Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

For The Week Of March 14-20, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

A light bulb is going to go off in your head and once it does, the light from it will make apparent everything you need to know about your current state of affairs, as in how to properly approach, and what to expect — making your life just so much easier and manageable. After all, there’s nothing like a little organization to turn on a lady like you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

While you hate confrontation, you also know you hate having to baby anyone too. So, be warned the only way you might come out of this week without having to spark flames of fury is to kill that other with kindness instead and chalk it up to another day at the “office.” Of course, know your limits, because it’d be a shame to waste all that coo-ing by snapping at the end.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

There is only so much you can say to get someone to truly know what you are saying — and if they are the right person, sometimes you don’t even need words, as the connection you feel is so strong that language is just an accent to the magic. Yes, this week, don’t over-think those you meet or are around, as it really should be that cut and dry.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Leadership requires more than just charm, but a real sense of detail and knowing all the nuances of your team. This week, double check to see that all is okay, as it’s those pesky little things that will get in the way of getting what you want. However, if you get all the pieces in their right place, the rewards will be phenomenal.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Perfection is a fleeting concept, so think hard on whether or not clashing ideologies can be a plus or minus for you. After all, it takes two points of view to keep things interesting. However, constant conflict is a buzz kill. Of course, who knows what agreements can work out, if you try. Whatever you analyze the answer to be now, know there will be no right or wrong way to go.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Harsh critiques are an annoying part of life; don’t take it too close to heart when you hear opinions about those closest to you. Seems no one will be feeling much love and you’ll be put in the middle of it. Thankfully, you are a sign of diplomacy, so work out those treaties one by one, as you will find the right words to restore the peace all around you.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Seems those old ways of doing things aren’t going to be thrilling you the way they used to and a big change will be under way, as you crave something more dangerous and spicy. Whatever you get to quell this hunger, who knows, as it’s spontaneity and possibly grabbing at a few mystery straws that will ultimately float your boat this week.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You aren’t the most practical gal in the world, so don’t even attempt to be. Whatever wacky ideas you have up your sleeve, time to start unrolling them now, as it’ll be listening to that pesky little devil that sits on your shoulder that will bring you the most rewards. Yes, go ahead and tempt fate, as that is the only way for you to fully see the brilliance of you.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

If the world worked in the way you assumed, what fun would it be? Sure, you don’t see the point of psyching yourself up only to wind up disappointed (which most of the time happens anyway); however, this week, life as you know it won’t be running the same way and to get it grooving in the right direction, it will take a gust of quirky blind faith to move it along. So go ahead, blow!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

While you may actually be saying the same things you usually do to your boo, the different words and semantics you’ll be using will be what kills the moment. When it happens, it will annoy. However, just take a time out, clear your mind and head back to the discussion, because with enough blabbering, eventually you both will click. Just think of this negotiation as foreplay and all will be fine.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Anxiety is going to come creeping in and make you doubt yourself. Just go with it, backtrack if you must, and make sure all of your actions have been copacetic. As you will learn, it will only be seeing it in this harried state of mind that you will understand the depth of your sanity. So hold tight, as it’ll then mean having to confront that person trying to play you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

There is always a price to pay for ease. So, despite loving the comfort now, time to project yourself into the future and to see the cause and effects of today’s decisions. Yes, the deeper you sink into this languid abyss, the harder the climb to fulfill the ambition inside you. Not to say you have to make drastic changes immediately, but at the least, recognize self-sabotaging patterns.

Deep Throat Method Of Detecting Cheaters

If your man has a lower, deeper voice pitch, he’s more likely to have more sexual partners … and babies. That’s what researchers who study the science of cheating say, at least.

On the surface, you probably think, “Well, yeah, a guy with a deeper voice is just sexier, seems more confident, etc.” so it’s possible he’s got more game. (But not necessarily.) It’s also possible he’s more likely to be unfaithful. (Again, not necessarily.)

But the infidelity researchers say, “Yes, necessarily!” They had college students listen to recordings of male and female voices that were digitally raised and lowered. Women deemed men with the lowest-pitched voices most likely to cheat — and the most attractive. The same held true for the guys who listened to high-pitched women’s voices. Read more… Keep reading »

Decode My Dream: A Different Ex Every Night

For the past week, almost every single night, I’ve had a dream about a different one of my exes. On the first night it was the “good ex.” We broke up a long time ago, but remain friends. In the dream we were holding hands and laughing. It was just like when we were together except he was wearing these weird overalls. The next night, it was an ex that I haven’t spoken to in a while. We’re not on bad terms, but we don’t speak regularly. In my dream we were texting and I felt good about it. Finally, last night, I dreamed of my ex who I really don’t speak with. The one who broke my heart. We were back together. I had this tattoo on my back that was based on our relationship (it doesn’t exist in real life) and he was taking his teeth out of his mouth. There were layers and layers of fake teeth, until I realized he had no teeth at all. I woke up in a panic. All these relationships were at least three years ago. I’ve been single for a while. I thought these guys were in my past. I want to meet a new guy. Am I still hung up on my exes? What do these dreams mean? — The Ex-Files

Keep reading »

The Apple Store: A Friendly Place For Single Women

I visited the Apple store last night to purchase a new MacBook Pro.  My computer is lovely and bringing much joy to my life, as I knew it would. What I didn’t know was that the Apple store is an untapped Mecca for single women. How come no one told me sooner? Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m Moving Out On My Own Again

Two months ago, I packed up my life into all the suitcases and storage boxes I could find. My kitchen supplies went in storage. A Reiss cocktail dress I’d bought to wear for my own engagement party at some unforeseen date went to my sister’s. My books are still piles up in my parents’ living room. I left baby photos of Ex-Mr. Jessica, given to me by his grandma back when he referred to me as “the one,” behind in our old bedroom along with my housekey.

Moving out of the apartment I shared with my ex-boyfriend was worse than the breakup. He made the breakup easy on me, in a way, by treating me badly. I felt hurt about being dumped, of course, but mostly I felt angry: I didn’t deserve to be dumped so suddenly, to have another woman waiting in the wings, to basically have been kicked out of my home, and to have my possessions threatened. I still feel blood-pumping anger about all that. Moving out felt so final and being forced to do it against my will totally sucked.

I’ve spent a lot of time on my own these past two months. I’ve done a lot of thinking and hurting and growing. I feel ready — or mostly ready — to leave my parents’ house in Connecticut where I’ve been staying and move back out on my own again. A single woman. A city girl again. Sigh. It turns out moving out on my own again is hard, too. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Got My Ex Back By Bettering Myself

“Oh god, mom, he broke up with me!” I blubbered over the phone, I was crying so hard my face resembled a marshmallow.

I had decided to stay in bed for two days and was starting to become very ripe and slightly unhinged. Needless to say I was not taking this well at all.

“Should I call him? How do you just leave someone? I really needed him and he dumped me!” I said between sniffles.

My relationship with my now ex had taken a turn for the worse over the past five months. I was stressed out at my job, and had decided without much consideration to go back to school full-time. My mood had changed adversely, and I had proven to be very difficult to be around. I became needy and mean, all at once. It had come to the point where I barely even recognized myself. Keep reading »

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