Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Real Chick Lit: “Rattled,” Accidental Pregnancies, & Paternal Responsibility

In 2007, 26-year-old magazine editor Christine Coppa found out she was pregnant by her boyfriend of three months. Christine decided to continue the pregnancy, a choice her boyfriend supported — until a few months later, when he suddenly decided he wasn’t prepared and/or didn’t want to be a father and subsequently signed away his parental rights. [See below.] Coppa wrote about her pregnancy and continues to write about being a single mom to her son “J.D.” for on her blog “Storked,” and recently released her memoir, Rattled!

I read the book and found it interesting, particularly because Coppa’s life is similar to mine, in that she’s in her 20′s, single, lives in New York (she now raises her son in NJ), and works in media. Like her, were I to find out I was pregnant at this particular stage in my life, I would probably choose to continue the pregnancy and have the baby. Rattled brought up an interesting issue, one I hadn’t really considered before in much depth. When an accidental pregnancy occurs, the choice whether to continue or abort it is in the woman’s hands. The man doesn’t have a choice in whether or not he will become a father, but societal opinion — though not always legal opinion — considers him equally as responsible for caring for his child, lest he be labeled a “deadbeat dad.” After reading Rattled, I wondered how fair that was. Keep reading »

For The Week Of May 4-10, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll be feeling your independence this week and it’ll surprise you with how liberating you can be and how daring you’re going to get. Feel free to let loose in the biggest way you can, as in being as extravagant, decadent and determined as possible, as you are in the driver’s seat this week and this is your time to live it up from a new perspective.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your uppity attitude and moral codes are going to make you feel more reserved than you have in a while, throwing you into the background and making you want to observe the world with a more open point of view. This will include reevaluating those closest to you and this could mean falling deeper in love or totally out.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

If something doesn’t give this week, like learning a secret, sealing the deal with that someone you’ve had ambiguous times with, or just an overall feeling of peace in your life, then it’s time to rethink your current situation because as it goes, one of those three things should relate to you now.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Deal with any paranoia you have about your health this week, as this is your bravest time to face those demons and get tested. If you’re with someone, then time to hit the clinic together for that oh-so romantic commitment sealer of getting your STD tests done together, so you can begin your entry into total monogamy on a pristine note.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Changing up your routines and letting the wind blow where it may will be of great benefit to you, if you are out to get the romance stirring back into your life. As it goes, if you step out of your comfort zone, you’ll be immediately and greatly rewarded with someone to really sink your teeth into and remind you that you’ve still got it.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

If you just stay put and listen to your heart in silence for a second, it’ll tell you all you need to know. Otherwise, going at the rate you’re going, trying to come up with the smartest answers and over thinking the situation only kills your current potential. Seriously, the obvious is not only your best bet; it’s the easiest one too. Put away the drama and just deal already.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Communications will be all out of whack this week. While you will hear personal news that will bring a glow to your heart, you will also hear not-so-sunny news in regard to another, must likely a relative, that’ll put a damper on things. However, while it sucks to have to dim your bliss in light of circumstances around another, it doesn’t mean you have to turn it off completely.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

If you want a little more compassion from your honey, you’re going to have to step it up with gifts, some humility and worst of all, be willing to let him rehash the past to get the drama out of his system. Of courses, this sucking up your pride will be the worst, but if you want things to go back to normal, it’s necessary. To soften the blow, hit happy hour everyday before going home.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Clarity and cash are in your stars and they’ll both be lifting your confidence to a bold new level, giving you the power to tell those who have been using you like doormat to step off. Seriously, as you truly embrace what makes you happy and thrive, you’ll see that a lot of the old ways you had stuck in your head are just crap. Then, you can buy yourself something deliciously decadent.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your moment to say, “I told you so,” is coming and it’ll feel so good, that you’ll feel as if you had three weeks at the spa. Nothing spells bliss than satisfaction to know that you are indeed smarter than others and with this win, you can expect that someone special will be wanting to kiss your ass just a little more sweetly.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

When you find that you can bury the hatchet and finally let that someone that you thought was the devil back into your life and turn a new leaf, you will feel as if you are the most mature lady in the universe and for that you should definitely feel free to indulge yourself in whatever way you feel fit, because god damn it, you deserve it!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Someone you’ve been idealizing and thought of as unattainable is going to come through and make all your wildest dreams come true. However, don’t get too caught up in the moment, thinking this is your fairy tale ending, because this is only the beginning of the game and if you want to win in the end, this will mean showing some reserve too.

