• Relationships

Love Vandal: Languages Of Love

Reader Courtney sent us this shot from the streets of Paris. Even French graffiti is superstylish. Le sigh.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com. Keep reading »

Five Ways To “Unfriend” A Friend

Recently, a reader asked “Dear Prudence” how to “unfriend” a friend:

How do you “unfriend” someone, not on Facebook, but in real life? This is a person who is also friendly with someone I know well, so it is not unlikely that we might all get together through our mutual friend. However, it might seem odd to the mutual friend that I no longer wish to associate with this person. I see both of them at work and we often eat lunch together. How should I handle this? My main reason for unfriending this person is a serious lack of boundaries on their part (constant evangelizing me to her religion, constant “invitations” which are hard to say no to, bad manners, etc.).

Once, I had a flaky friend. Whenever I’d call her or make plans with her, she’d have one of three excuses: she was too tired, she was sick with a headache or a stomach ache, or she would have to call me back, which almost never happened. I got the hint. Either she didn’t value our friendship or thought her time was more important than mine, and I decided she and I didn’t really need to be friends. While it’s hard to end a friendship, a bad one can be as destructive as an abusive relationship. Here’s the best way to “unfriend” a friend if you find yourself in a similar situation. Keep reading »

Notes To Our Younger Selves

Last week, The Guardian published a heartfelt letter that writer Stephen Fry had penned to his 16-year-old self in which he wrote : “Tears splash on to my keyboard now. I am perhaps happier now than I have ever been and yet I cannot but recognize that I would trade all that I am to be you, the eternally unhappy, nervous, wild, wondering and despairing 16-year-old Stephen: angry, angst-ridden and awkward but alive. Because you know how to feel, and knowing how to feel is more important than how you feel. Deadness of soul is the only unpardonable crime, and if there is one thing happiness can do it is mask deadness of soul.” Hundreds of readers responded to the letter with notes to their own 16-year-old selves, warning of everything from fast-approaching baldness, unfulfilled dreams, and death of friends and family. Some gave advice: “Marry that fab posh girl in about three years, not seven. Life’s too short to wait, but any sooner will freak her out.” Others gave hints of good things to come: “Amazingly, not only will you get a boyfriend but he is lovely and you will live together in London on the other side of the world.” What would you say to your 16-year-old self? After the jump, a letter to myself at half the age I am now — and, yes, that makes me 32. Keep reading »

21 Twitter Pick-Up Lines (er, Tweets)

Breaking news before the slow-poke networks, staying atop of Ashton Kutcher’s activities, bringing the pound sign back: Twitter gives us all of this. But what does Twitter do for love, we asked? The answer: the chance to write clever pick-up lines in 140 characters or less. Keep reading »

How To Date Someone Dumber Than You

“My boyfriend and I are not on the same page, intellectually speaking. Are we doomed?” – Alexis, New York

Want to check out more? Visit YourTango.com or check out these related links:

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  • Dating Amelia: Is My Busted Engagement A Problem For You?

    I never thought I would be in the position of dating with a broken engagement under my belt. I hope to never have another. As I’ve started dating again, I’ve had to think about how honest I want to be about my prior relationship history. So, how honest do I want to be? Totally.

    At first, I thought that I had been engaged might work in my favor. Men are inclined to assume a woman is more interested in something serious than they are, that women want more from men than they’re ready to give. After all, women are always a little further ahead on the marriage path, aren’t they? But I was engaged and dumped. I’m newly single. Therefore, I must project a “just looking to have fun and meet new people” vibe, right?

    Apparently not. Keep reading »

    Lessons From Mom: Don’t Spend Your Whole Paycheck In One Place

    We’re celebrating moms this week in preparation for Mother’s Day this Sunday, May 10. What’s the best thing your mother ever taught you? Tell us by sending an email to tips@thefrisky.com or tweeting @thefrisky. Keep reading »

    Gogetter Grooms Are Getting Involved In Wedding Planning

    The number of grooms wanting to help with wedding planning seems to be growing. While women have books, magazines, and websites devoted to being a bride, the guys get next to nothing. However, a few new websites are tackling the subject for gogetter grooms. GroomGroove.com tackles buying wedding night lingerie (“Depending on your budget, you should look to spend between $60-$100 on a nice bra.”). The Grumpy Groom shares personal stories about the wedding process. Personally, I think it’s great that grooms are getting involved in the planning of weddings. If I get married, I don’t think I’ll want to make decisions about everything alone. It would be nice if my husband-to-be got involved. Maybe talking more openly about weddings and marriage will make more guys want to do tie the knot. Certainly, some women will feel like they’re special day is getting encroached upon. Would you want your future husband to be more involved in the wedding planning process? Or would that increase wedding anxiety? [NY Times] Keep reading »

    Real Chick Lit: “Rattled,” Accidental Pregnancies, & Paternal Responsibility

    In 2007, 26-year-old magazine editor Christine Coppa found out she was pregnant by her boyfriend of three months. Christine decided to continue the pregnancy, a choice her boyfriend supported — until a few months later, when he suddenly decided he wasn’t prepared and/or didn’t want to be a father and subsequently signed away his parental rights. [See below.] Coppa wrote about her pregnancy and continues to write about being a single mom to her son “J.D.” for Glamour.com on her blog “Storked,” and recently released her memoir, Rattled!

