I recently canceled my OK Cupid account for the millionth time because I was sick of going out on dates with guys who weren’t actually interested in dating. But I’m happy the site exists if only because the data they release is so random and fascinating. For example, the site found that people whose taste buds are titillated by beer are a lot more likely to sleep with someone on the first date. What about wine drinkers? What about wine drinkers?! Oh wait, I know the answer to that question. [OK Cupid] Keep reading »
Fellas! Valentine’s Day is less than a week away — how ya holdin’ up? Have you figured out what to get your special lady (if you have one, that is)? No? Hmm. Not to put to even more pressure on you, but seriously, you really don’t want to f**k this up. Valentine’s Day is the most important day ever created for anyone with a vagina*** and you do want to get laid again, right? Don’t worry — we’re all basically single, so we can pretend to be your hypothetical girlfriend for a hot second and advise you as to where on the “expensive vs. cheap”/”romantic vs. lame” scale the V-Day gifts you might be considering fall. We don’t want you to get dumped because you thoughtlessly gave her a weedwacker or a boob job consultation.
[Note to any future boyfriends of mine: I would actually love a Dyson. But I am a clean freak and not your average chick.]
***Sarcasm alert! Keep reading »
For Valentine’s Day, instead of waiting for love letters that’ll never come — who sends those anymore, anyway? — we decided to practice a little self-love in the name of St. Valentine by writing them to ourselves. We invite you to do the same in the comments. Yesterday Amelia shared hers and today is Jessica’s turn… Keep reading »
I love Halloween. Ditto Thanksgiving. I am all about the Fourth of July—bring on the fireworks and hot dogs. I even enjoy a good April Fool’s prank. In fact, there is only one secular holiday that makes me break out into hives: Valentine’s Day.
See, St. Valentine and I have a complex relationship. Keep reading »
Last week, I went on a date. I haven’t been on a date in two years, owing to the relationship I was in that recently ended, and it was the most nerve wracking experience since the first day of high school. I tried on, like, six different outfits. I spent an hour and a half showering and doing my hair and makeup. As I walked to the restaurant where we’d agreed to meet for dinner, I forced myself to take long, deep breaths of the cold February air to calm down. It only kind of worked.
There’s no question my two-year relationship changed me from being the kind of girl who would sleep with two different men in one weekend just to have fun to a “relationship girl.” I feel like my wild oats were thoroughly sown — which is a good thing! — and that I matured a lot in the past few years. After the security, intimacy and love that I had with Ex-Mr. Jessica, I don’t think I could go backwards to being the rowdy girl I was before. At least right now, hopping in and out of bed with different dudes for fun just plain doesn’t interest me.
But I don’t know if I can do the exact opposite, either. The idea of dating someone seriously again, with the intention a relationship, is seriously daunting. Remember, I was dumped only a little over a month ago. Dipping my pinky toe into dating again — albeit briefly — has only shown me it’s too soon: I am still way, way, waaaay too messed up by all the things Ex-Mr. Jessica did to me to do this. Keep reading »