Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

What’s Your Inner Age?

I have this theory that everyone has an inner age that best captures their essence. You are born your inner age and remain it throughout your life, regardless of your outer age. I’ve identified the inner age of everyone important in my life. My mom is 16, my dad is 21, my brother is 35, and me? I am eternally eight years old. If you spend the day with me, you’ll agree. I am a clumsy goof-ball. I like to flap around the room and pretend I’m a bird. I still laugh at poop jokes. I live for birthday cake. I’m eight. I was once in a relationship with a guy whose inner age was 80. He moved slowly, liked quiet time, and ate wheat bran every morning. Our inner age gap caused problems for us from time to time, like when I woke him up in the morning by steamrolling him. As you might imagine, grandpa didn’t like that so much. So how do you determine your inner age? Find out how, after the jump. Keep reading »

I Don’t Like How This Story Ends

What will become of me? Are outcast or grandmother my only options? Ack. It’s just that Path A seems so much more fun … until you hit 40. Damn that bad literature! [The Gloss] Keep reading »

Finally! A Heart Diagram That Makes Sense

And so the love cycle goes. New love in, old love out. How awesome would it have been if this was the diagram we had to memorize back in science class? [Pleated Jeans]
Keep reading »

What’s Your Wedding Song — Real Or Imagined?

Sitting in Starbucks awhile ago, Jack Johnson‘s cute little ditty “Banana Pancakes” came over the sound system. “Pretend like it’s the weekend now,” I sang to myself, thinking, This song is significant. Why is this song significant? Then I remembered: my friend Tania picked “Banana Pancakes” as her first dance song when she married her now-husband Mark this summer. At the time, I thought “Banana Pancakes” wasn’t particularly romantic, but hearing it again, I think it’s sweet. Keep reading »

7 Things We Hate About The Way Men Break Up With Us

There’s never a perfect way to execute a breakup. But there’s certainly things men do that make it worse. (Or the way women break up with us, for those of you who are Sapphic-ly inclined.)

For instance, I had a guy break up with me after I’d just had sex with him and paid for his takeout sushi. My most recent breakup happened over the phone, he lined up a date with another girl literally the next week using a gift certificate his father had given me for Christmas, and he removed all my things from our bedroom and piled them on the kitchen table to “help” me move out. Oh, and there was the whole threatening to throw my things in the trash thing! That was fun, too. Really, a lovely breakup it was.

I know women who have gotten dumped on or just before Valentine’s Day. I know women who’ve gotten dumped over IM. I know women who have been cheated on with other women in their office. There’s clearly a lot of foul play out there when it comes to breaking up … so let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we? Keep reading »

Dater X: I’m In Relationship Limbo

Yesterday evening, I met The Young One outside my office with no idea of where we were going or what we were doing to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I’d pressed him for clues all week and the most he would give me was, “You’ll really like it,” and “If you wear heels, nothing too high.” We began walking, zigging and zagging down the unseasonably warm New York City streets. Every time I thought I had an idea of where we were headed, he’d laugh at my guess, shake his head ‘no,’ and make an abrupt turn. Finally he said, “This is it,” motioning toward an awning with the words “Ballroom Dancing” printed on it. Keep reading »

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