    I read the book and found it interesting, particularly because Coppa’s life is similar to mine, in that she’s in her 20′s, single, lives in New York (she now raises her son in NJ), and works in media. Like her, were I to find out I was pregnant at this particular stage in my life, I would probably choose to continue the pregnancy and have the baby. Rattled brought up an interesting issue, one I hadn’t really considered before in much depth. When an accidental pregnancy occurs, the choice whether to continue or abort it is in the woman’s hands. The man doesn’t have a choice in whether or not he will become a father, but societal opinion — though not always legal opinion — considers him equally as responsible for caring for his child, lest he be labeled a “deadbeat dad.” After reading Rattled, I wondered how fair that was. Keep reading »

    For The Week Of May 4-10, 2009

    Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

    You’ll be feeling your independence this week and it’ll surprise you with how liberating you can be and how daring you’re going to get. Feel free to let loose in the biggest way you can, as in being as extravagant, decadent and determined as possible, as you are in the driver’s seat this week and this is your time to live it up from a new perspective.

    Libra (September 23 – October 22)

    Your uppity attitude and moral codes are going to make you feel more reserved than you have in a while, throwing you into the background and making you want to observe the world with a more open point of view. This will include reevaluating those closest to you and this could mean falling deeper in love or totally out.

    Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

    If something doesn’t give this week, like learning a secret, sealing the deal with that someone you’ve had ambiguous times with, or just an overall feeling of peace in your life, then it’s time to rethink your current situation because as it goes, one of those three things should relate to you now.

    Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

    Deal with any paranoia you have about your health this week, as this is your bravest time to face those demons and get tested. If you’re with someone, then time to hit the clinic together for that oh-so romantic commitment sealer of getting your STD tests done together, so you can begin your entry into total monogamy on a pristine note.

    Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

    Changing up your routines and letting the wind blow where it may will be of great benefit to you, if you are out to get the romance stirring back into your life. As it goes, if you step out of your comfort zone, you’ll be immediately and greatly rewarded with someone to really sink your teeth into and remind you that you’ve still got it.

    Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

    If you just stay put and listen to your heart in silence for a second, it’ll tell you all you need to know. Otherwise, going at the rate you’re going, trying to come up with the smartest answers and over thinking the situation only kills your current potential. Seriously, the obvious is not only your best bet; it’s the easiest one too. Put away the drama and just deal already.

    Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

    Communications will be all out of whack this week. While you will hear personal news that will bring a glow to your heart, you will also hear not-so-sunny news in regard to another, must likely a relative, that’ll put a damper on things. However, while it sucks to have to dim your bliss in light of circumstances around another, it doesn’t mean you have to turn it off completely.

    Aries (March 21 – April 19)

    If you want a little more compassion from your honey, you’re going to have to step it up with gifts, some humility and worst of all, be willing to let him rehash the past to get the drama out of his system. Of courses, this sucking up your pride will be the worst, but if you want things to go back to normal, it’s necessary. To soften the blow, hit happy hour everyday before going home.

    Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

    Clarity and cash are in your stars and they’ll both be lifting your confidence to a bold new level, giving you the power to tell those who have been using you like doormat to step off. Seriously, as you truly embrace what makes you happy and thrive, you’ll see that a lot of the old ways you had stuck in your head are just crap. Then, you can buy yourself something deliciously decadent.

    Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

    Your moment to say, “I told you so,” is coming and it’ll feel so good, that you’ll feel as if you had three weeks at the spa. Nothing spells bliss than satisfaction to know that you are indeed smarter than others and with this win, you can expect that someone special will be wanting to kiss your ass just a little more sweetly.

    Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

    When you find that you can bury the hatchet and finally let that someone that you thought was the devil back into your life and turn a new leaf, you will feel as if you are the most mature lady in the universe and for that you should definitely feel free to indulge yourself in whatever way you feel fit, because god damn it, you deserve it!

    Leo (July 23 – August 22)

    Someone you’ve been idealizing and thought of as unattainable is going to come through and make all your wildest dreams come true. However, don’t get too caught up in the moment, thinking this is your fairy tale ending, because this is only the beginning of the game and if you want to win in the end, this will mean showing some reserve too.

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