Do Opposites Really Attract?

You like the movies, and he likes TV. You make the bed, and he steals the covers. You take two steps forward, and he takes two steps back. But you come together because opposites attract. Right? Not exactly. Despite the success of Paula Abdul’s catchy 1989 hit, the complexities of human attraction continue to befuddle the biologists, psychologists, and romantics who dare to ask the perennial questions: why, when, and how are we attracted to people so different from ourselves? Keep reading »

Can We Sue My Hubby’s Ex To Pay For His Vasectomy Reversal?

Slate’s “Dear Prudence” gets the best letters. This week, “Wishing I’d Got to Him First” wrote in, asking for advice about reversing her husband’s vasectomy. You see, her husband was married before, and his ex-wife “required” him to get his tubes cut because she did not want children. Then, she left him for another man. Now, “Wishing” is married to a man who can’t give her kids, and she wants them — bad.

“We’ve looked into having my husband’s vasectomy reversed, but the cost is prohibitive—around $15,000—and the procedure is not covered by health insurance. Would it be appropriate to approach Leanne or pursue her in civil court to recoup the cost of the procedure?”

Keep reading »

Vaginas Are Fun To Play With, But You Don’t Marry ‘Em!

“Millionaire Matchmaker” Patti brought out big gun Dr. Pat Allen to help a client figure out his commitment issues. Allen advised him that a woman who lets you play isn’t a virtuous woman, so he inevitably gets bored and moves on. Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: Can Our Long Distance Love Last?

I’m so confused about my current girlfriend. I’m a Sag and she’s a Libra. A little background info: We’ve only been together since February 13, but it started before that. Recently, I got stationed back home, after being gone for almost four years. I “re-met” this girl Ashley from high school when I was out celebrating my 22nd birthday. It was fireworks from the start. A few weeks later, we started talking about my deployment, and she said the longest she’s been away from a boyfriend is two weeks and even that was too hard. She promised me that she’d wait for me. Up until a week ago (five weeks in), things were good. I emailed her regularly, called her from foreign ports when I could. She even broke down and said that she never really noticed how much I meant to her until I was gone, eventually coming out and saying that she loved me. I knew how I felt about her and told her I loved her, too. Keep reading »

Online Dating Dos And Don’ts

A friend of mine is tipping her toe into the online dating pool and has been asking me for advice on navigating the waters. So, in honor of her, and some of our very own Frisky staff who have been doing the same toe-tipping themselves, as well as anyone else out there who has wondered how to best maximize the opportunity, I present the Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating after the jump. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Five Dating Habits That Toe The Line Between Cute And Crazy

Have you been watching “Tough Love” on VH1? It took a bit to grow on me. Now, not only do I love the show, I may be harboring a secret crush on host Steve Ward.

I bring this up because a couple weeks ago, he had the ladies participate in an impromptu game show that he called “Cute or Crazy.” Not surprisingly, one contestant’s habit of letting her cats choose her boyfriends was dubbed “crazy,” while another’s Riverdance reenactment qualified as “cute.”

Many of us have some behaviors that might be misinterpreted as kooky, when they’re actually just quirky. Take, for example, how I get livid if anyone dares to crack one of my magazines open before I’ve had a chance to browse through it. That’s perfectly understandable. Right? Keep reading »

The Top 10 Things You Learn When You’re Heartbroken

While heartache pretty much sucks — especially the kind you can’t seem to get over — it can be a great learning experience. After the jump, the top 10 things you learn when you’re heartbroken. Keep reading »

How Do You Heal A Broken Heart?

Recently, a woman wrote to Salon columnist Cary Tennis seeking advice about a broken heart she’d been suffering for over 10 years. In 1997, the woman “set free a beautiful man to live the rest of his amazing life,” three years after meeting him on an island in Hawaii, where she works and lives. He was there temporarily and made it clear he’d be leaving eventually to pursue his career and Ph.D. elsewhere. Nevertheless, they forged ahead with a relationship, and she fell very much in love with him. She even got accidentally pregnant — a pregnancy she decided to terminate, but she feels that the experience forever “fused” her to this “amazing” man. Soon after, he left Hawaii, like he always said he would, and now, nearly 12 years later, the woman still cannot get over him. She says that since they are in the same career field and he has a father in Hawaii who “sometimes needs her help” and a brother who visits Hawaii occasionally, she cannot escape him. Why, she can even order a “poster of his partner through the National Geographic bookstore” if she wanted, so obviously, “there is nowhere to hide.” Keep reading »

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