The minister who performed the ceremony for our wedding six years ago required all couples to take counseling sessions with her before their big day. So my guy and I did – we took personality tests, talked about our approaches to solving conflict and our plans for the future, and we got a lecture on the importance of “feeding the tree.” At the time, we giggled, thinking we were getting sex advice from a seemingly asexual woman of the cloth. But “feeding the tree,” she explained, was about treating our relationship with care, nourishing it, so that it could grow sturdy roots, limbs, and leaves. Kind of a hokey metaphor, I know, but, it turns out, that minister gave us the secret to keeping our romance alive … Keep reading »
Good news, married and soon-to-be-married folk! Wedded bliss can lead to better mental and physical health, a longer life, and more friends — but only if the union is a “loving and supportive” one. Researchers found that happily married people were more likely to eat healthier and have fuller social lives, likely because a supportive partnership encourages healthier habits and widens a person’s social circle. However, according to the researcher who reviewed major studies on the subject in seven European countries, an unhappy marriage is worse for a person’s mental health than not being in a relationship at all. In other words, there are worse things than being alone. [Daily Mail U.K.] Keep reading »
Psychologist Robert Leahy made a list of reasons why men don’t listen to women. Sure maybe he’s not listening to us because he want us to be rational rather than emotional, but it’s pretty likely that at that point, we’re not listening to him either. While this list is an interesting look at why communication breaks down between the sexes from the male perspective, we thought it would only be fair to make a list of reasons why women tune men out. Check them out after the jump. Why do you stop listening? Share in the comments. Keep reading »
One of the defining tensions in my life has always been reconciling my feminist political beliefs, my desire for a respectful and egalitarian relationship, and my attraction to more traditional alpha males. I passionately believe in women’s equality, in reproductive rights, and in equal pay for equal work. And I want to be in a loving, intimate, balanced relationship where everyone makes a contribution, whatever that might be. So why do those things seem so hard to reconcile with my desire to feel looked after and taken care of? Keep reading »
I saw this Tumblr post where a girl made a list of the reasons why she thinks she’s single. While “I just haven’t met the right person,” is a great catch-all, I thought I’d try to dig a little deeper. Ya know, in the interest of self-awareness. Check out my “Why I’m Single” list after the jump. What would your list say? Keep reading »
After my recent breakup, 95 percent of the comments that people have made to me have been loving, supportive and wonderful.
And then there were the ones that were not. Well-meaning? Sure. But not helpful.
One person, for instance, called my Asian ex-boyfriend a “fortune cookie-roller.” Racism? Not helpful. One of my girl friends read his Facebook page and proceeded to tell me all the books and movies he likes that signify he’s a loser. Dissing the man I (still) love? Not helpful.
After the jump, 11 more things you should think twice, and then three times, about saying to a woman who has just been dumped. Keep reading »