Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Why My Ex…Rules?

After you’ve been dumped it’s pretty easy to think up things that sucked about your ex. Why My Ex Sucks wants you to “condense your bitterness” into three reasons why your ex is the worst and submit them for public enjoyment. Some of the greatest include:

“He had a twisted relationship with his twin sister. He referred to her as ‘his girlfriend.’”

“He was so dumb that at one point he thought I made up both the names ‘Hamlet’ and ‘Shakespeare.’”

“When we broke up and I kicked him out, he proceeded uninstall and steal our toilet.”

All of this makes for loads of amusement, but you know what’s harder, and possibly even more therapeutic in, like, a healthy way, than coming up with three awful things about your ex? Coming up with three ways in which they totally ruled. My ex and I used to play a game called “Look at the things I’ve brought into your life,” in which we’d list random fun stuff we introduced each other to. For example, thanks to me, my ex is now a Democrat, got to go to Carnival in Trinidad, and eats green vegetables with some frequency. I attempt to return the positivity, after the jump… Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: The Carbon Copy

Everyone knows that there are lots of fish in the sea. Some fish travel in schools and enjoy the security of being identical to their underwater neighbors. I always preferred the beta fish, however; colorful and unique, the beta fish swims alone and exudes individuality. Just like the beta fish that attacks any gilled creature that resembles his reflection, Carbon Copy and I were doomed from the start. The pond simply was not big enough for the both of us. Keep reading »

For The Week Of June 8-14, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Live it up this week because this is a good time for you to take on frivolous fun and a devil-may-care attitude. The more fun times you pile up now, the better for you, as next week some intense times will be going down and the more beautiful memories you build up now, the easier the transition to next week will be. Seriously, take any opportunity to laugh now.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

This week is sort of grim in terms of thinking the sickest case scenarios. However, this exercise in your imagination has a purpose, as you’ll be heading into a time that you can actually show some gratefulness to someone close to you and revel in the fact that your nightmares are only in your mind. Sometimes you have to know what you can’t have to cherish what you do have.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Take your time in getting to know the latest catch, because just like fine wine, this flavor should be taken in slowly and sensually to get the full body taste they offer. After all, who needs to rush and fall in love anymore? This is the new millennium. If you aren’t going to make yourself the ruler of your own domain and call the shots that make you the prize, who the hell is?

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your sexual prowess can be given an Olympic event all its own, as most people would have to train for years to be able to keep up. Therefore, realize his appetite for destruction is not the only sign of love you should rely on. Pace yourself and your baby and if you do, things will sync up the way you want in time. Understand not all champions are born, some must be made.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You have your lover at your beckon call and that is a beautiful place to have him be. Although at times you wonder if things are little too easy, think about life in Versailles and wonder if they would of wanted to live in the Bastille instead. Appreciate the good life now because not only have you earned it, you want it. Accept this gift horse in your mouth darling!

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You will hear all the okays you want, but promises won’t go down the way you expect. Call it a misunderstanding or out-and-out disrespect, whatever the case, being as specific as you can is necessary to clear up all discrepancies. However, when all is said and done, know that you only have one shot at this and if directions are not as followed, it’s up to you to leave, non-negotiably.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You and your boo have a common goal: fun, passion and excitement. However, how you both want to go about it can cause strife, as you both have your own agenda and want to do things your way. Instead of wasting time pushing and pulling, realize to go right to the compromise stage and realize there is room and time for everyone to be Queen (King) for a day.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This is your time to slow it down and chill out. Your sensuality needs attention and the only way you will be able to practice it to perfection is if you remind yourself to take the time to enjoy satisfaction and explore every detail of your honey’s body and mind. Sure, the quickie does fulfill, but ignoring those other options are like throwing away a winning lottery ticket.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

A rose colored filter is about to overtake your point of view and a feeling that everything is beautiful will be turning you on. Go with it, as this is just the kind of inspiration you need to put you back into a game that has bigger and tastier rewards. You are in the center of the universe right now, so live it up by going all out.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Who cares what the rules are? All you know is that you’re fed up following them. This week, dart off into the path of most unknown, as you need inspiration to prop your life and libido back to a standard that not only is exciting and erotic, but uncharted and mysterious. Seriously, without any curiosity, how do you expect to really get off?

