a dubious source), after his cancer went into remission, Hall decided he no longer wanted to have children, a dealbreaker for Carpenter. If this is true, how sad. Imagine going into a long-term relationship/marriage with someone, agreeing on such a key aspect of where you see your lives headed together, only to have your partner up and change their mind one day. Keep reading »