Recently, a woman wrote to Salon columnist Cary Tennis seeking advice about a broken heart she’d been suffering for over 10 years. In 1997, the woman “set free a beautiful man to live the rest of his amazing life,” three years after meeting him on an island in Hawaii, where she works and lives. He was there temporarily and made it clear he’d be leaving eventually to pursue his career and Ph.D. elsewhere. Nevertheless, they forged ahead with a relationship, and she fell very much in love with him. She even got accidentally pregnant — a pregnancy she decided to terminate, but she feels that the experience forever “fused” her to this “amazing” man. Soon after, he left Hawaii, like he always said he would, and now, nearly 12 years later, the woman still cannot get over him. She says that since they are in the same career field and he has a father in Hawaii who “sometimes needs her help” and a brother who visits Hawaii occasionally, she cannot escape him. Why, she can even order a “poster of his partner through the National Geographic bookstore” if she wanted, so obviously, “there is nowhere to hide.” Keep reading »
In the most recent issue of Vice, Chris Nieratko lists 10 inventions he wishes, you know, inventors would make already. He desires a cell phone with lasers, a “titty-milk-catching bag,” and seven others things. That adds up to nine, if you’re counting. The 10th annoyed me.
A Mouthless Woman: A mouthless woman gives me no chance of future blow jobs, but really I have no chance of future blow jobs as it is and my wife has a mouth. But imagine how much quieter the world would be if we could engineer women without mouths.”
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Reader Brenna sent us a couple photos of graffiti by elusive British street artist Banksy. Keep reading to see the second one.
Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to email@example.com. Keep reading »
Are you a woman who is pretty successful in most parts of your life — good job, great friends, nice apartment — but you can’t seem to get it together when it comes to meeting guys and dating? We used to think this was normal, but now there’s a name for the “disorder”: Modern Female Dating Anxiety. Ryan and Jessica Cassady, a husband and wife duo who work (respectively) as a life coach and a clinical psychologist/sex therapist, introduce the term in Stop Wondering If You’ll Ever Meet Him. Apparently, MFDA is when normally self-assured women struggle with dating, developing symptoms like sweaty palms, shallow breathing, and obsessive behavior as a result of modern dating practices. The shift from more formal courtships to casual dating, booty calling, and hookups seem to have stripped some successful women of their confidence. Yes, dating in this day and age is complicated with no clear rules, but we feel a little torn. While it’s nice to know we’re not alone in being short of confidence in the romantic relationships part of our lives, we’re not so sure we have a disorder that requires a name. [Sydney Morning Herald] Keep reading »
It wasn’t so long ago (1980, to be exact) that the average age of American women marrying for the first time was 22. Less than 30 years later, the average age for a first marriage has jumped to 26 for women and 28 for men. In a recent column for the Washington Post, Mark Regnerus argues that this trend is dangerous because women are putting off marriage during their most “marketable” years, before they have to “beg, pray, borrow and pay to reclaim” their fertility. He writes: “Marriages that begin at age 20, 21 or 22 are not nearly so likely to end in divorce as many presume,” but he certainly fails to convince me, a 32-year-old woman not quite married for the first time yet. Keep reading »
Someone at the New York Times must be reading The Frisky, because Sunday’s “Social Q’s” column responded to a question that Amelia addressed last week. Reader Nick wrote:
“I went on a date with a girl I’d met online. I didn’t feel any connection and don’t want to go on a second date. Should I flat-out tell her and risk hurting her feelings? Or should I ignore her messages, and hope she gets the point?”
Ah, the age-old debate over whether you should be honest and tell her like it is or just disappear into the ether. Writer Philip Galanes responded by saying it’s better to state the truth. “Reply to her messages normally, and if she asks you out again, tell her you’d rather die — or just be friends. It’s your call,” he writes. Generally, good advice. We at The Frisky prefer honesty to having guys pull “the fade” on us. However, if you don’t actually want to be friends with someone you’ve dated, don’t suggest it. That would also be leading him or her on. [NY Times] Keep reading »
Nazita Aminpour is suing Chase bank for telling her husband about her secret individual bank account with $800,000 in it. Aminpour had a joint account with husband David Shamash at Chase but kept her individual account a secret. Shamash found out about her secret account when a Chase employee cold-called to suggest he take his money out of that account and invest it in a different way. According to the suit Aminpour filed, Shamash started harassing her until she gave him $155,000 to invest in the stock market and to cover a margin call he had on his stock account. Aminpour says Chase violated non-disclosure laws and is asking the bank to pay her $155,000 plus legal fees. It seems pretty crazy that a woman would keep that much money a secret from her husband, but the bank had no business telling him about it. Do you think it’s OK for husbands and wives to keep secret money stashes from their significant others? [NY Post via Jezebel] Keep reading »
I used to dog sit for two of the cutest pups in the whole world.Their owners gave me strict instructions to always leave the TV on, set to Lifetime, whenever I left them alone. Without fail, when I’d come back, I’d find the dogs lying on the rug together, holding paws and watching the “Golden Girls.” Aww! Those dogs clearly learned a thing or two about how to love each other, and I bet Bea Arthur, as Dorothy Zbornak, taught them a lesson or two. She was always going out with some Tom, Dick (Van Dyke), or Dr. Harry — her neighbor/star of “Empty Nest.” Here are five things we learned from Dorothy’s dating debacles. Keep reading »
Here in the states, couples rarely admit to sleeping in separate beds, but across the pond not only do one in five couples avoid sharing a bed, they claim it improves their sex lives, too. An article in the Daily Mail tells the story of engaged couple Laura Mason and Colin Byers, both of whom are 28 and have slept in separate beds four of the last five years they’ve lived together. Citing sleep incompatibility as the reason for their separate beds — his snoring and warm body temperature keep her awake at night — they say their relationship and sex life improved when they stopped sleeping together: “We are just as close as ever. In fact, as soon as we made the decision, our sex life improved. We’d had a great sex life in our first year together, but having no sleep was making us too tired and irritable to crave that intimacy.” Keep reading »
This weekend I had a conversation with two good friends of mine who are married and have been with their husbands for five-plus years. They were peppering me with questions about my oh-so-exciting dating life, and I mentioned that all the dinners and drinks were getting expensive. “Wait, what do you mean?” they asked. “Aren’t the guys paying?”
“Oh, no,” I responded. “Men don’t seem to be doing that anymore. Every date I’ve gone on, the check has been split.” They were aghast. What had happened to the tradition of men paying for dates since they were single? Was it the economy? Were men cheaper? Women more insistent on paying their share?
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