Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

OK Cupid Says Being Uglier Actually Makes You More Attractive

OK Cupid has attempted to decode the algorithm of the male lizard brain. Using women on the site as data, they demystified female beauty in the eye of the male beholder. Well kind of … beauty being defined in this case as getting the most messages. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I May Be Single, But I Am Not Alone

I’ve always been kind of a loner. While I’m silly and funny and irreverent with one or two people, I clam up in social settings and in groups. I think this is why I’m a good interviewer: I focus very intently and intensely on one person. More specifically, I need a lot of time in my own head to think. The two activities that I love the most — writing and reading — both require being alone. As with anything, I’m sure I came to be like this with some combination of nurture and nature. I am the youngest of five kids, so I learned as a child to be in the physical presence of other people but still do my own thing. But my parents were pretty preoccupied with stuff going on in my brother’s life from the time that I was 14 years old onward, so I also learned how to be independent. Keep reading »

Poll: What Do You Remember Better — Your First Kiss Or Losing Your Virginity?

What Do You Remember Better -- Your First Kiss Or Losing Your Virginity?

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How I Knew He Wasn’t The One

Definitely NOT The One
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The Do-Not-Date List
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Not The One
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In the latest issue of Glamour, there’s this really interesting feature called “How I Knew” which features short little essays by men on “how they knew” certain things: “How I Knew I Really Would Marry Her,” “How I Knew I Was Going To Cheat,” etc. My favorite of the bunch was “How I Knew She Wasn’t The One,” in which writer Adam Sternbergh rather humorously describes how he knew various women weren’t “the one” until he finally did meet the one who was. Now, I’m not really a big believer in “the one,” so to speak, as I think we all have lots of of ones, but I am a big believer that we have even more people in our lives who were NOT the one and we can usually pinpoint one particular moment when that became clear. So, in the vein of Sternbergh’s essay for Glamour, here’s my own “How I Knew He Wasn’t The One.”
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Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Is Obsessed With My 8 Pound Weight Gain”

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. Initially, he was the pursuer, but as time passed I fell completely in love. We were stable, playful, and even got a dog together. Starting in October, though, he started being shady: [at] bars all the time, getting too drunk to drive home and staying at his friend’s house (who happened to live with a girl who was a previous hook-up of his), lying about who he was with and just being sneaky in general. I panicked and clung harder than ever, became suspicious and snooped and only made myself feel worse. And then we moved past it and were happy again. Then, last Sunday, he said we “needed to talk.” I feared the worst: cheating? Breakup? Nope. He has been seriously preoccupied with my eight pound weight gain. He says his preoccupation is the reason for his distance, and that he’d hate for us to have to plan our lives around my weight gain. (You know, since being 5’6, 165 lbs seriously inhibits my lifestyle.) I don’t feel like it’s unreasonable for him to say something about maybe working out more, but blaming our relationship issues on my weight gain? Since he told me, he has been affectionate and loving again; he says he just needed to get it off his chest and now everything will be fine. But I’m pissed. Is it worth it for me to put up with his shallowness? I don’t think it’s okay to blame everything on eight pounds. Am I overreacting? Or should I MOA? — 165 and Ready to run

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Girl Talk: I’m An Extreme Emotions Junkie

I came to a new understanding about myself recently. At my session last week, after hearing me go on and on about a recent bout of man-related depression, my therapist cut me off with a revelation. “You know what you are?” Dr. A said. “You’re an extreme emotions junkie. Some people are adrenaline junkies — they get off of some sort of thrill, like jumping out of a plane — but you get off on feeling really good or really bad. It’s what makes you feel the most vibrant, the most alive.” Keep reading »

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