Sitting in Starbucks awhile ago, Jack Johnson‘s cute little ditty “Banana Pancakes” came over the sound system. “Pretend like it’s the weekend now,” I sang to myself, thinking, This song is significant. Why is this song significant? Then I remembered: my friend Tania picked “Banana Pancakes” as her first dance song when she married her now-husband Mark this summer. At the time, I thought “Banana Pancakes” wasn’t particularly romantic, but hearing it again, I think it’s sweet. Continue reading
There’s never a perfect way to execute a breakup. But there’s certainly things men do that make it worse. (Or the way women break up with us, for those of you who are Sapphic-ly inclined.)
For instance, I had a guy break up with me after I’d just had sex with him and paid for his takeout sushi. My most recent breakup happened over the phone, he lined up a date with another girl literally the next week using a gift certificate his father had given me for Christmas, and he removed all my things from our bedroom and piled them on the kitchen table to “help” me move out. Oh, and there was the whole threatening to throw my things in the trash thing! That was fun, too. Really, a lovely breakup it was.
I know women who have gotten dumped on or just before Valentine’s Day. I know women who’ve gotten dumped over IM. I know women who have been cheated on with other women in their office. There’s clearly a lot of foul play out there when it comes to breaking up … so let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we? Continue reading
Yesterday evening, I met The Young One outside my office with no idea of where we were going or what we were doing to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I’d pressed him for clues all week and the most he would give me was, “You’ll really like it,” and “If you wear heels, nothing too high.” We began walking, zigging and zagging down the unseasonably warm New York City streets. Every time I thought I had an idea of where we were headed, he’d laugh at my guess, shake his head ‘no,’ and make an abrupt turn. Finally he said, “This is it,” motioning toward an awning with the words “Ballroom Dancing” printed on it. Continue reading
A few years ago my friend Dana and I were volunteers for Minds Matter, a non-profit organization that helps underprivileged kids get into college. Dana, a white Florida hippie who had a thing for rap music, was hoping to boost her resume in order to secure a teaching fellowship in the city. My goal as a biracial fashion executive was just to help underprivileged minority girls get into college. The program was amazing. Every Saturday, Dana and I, along with a hundred other mentors would devote hours to our mentees and help them identify the schools best suited for them, complete their applications, and draft their personal essays. My mentee was a beautiful African American high school senior from Harlem named Jaleesa. She was smart, hardworking, and respectful, and I had come to view her like a little sister. To know that I was helping this young and talented girl into to college made me really proud, and protective. Continue reading
A new survey of more than 800 college students found that over 60 percent of admitted cyberstalkers were female. More than 30 percent ‘fessed up to hacking into their S.O.’s email accounts. Researchers also found that women were way more likely than men to stalk Facebook or check cellphone histories. While I can say I am anti-snooping, I know there are times when perfectly logical, not insane women are put in a position where cyberstalking is the correct course of action. Luckily, I have never been in that position and I hope I never will. To all of the other females engaging in extraneous cyberstalking — cut that crap out! Sigh. What do these results say about us? That we’re more insecure than men? That we’re more jealous? I propose an antidote to cyberstalking. If you are feeling the urge to stalk your sweetie online, Google yourself instead. It’s totally addictive, narcissistic, and harmful to no one. Problem solved. [New Scientist] Continue reading
There is a certain brand of love advice that makes me cringe as a single woman, “Follow your intuition.” Which is why a piece in the Daily Mail, featuring excerpts from Joanna Scott’s book The Love Key: How To Unlock Your Secret Powers And Find True Love, made me want to bang my head against a wall. More on the magical powers you can unlock after the jump. Continue reading