If I have a daughter one day, among the many things I’ll teach her will be how to tie her shoes, to look both ways before crossing the street, to never end a sentence with a preposition, and to always let the man say “I love you” first. I’ll give her plenty of other relationship tips, too, like how it’s perfectly okay to ask a guy out, to make the first move, to even propose, but when it comes to the “L” word, the ball’s in the guy’s court. When this issue came up last week in my list of 30 things a woman shouldn’t do before 30, it caused a bit of commotion. “What is this, the Victorian era?” wrote one commenter, “if you truly love someone, tell them. Otherwise you’re just playing outdated coquettish games.” Another commenter put it more diplomatically: “I don’t think I’ve ever said ‘I love you’ first, but someone has to do it. It’s okay to take a few risks.” I appreciate both arguments and understand the sentiments behind them, but at the risk of having my feminist card revoked, I think it’s naïve for a woman to utter those three little words before a man does. Keep reading »
My friend Gloria flirts with everyone — even her cat. Seriously. Almost every time I see her she’s cozying up to someone new, even though she isn’t a perpetual dater and doesn’t sleep around. At my birthday dinner a few weeks ago, she asked my friend Sira if he wanted to lick some buttercream frosting off her chest. He busted out his cell phone and said, “Have you seen my boyfriend?” But it didn’t matter to her that he’s gay; she was flirting for the sake of flirting. Keep reading »
For many women, moving in with a serious boyfriend is not merely a stepping stone in the evolution of a relationship, it’s a practical way to both give the mundane realities of marriage a test-run and deal with the exorbitant expenses of modern living. When it comes to co-habiting with a significant other, we’ve come a long way since that old chestnut about not buying the cow when you could get the milk for free.
Or have we? Some research shows that living together before marriage actually increases the already stacked odds that the union will end in divorce. It might seem old-fashioned, but there are plenty of progressive, independent women opting to hold off on living with their dudes until after “I do.” Of course, there are no hard and fast rules for ensuring a marriage succeeds. I talked to two women with opposing views about whether co-habitating with a partner was good or bad for the long-term health of a relationship.
Keep reading »
Just because Paris is the city of love doesn’t mean its men know much about the subject.
Take it from me, someone who spent a year chasing after French men, only to find the pursuit to be disappointing, and at times, disturbing.
I arrived in Paris a few days before my twentieth birthday, full of hope. I was about to spend the next twelve months studying and living in one of the most exciting cities in the world. While I had certain goals in mind—becoming fluent, seeing every museum, and learning how to cook French cuisine—I wanted most of all to find a Parisian lover. I had spent the last two years at Smith College, an all-women’s institution in Massachusetts, not getting laid. There was no way I was going to allow this to happen in such a romantic city. Keep reading »
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
No matter how much logic you use to figure out your boo’s next move, you won’t be successful. He’s going to be unpredictable, shaking up your household and causing major upheavals to your domestic routines. The good news is that your relationship can use a breath of fresh air and this bout of extremes will do more than its fair share to revive the passion.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
If your love life has been in a slump, the universe’s suggestion is as follows: put away your preconceived notions, hop on the Internet and strike up an international flirtation just to get your blood pumping. It’ll be far enough to keep you from getting hooked, but accessible enough to get your ready to hit the locale scene more confidently and charismatically.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Talk is boring, no matter how seductive the words, because at this stage of your game, if all you have are promises and no actions, you’re as good as nowhere. This week, stop listening and start demanding. If you’re not getting your needs met, end the charades. The good news, if you stand up for yourself, a just payback for your wasted time will arrive promptly.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You’ll be feeling inspired and loving life; exuding energy with every step and being you’re in your prime. The bizarre twist to it all? Your attractions will veer right and you’ll find your satisfactions with safer tastes. Hey, whatever gets you off. At the least, this malleable bottom will be the perfect compliment to you being the revved-up-top, so bon appetite!
