Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dating Trend: Going Dutch

This weekend I had a conversation with two good friends of mine who are married and have been with their husbands for five-plus years. They were peppering me with questions about my oh-so-exciting dating life, and I mentioned that all the dinners and drinks were getting expensive. “Wait, what do you mean?” they asked. “Aren’t the guys paying?”

“Oh, no,” I responded. “Men don’t seem to be doing that anymore. Every date I’ve gone on, the check has been split.” They were aghast. What had happened to the tradition of men paying for dates since they were single? Was it the economy? Were men cheaper? Women more insistent on paying their share?
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Kiss Across The Miles With A KissPhone

If reaching out and beaming someone isn’t exactly up your alley, there’s another new invention that may help keep your long distance relationship intimate. The KissPhone, created by French freelance inventor Georges Koussouros, is designed with a “huge pair of lips that is able to measure the pressure, percussion speed, temperature, and sucking force of your mouth, sending those parameters to the remote user’s KissPhone.” So, basically, if you and your partner both have a KissPhone, you can kiss the “huge lips,” and your partner will experience the sensation of being kissed on the other end of the call. The concept seems interesting, but if you thought drunk calling and texting was bad, just imagine how embarrassed you’d be if you drunk “kissed” the wrong person. On the other hand, at least you won’t get mono. [via ubergizmo] Keep reading »

16 Reasons To Date a Convict

After checking out, a mock online dating site feigning to connect prisoners with those on the outside, we gave the convict-dating phenomenon some closer inspection. The result? There are clearly a bunch of reasons not to date a man behind bars (enforced long-distance relationship, depression at his non-voter status in certain states… him being a CONVICT), but there are also some potential perks. Check them out after the jump. Keep reading »

For The Week Of April 27-May 3, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Random kinky ideas will hit your brain like bolts of lightening, daring you to take your slinky little self to the other side of paradise. Think of this as a one-way ticket to a level of fulfilling lust you’ve never quite attained before, as the struggle between your prim and proper side hasn’t allowed you this enticing of an invitation before.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Although sex shouldn’t be a weapon, this week it’s the only effective arsenal you’ll have to prove a point to your honey that he can’t always have his cake and eat it too. If this means closing down the candy shop until he learns how to behave, consider it a compromise you’re going to have to make; then break out your vibrator and call it a day.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’ll need to think strategically when it comes to dealing with your honey and his aggravating idiosyncrasies that waste your time and much of his. While he won’t respond well to the tyrannical side of you that’ll be raging this week, be ready to burn that excess energy of yours in other ways before laying down the law in a fresh and fun way to that big confused baby of yours.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Fate will be frustrating you with tossing hotties to you that aren’t as bright as you’d wish. Although you’ll want to reason with yourself that perhaps it’ll take time to uncover their inner Einstein, you’ll know deep down that what you hear is really what they get. So, take this cue and realize screwing without talking is your best bet to get off this week.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Having to prove you’re some crazy party animal isn’t the way to go when it comes to sealing the deal with that special someone. After all, when you’re done playing this charade, what are you going to be left with? Having to clean up a lie, live up to a imaginary standards or being stuck with regret? Realize the truth is your best defense and your hottest come on too.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Sure, your standards have come from long hard experiences that made you who you are. However, there are always exceptions to the rule and when those moments come, you’re just going to have to act fast and hop on the ride. This week, don’t be left behind because the picture you see isn’t as perfect as you’d wish it to be.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can give you a fast thrill and a boost of confidence when you need it — like this week, as all the answers you’re waiting for slow to a screeching halt and leave you anxious and in doubt. Go ahead, throw money at the problem and call it a day. If anything, buying a new standard will be an answer you’ll be able to rely on.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Trying new ways of reaching out for love is on your agenda this week. If this means accepting a blind date or posting that online profile, just get in touch with that pioneering spirit of yours and do it. While it might not give you instant gratification, it’ll at least put you in line for stirring up the love energy around you and for now, that is a success onto itself.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

They’ll be a feeling of urgency in your pants that won’t be the most cautious. However, getting put up against a fence and having to decide between practicality and little danger is hot onto itself and no matter how dreadful the circumstances, isn’t a little adventure worth the trade off? If anything, it’s a scandalous page for the memoirs.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Here you go again, revisiting a situation that started up a few weeks ago with a friendly acquaintance. This time around though, things won’t be as sketchy as they were and if you play your cards right and communicate your thoughts, without any game playing tactics, this could put you on a whole new level with that certain someone.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your heart will be telling you one thing, while the circumstances will be telling you another. No, this won’t be the easiest week for you to decipher what the hell is happening in your love life, but you can be thankful for one thing — your friends. They’ll be with you through this mess, so remember to be grateful and don’t kick a gift horse in the mouth.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

All the bumping and grinding you’ll be up to this week won’t be leaving you with too much motivation for much else, if it were up to you — but this is when you’re going to have to get in touch with your more disciplined side to turn it out — as in being able to spot a major career opportunity and using your wandering eye for more than just a good time.

