I’m a strong Aquarius and my partner is a Libra. She and I started out as friends; we met through a drama club and a community service club. She would flirt with me and I would flirt back — at the time, I had no idea that I was a lesbian. We quickly became very sexual-hump buddies and then I kissed her in the heat of the moment. Three months later we started having sexy-time-escapades. Then she said she actually liked me; I hesitated, but I said I liked her too. So, we’ve been dating for about two years now, but I still have a desire to be free.
She can be very controlling and manipulating. I’ve wanted to break up with her, but she threatens to kill herself. Recently, I decided that I would break up with her because I am about to go to college and I really want a clean, focused state of mind upon entering college — but I can’t do it. I just don’t know what to do about this situation and in my opinion it is getting out of control. The first time she gave me oral sex we got in a HUGE fight right before — I regret that so much. Basically, our relationship is based on sexual desire with a hint of friendship. She is all about being out about being gay and letting everyone know, but I don’t like that idea. I just don’t know what to do. – Ms. Aqua Keep reading »
The biggest, baddest, most terrifying part of falling in love is opening up and letting yourself be vulnerable. When it works, love can seem like the stuff of fairytales: you meet someone, you get to know and like each other, you enter into a mutually trusting and respectful relationship, you fall deeply, madly, hopelessly in love, and you live happily ever after.
At least, for a while. Keep reading »
Banks are foreclosing on houses. Jobs are being outsourced. Popular retail stores are shutting down. Magazines like Domino are folding. Despite the economy being pretty much in the crapper, romance is on the rise. Popular online dating sites like Match.com and eHarmony are seeing a spike in the number of people signing up looking for love; Match.com saw its biggest membership growth in seven years in November, and eHarmony.com registrations increased 20 percent in 2008. Yes, it seems people are dumping their change jars into Coinstar machines and flocking to online dating sites. But why would you pay for a gamble on love when the gas and electric people are sending you death threats? It boils down to one simple word… Keep reading »
One of the things I love about being in a relationship is that my friend circle multiplies. But what happens to those newly formed friendships when the relationship ends? For example, recently two of my friends who were in a couple broke up and it’s been awkward ever since. Where we used to all go out together once or twice a month, now I have to split time between them, and I have the nagging feeling that I’m cheating when I hang out with one and not the other. After driving myself crazy for a few weeks (Do I talk about or avoid the subject? Partake in talk about the ex or awkwardly change the subject when it comes up?), I sought some advice on dealing with the joint-friends breakup — who keeps whom? And does it really have to come down to that? Keep reading »
This past week on VH1′s “Tool Academy,” the dudes were taught humility by admitting their deepest fears about their relationships and prancing around in tutus. However, their girlfriends have been trying to put them in their place since the season began by withholding sex. Granted, none of those bros deserve a piece of their girl’s promise land, since they’ve been complete bastards, but if these ladies are willing to stand by their jerky boyfriends while they man up, what’s the point of not having sexy times?! It simply turns sex into a control issue. However, these “Tool”-ettes are not alone in their belief that keeping their legs closed for business will bring about a positive change in their love life. The question is, does denying what you both need — sex — get you what you want — a good relationship?
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Last night I had a drink (okay, we had three) with my ex-fiance’s mother — she had called me previous to her coming into town and has asked if I wanted to meet up. I hadn’t seen her since about three weeks before our initial break/split/whatever, when she had come to town with her husband to meet my mom and see one of the spots we were considering for our wedding. Throughout the break process she was very kind and as supportive as she could be, given that I was in the middle of a relationship crisis with her son. I think she was so kind and supportive to me because obviously she is just a kind and supportive person in general, but also because she had come to think of me as part of her family — that’s why I think our breakup was so hard on her. And on me. Keep reading »
Our Emily took this photo back when she was in high school. The first boy she ever loved defaced a park bench for her — how sweet!
Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to firstname.lastname@example.org. Keep reading »
Since my breakup, I’ve not only been navigating single life, but I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of relationship to have with my ex. Are we friends? Acquaintances? Simply exes? Potential friends with benefits? It’s hard to say, and I vacillate between these possibilities. I’m grateful that ours was a long distance relationship, so I don’t have to worry about running into him at a club or the grocery store. At the same time, I’ll be honest — I miss him. Our once-daily talks and emails have dwindled to once or twice a week … but that doesn’t mean I don’t think of him more often than that. Keep reading »
And I’m not just declaring it so because I’m no longer getting married and am bitter in some way. No, marriage is dying because the studies say so. According to new census figures analyzed by The New York Times, married couples, whose numbers have been declining for decades, have finally slipped into the minority. So while it may seem like you can’t find any single friends to go bar crawling with, chances are a small majority of all those couples you know aren’t married and probably won’t be in the future. This makes me positively stoked — even before I was someone’s fiancee, I was never super rah-rah marriage. Maybe it’s because my parents are divorced or I was still still reeling from Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s split, but marriage never seemed like the end goal of a relationship for me. I always saw children as being the big payoff of monogamy, not a ring or a wedding. And even after I got engaged — and was truly happy about it — I believed in marrying that man, not marriage in general. So now that I’m not marrying that man (for whom, I found out, children were not the big payoff), I’m back to thinking that marriage is nice for some people, but not the end all, be all for happy coupling. Keep reading »
Last month, I showed up at a party that my hubby, Andy, and I had been invited to, and I was greeted with silence. Now, I know I’m not that unpopular, so something had to be wrong. As I shrugged off my coat and people got back to mingling, my friend approached with a vodka tonic in hand. Passing it to me and trying to sound casual, she said, “So…where’s Andy tonight?” And then, in a stage whisper, “Is anything wrong?” Keep reading »