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
You know what turns you on, so fess up and own it. Rather than thinking yourself a pervert and hiding your dirty little secret, wear it like a badge of honor. Be proud you at least know that much about yourself, as most people won’t even get that far. Plus, if you say it with pride, you’ll find that right ear to hear it loud and strong, proving that the laws of attraction are on your side.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
It’s sexy to have a secret love affair, but not if you’re having it out of the shame and judgment you feel others will give. No matter, the cat is coming out of the bag this week, as snooping friends catch onto your game and expose your double life. However, unlike what you suspect, the support you’ll get will have you barreling out of the closet with pride
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Listening to your friends is the only way you can get yourself out of the mess you’ve dug up with a current flirtation gone wrong. Seems there’s a dangerous web you’ve woven and it’ll take more than just a few apologies to get you out. Instead, corral the team to create a major strategy with precision execution. Yes, sometimes it takes village to keep your love life on track.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Keep your eye on the prize, as in holding tight to your ideals and zipping your integrity in your pants. You know your instincts don’t lie and going against your agenda isn’t doing you any favors. Besides, if there’s one thing you hate, it’s knowing that another has won something over on you — and in this case, is he even worth it? Don’t let horny curiosity be your downfall.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Being screwed-over by sweet-talking cuties with only sex on the brain has taken its toll. Now, with the tables are turned, it’s you that possesses all the power. However, deciding where to let your karma flow isn’t as easy as you thought, as it’ll contort your mind and twist your body into shapes and places you never thought possible. Seems having a soul isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
As long as you keep your standards low and your patience in check, they’ll be no reason your love life can’t go into cruise control and have you feeling as if you’re on a sunny all-inclusive vacation in paradise. So what if you have to ignore a few details and play up your imagination a little? Just be happy you’ve landed someone to look the part.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Relationships aren’t easy. If it were, would there be as many songs about it or books on how to get a clue? Keep this in mind as your brain hits a crazy place that has your jealousies raging out of control and your paranoia getting the better of you. What does this all mean? You’re in deep. How to set yourself free of this madness? Fess up and admit those three magic words.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You’ll be in that perfect romantic mindset to set the stage for all things beautiful in your love life, worshiping your honey and having the same awestruck emotions flooding back. However, because life is a bitch, things are never that easy. As much as you want the story to unfold flawlessly, realize the one glitch that has this from moving ahead? The workaholic in you.
Ever since John Edwards explained away his affair with Rielle Hunter, saying, “I started to believe that I was special and became increasing egocentric”, we’ve been thinking about how it is just SUCH a dealbreaker to date a guy who’s a narcissist. After all, who wants to end up in a bitter divorce battle like Christie Brinkley, whose ex-husband, Peter Cook, (who admitted to lying and cheating) was diagnosed as narcissistic by a court psychiatrist during their publicized divorce trial proceedings. But how do you tell if a person is a narcissist before you get caught up in their web of egocentricity? We took a look at the actual key factors in the diagnosis for narcissism and found out that a lot of women we know have the real life experience to back up the facts. All the info you need to know, after the jump… Keep reading »
Have you ever gotten a gift so ugly, so utterly not you, that you can’t even fake a kind response? That’s how I felt opening a box that contained the silver-plated, faux-turquoise-encrusted bracelet my then boyfriend gifted me one Christmas.
“Santa Fe fake?” I asked, slipping it over my hand, and removing it before it could turn my wrist green. I could tell that he was a little hurt, but c’mon. I had fire engine red hair and a pierced nose. He may as well have given me a beige mu-mu and a hairnet.
How does that old adage go? ‘Tis better to give than to receive? Generally, I disagree with this sentiment (after all, who doesn’t like presents?), but in that particular case it rang true. Gift giving and receiving introduces a whole new element of tension in even the most established relationships. Will it fit her? Do you think it’ll cover his bald spot? So I’m here to help you negotiate this treacherous terrain by making sure you don’t do the wrong thing. Keep reading »
Online dating has a pretty unfair stigma attached to it. After all, most of us probably spend at least half our day in front of a computer, so it stands to reason that we might as well multitask and meet someone there while we’re at it! Whether you’ve tried it before and been burned, had mixed results or are an online dating virgin (probably the only time you’ll ever be able to use that word again), there’s never been a better time to try it than now. There are the traditional sites like Match.com and eHarmony (which has finally gotten with the program by offering same-sex matching), as well as niche sites like Millionaire Match for wealthy individuals, FarmersOnly for rural dwellers, and TrekPassions for sci-fi fans. Who knows? You might just find the perfect New Year’s Eve date… and didn’t you say you wanted 2009 to be a year of new experiences? If you’re still mouse-shy, try a few tips from dating expert Alison Roth, who has consulted for numerous sites, including JDate, Match.com, and Yahoo! Personals, and helps people write profiles that get real results. Keep reading »
Reader Sarah took this photo in Florence. Since we don’t speak Italian, she translated it for us: “Good wishes to you who is the best thing that has ever happened to me…! I love you!”
My sister practically clutched her heart when I first told her. “But what about the children?” she demanded. I shook my head, completely speechless. Now, I have an answer: What’s going to happen to our — at this stage — hypothetical children if I don’t change my name? They’ll survive. Keep reading »