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Stubborn and seemingly undermining opinions a certain friend will spew isn’t exactly from the place you think it will be. Call it jealousy or unrequited love, whatever it is; it won’t be in your personal interest to take this advice to heart. While this behavior is out of character, realize it is somewhat unforgivable too. Bide your time with other company.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Complacency is the worst place to hit in a relationship, as that is when the real action has to begin. This is the time to sink or swim and making that ultimate decision is down to the wire. Yes, seems this is when the true test of taking responsibility is going to happen or not and the real prize for dominance is sealed.

Seven Ways To Make Your Boss Love You

In this economic climate, everyone wants to avoid getting laid off. The number one way to do this is to have a strong relationship with your immediate manager. Here are some strategies that have worked well for me over the years. Keep reading »

Writing The Wedding Toast

On Sunday, my sister is getting hitched. Lizz is the exact opposite of a bridezilla, but because she’s a professional event planner, she sent me an amazingly precise document laying out exactly what time everything will be going down on the big day. So I know that at exactly 3:45 p.m., it’s time for me to give a toast.

I’m very excited about giving the toast. Public speaking doesn’t phase me much, and I kind of like the rush that comes with lots of people staring at you, hanging on to your every word. I want my toast to be semi-brilliant. I want people to laugh, I want people to cry. The thing is—I’m not exactly sure what to say. I have lots of ideas swirling about, I just haven’t settled on the right one. And so, I consulted Tom Haibeck, who wrote the book Wedding Toasts Made Easy. Here are his five tips for creating the perfect toast. Keep reading »

10 Simple And Sexy Spots To Elope

While choosing bedazzled table linens and lacy garters can be stimulating, wedding planning can also be pure misery. Every day I fantasize about telling my mother and future mother-in-law to take a hike so my fiancé and I can hightail it to Vegas, or even better, Paris, or some exotic, beachy location, but unfortunately, that isn’t in the stars for my impending nuptials. Keep reading »

Why He Disappeared After Sex

If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard a woman moan about how she thought things were going great with a guy only for him to disappear the minute she slept with him, well, drinks would be on me this weekend. Luckily, the guys over at Truth Merchants are dealin’ their “daily dose of reality” and spelling it out so I don’t have to. After the jump, their top three reasons a guy splits after he hits.
Keep reading »

What To Do If He Doesn’t Believe In Marriage

Want to see more content like this? Visit YourTango.com, or check out these related links:

  • How to Say “I Love You”
  • Snuggie: The Ultimate Relationship Killer
  • 16 Essential First-Date Tips Keep reading »
  • Flaunt A Flush To Show You Care

    About to tell your boyfriend you cheated with his best friend? Pinch your cheeks first! Because according to the New York Times article “Hold Your Head Up: A Blush Just Shows You Care,” bearing a peachy flush makes others more sympathetic towards you.
    Keep reading »

    Chrysalis: Cashing In On Your Quarter-Life Crisis

    Many months ago I wrote a column about Restless Life Syndrome, a name I borrowed from an advice column on Salon to describe the phenomenon of, well, feeling restless in one’s life — of consciously or unconsciously searching for greater meaning through a series of often meaningless jobs, relationships, and purchases. In my piece I wrote that Restless Life Syndrome is another name for a variety of trendy “phenomenons” like the quarter-life crisis, Saturn Return, mid-life crisis, and empty-nest syndrome, and this restlessness so many of us feel at some point isn’t so much a product of one’s age, but of life in general. Keep reading »

    • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

    • HowAboutWe

    • Popular