Nice-Meeting-You-But-We’re-Not-Dating Cards

Telling a guy who’s trying to make something happen with you that you’re not interested is about as fun as doing your taxes or cleaning out the garage. But you should do it, because no one likes it when someone feigns interest and then pulls “the fade.” In our dream world, when a sleazy guy tries to pick us up at a bar, we’d hand him one of these cards with a smile — before walking away. But in the real world, we probably wouldn’t have the balls to do that. Keep reading for two other options. [Etsy]

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Lesbian Is The New Black

Lesbians are hot. No, not like that, perv. I mean, they’re everywhere. There’s Ellen, Portia de Rossi, “Top Chef’s” Jamie Lauren, Cythia Nixon and, up until a few weeks ago, Lindsay Lohan and Samatha Ronson. According to CNN, more women these days are in lady-lady relationships, and a growing number are leaving male partners for women. [ via CNN] Is going lesbian the new thing to do? Keep reading »

Dating Amelia: How To Tell Someone You’re Not Interested

To be honest, I haven’t been in the position of rejectee very often. I dated this guy in college for a couple months who one day showed up at my window in the middle of the night, rapping on my window, asking to be let in, because he was running from the cops. (I’m still not sure why). The next morning when I drove him home, I called it off. I was 19 and in college. He was 27, working at a crappy seafood restaurant, and had no problem running away from the cops in the direction of his girlfriend’s house. It was not going to work. I told him that, and he got very upset, but I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Another time I had a torrid, two-week affair with a man who was 12 years older than me and a pathological liar. When I found out, I had no problem screaming at him and telling him to never contact me or breathe my name again, lest he want me to ruin his life. That one was easy. But, in general, I find letting someone down to be a difficult thing to do. Maybe that’s why I should be a little more sympathetic towards men when they give me the runaround rather than telling me straight up: “I’m not interested in you like that, despite coming over to your apartment after our date and touching your boobs.” But I’m not sympathetic. Because sometimes in life you have to do something that is uncomfortable but necessary. Telling someone straight up how you feel in an honest but gentle way is one of those things, and giving him signs, pulling “the fade,” or just disappearing altogether are not acceptable substitutes. I forced myself to remember that today, as I told Mr. Plaid Glasses that it wasn’t gonna happen. Keep reading »

15 Things A Woman Notices About A Guy

Men’s Health has another insightful article for its readers, this time on the 20 things a woman notices about a guy. Included are a few no-brainers like shoulder muscles (13), intelligence (14), and attire (16), but most of the list contains head-scratchers like “Your resemblance to a rock” (3), “Your lungs” (4), “Your resemblance to Spider Man” (8), and “Your belly button.” What? Because most women I know aren’t sizing up a guy’s navel or his lungs — or his web-building abilities, for that matter — here’s a list of 15 things a woman really notices about a guy. Keep reading »

Why I Love My Kid More Than My Husband

When your three-year-old climbs onto your lap and asks, “Do you love me the best, Mama?,” what do you say? “Well, yes, but not as much as I love your Daddy?” I don’t think so. Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: Has My Taurus Lost Interest?

“I am an Aquarius (born Feb. 13th 1982) and my boyfriend is a Taurus (April 21st 1972). We’ve been together a few months and I have feelings for him, but his behavior confuses me. At first, he was all flowers and calling for no reason, but now he hardly ever calls. When we do meet it’s wonderful and he’s so loving! He sometimes talks about wanting to travel or buy a house, then casually asks me if I’d join him; but at the same time, he hasn’t planned our next rendez-vous himself for a while now. I feel rejected and neglected when he acts this way, but I’m afraid of scaring him off and being too needy if I say anything. So, I’m wondering if we went too fast at first, if he’s losing interest and is afraid to tell me, or if he’s maybe just trying to back off and see if I’m ‘the one’ or what?? So confused!” – Aquarius Lady Keep reading »

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