Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Is Obsessed With My 8 Pound Weight Gain”

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. Initially, he was the pursuer, but as time passed I fell completely in love. We were stable, playful, and even got a dog together. Starting in October, though, he started being shady: [at] bars all the time, getting too drunk to drive home and staying at his friend’s house (who happened to live with a girl who was a previous hook-up of his), lying about who he was with and just being sneaky in general. I panicked and clung harder than ever, became suspicious and snooped and only made myself feel worse. And then we moved past it and were happy again. Then, last Sunday, he said we “needed to talk.” I feared the worst: cheating? Breakup? Nope. He has been seriously preoccupied with my eight pound weight gain. He says his preoccupation is the reason for his distance, and that he’d hate for us to have to plan our lives around my weight gain. (You know, since being 5’6, 165 lbs seriously inhibits my lifestyle.) I don’t feel like it’s unreasonable for him to say something about maybe working out more, but blaming our relationship issues on my weight gain? Since he told me, he has been affectionate and loving again; he says he just needed to get it off his chest and now everything will be fine. But I’m pissed. Is it worth it for me to put up with his shallowness? I don’t think it’s okay to blame everything on eight pounds. Am I overreacting? Or should I MOA? — 165 and Ready to run

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Girl Talk: I’m An Extreme Emotions Junkie

I came to a new understanding about myself recently. At my session last week, after hearing me go on and on about a recent bout of man-related depression, my therapist cut me off with a revelation. “You know what you are?” Dr. A said. “You’re an extreme emotions junkie. Some people are adrenaline junkies — they get off of some sort of thrill, like jumping out of a plane — but you get off on feeling really good or really bad. It’s what makes you feel the most vibrant, the most alive.” Keep reading »

Do You Have An Embarrassing Ex?

I was cruising around Facebook yesterday and discovered that one of my friends is randomly friends with an ex of mine. My first impulse was to message her and ask how she knew him, but I stopped myself. I was too embarrassed to even admit that I dated him. In fact, I never admit it to anyone. Keep reading »

Do You And Your S.O. Have A Song?


This weekend I saw “Blue Valentine” for the second time — and there probably will be a third viewing, so just deal! — and I was struck, again, by a moment in the movie when Ryan Gosling’s character, Dean, picks out a song for he and Cindy, played by Michelle Williams. “I got us a song, like our song, that would just be for you and me,” he says. “Because everybody’s got songs, but they’re lame and they all share them, you know, it’s disgusting. Not us. We have our own song.” That song is Penny & the Quarters’ “You and Me” and, I’m not gonna lie, I sort of want to steal it for myself and the future Mr. Amelia, whoever he may be. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Low Confidence” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Low Confidence” who had just started online dating after getting her weight under control. With very minimal dating experience at all, she got a little freaked out when her first potential online match flaked and disappeared after she asked him out. “I was really starting to like the guy, as much as you can like someone you’ve never met, so it’s a bit disappointing that when I finally thought I might get to meet a nice guy, it doesn’t seem to have worked out. I decided to get back on the horse and have begun communication with two other guys, but I’m worried the same thing will happen again.” After the jump, find out if she indeed got back on the horse and how things are going for her today. Keep reading »

For The Week Of January 10-16, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Sugarcoating your conversations doesn’t have to mean you are lying, as there isn’t anything you have to hide per se, but how you present your information will matter. Yes, be careful with how you use your words now, as every syllable will matter in the scheme of your latest lusty plans. However, the art of flirtation is a two-way street, so prepare to get back the sweet talk you give.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Who cares about repercussions? Despite how careful your brain wants to act now, cast all logic aside and run with your emotions. After all, trying to deny your feelings always bites you in the end, as you’ve learned you are a true romantic at heart and there is no other way for you to operate. Besides, chances are this adventure is worth the risk.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Just because you love your boo doesn’t mean you have to love his family too. While it pays to be friends with them, it may be hard for you to force the connection. However, this week, a miracle will happen and have you seeing a new side to where your sweetie comes from and it may just have you surprisingly falling even harder head-over-heels for him.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You might be a sucker for a pretty face, but without brains to back it up there are only so many thrills you’ll be able to squeeze out before boredom strikes. Not to say you can’t have some fun, but realize there are all sorts of opportunities out there now and if you settle too fast, it’ll be you missing out on having some substance with your sex.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

It may be hard to place your finger on how you feel, but if you just keep talking about it, things will start to take shape. It’s just about getting it all out on the table, to see what you’ve got, and then working it from there. If anything, it‘ll also finally give that other the clue that they’ve been waiting for, giving you both a big lesson in the finer and hotter points of teamwork.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll be feeling a new sense of confidence and daring that’ll come on suddenly, so don’t be shy to climb on top and ride out your dreams, as this is your time to be the boss! Sure, this brash show of power might be much for a few to handle, but in love, the only thing you need to know now is that it’s survival of the fittest. So, let the games begin!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Prepare for a certain someone to suddenly start acting “formal.” Yes, it’s to create a distance to recalibrate. However, chances of it being directly about you are slim. We can’t choose who we fall for; so don’t beat yourself up over this weird turn of events, as everyone is entitled to go schizo every so often. Instead of freaking, take it as your cue to do other things — like shopping!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Relax and enjoy a week of not trying to solve your problems on your back. No, this isn’t the time to screw away your agonies, as it’s about taking a more innovative approach to the same ole same ole and making it your own. Life is changing rapidly and to stay ahead of its curve, it’ll mean working those more bizarre angles.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

This is one of those weeks when being happy over being right will be more your speed, so don’t get flustered when your boo starts sounding like a crackhead. That’s right, ignore it and take the high road. Trust you know who he really is and leave it at that. If all goes as the universe foretells, in a few weeks, it’ll all work itself back into you both being as snug as a bug in a rug.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

The truth is coming and will bring a colossal shock. The good news is that it might be so great that you’ll feel as if the universe is revolving around just you, or it might be something that you’ve long suspected but did all you could to avoid accepting because the pain seemed too hard to bear. Whichever direction your story veers off into, don’t worry. Remember it’s always darkest before the dawn.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Birds of a feather may flock together, but it doesn’t mean you have to like it. Yes, there will be something quite disturbing about your baby this week and it can boil down to the company he is starting to keep. While you can’t play mom, barking orders to get what you want, there is no reason you can’t use sex as your weapon. As they say, all is fair in love and war!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

The heat is on, as you and that special someone turn that corner to find the inevitable has arrived — as in time to make a big decision on where you’re going and work out a real commitment. While not all will be easy, in terms of sorting out boundaries and humbling your ego, realize it’s a small price to pay when dealing with someone who actually is on your level.

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