Hate to say it, but some romantic gestures are gross and cheesy and not at all what we want when a guy is trying to make a statement. That said, there are some really, really sweet, kind, funny things a man can do to melt our cold hearts. Here are the ten things we’d seriously rather you not do to woo us, plus ten gestures that really will turn us to mush.
Things That Are Intended To Be Romantic But Provoke Gag Reflex
1. Having your date get down on his knees at a movie theater and serenade you to New Edition’s “Mr. Telephone Man”.
2. Having your date order for you (um maybe I wanted the chicken?)
3. Rolling in money “Indecent Proposal” style. Money is one of the dirtiest and most germ-infested things on the planet.
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Emotional cripples. Religious zealots. Man-babies. My recent dating roster could serve as a police lineup of degenerates, liars, and serious letdowns. Naturally, I’m hypersensitive to red flags these days. So when a guy I’m interested in tells me that he’s a “bisexual,” shouldn’t I run? Perhaps. But once I got the initial panic out of the way (OK, I called my friend and frantically yelled, “911! 911!”), I let his confession marinate. Then I decided I’m not going anywhere. Or, if I do, it’ll have nothing to do with his half-gayness.
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You know what you ought to do before you turn 30 (1, 2, 3, 4), but what do you do afterward? Believe it or not, life doesn’t magically come into focus the second that you’re no longer 20-something. Creating the life you want in your 30′s takes work. To make the transition into your new decade as smooth as possible, here are a few tips for navigating those first 30 days. Keep reading »
Karma is a bitch; that’s the cliché you intensely learn as you hit the period of your life roughly between the ages of 27 and 31, as Saturn, the planet of reckoning, enters back to the position it was when you were born, throwing you into existential angst, creating merciless upheaval and forcing you to own up to who you are and your potential or sinking pitifully to the bottom. Everything you need to know about the Saturn Return, after the jump… Keep reading »
Yet another Stupid Study That Pretends To Reveal Something Interesting, But Doesn’t has been released, and claims that women “feel sexiest” at age 34. That seems to be the median age between when women are having the most sex (in their late 20′s) and when they’re enjoying sex the most (in their 40′s). I don’t know anyone who is exactly 34, so I couldn’t fact check the validity of this study, but it did get me thinking about ages and general life enjoyment. Aside from the totally awesome years in my childhood, I think that my 28th year was both the best year of my life and the worst. I started The Frisky and got engaged. Then, of course, I also had that engagement end because my fiance (who is also probably have the best/worst year of his life) decided to have an existential quarter-life crisis. I hope 29 is less bi-polar. What was the best/worst year of your life and why? Keep reading »
As a follow-up to last week’s list of 25 things a man should never say to a woman, after the jump are 25 things a woman should never say to a man.
1. But it didn’t mean anything, I promise
2. Is she prettier than I am?
3. It’s okay, it happens to everyone
4. It’s just a game
5. Let’s talk about it Keep reading »
“I am an Aquarius woman who has been with a Pisces man for four blissful months. Around the end of the fourth month, I was confronted by his other girlfriend whom I didn’t know existed. After hearing everything that went on and being so filled with fury, we both plotted and schemed to bring him down. But then, this man assured me that he had “emotionally” ended things with his girlfriend, that he never had sexual relations with her after meeting me and was planning to end it. We both agreed to bury the incident and try working on the relationship again.
The problem is, I continue to doubt and accuse him of lying to me when he is out with ‘friends’ and he can’t get over the things his other girlfriend told him about. She told him everything I said in anger and the things we plotted. Since then, he has not loved me the same and continually brings up the past every time we argue. I really love this man and want to work things out, but I wonder if things will ever be the same again. I feel as if my emotional walls are building back up and I am growing tired of my suspicion and his keeping a record of every wrong move. My birth date is 2/2/79, 9am, Korea. Please help.” – Ready to Give Up Keep reading »
Maybe it’s because we’re forced to deal with our families more than usual during the holidays, but these can be trying times for women without rings on their wedding fingers. Aunt Esther’s annual grab at your left hand and subsequent clucking over your naked ring finger is annoying, but you write it off because she’s senile and will die soon. When your cousin Myrna gasses on about her impending nuptials over eggnog, you actually feel a little sorry for her because you see the way her betrothed keeps eyeing her sister. But when your baby sister flashes the rock that her professor-turned-paramour put under the tree, you succumb to a little condition called “The Ring Tizzy.” Keep reading »
You thought you had it all figured out. Marry a rich guy, you’ll never have to work, and you can spend the rest of your life shopping. Unfortunately, the global recession has thrown a wrench into your well-crafted plans. Now that sugar daddy bank accounts are shrinking, trophy wives are discovering they may be s*** out of luck when it comes to living the good life. In the UK, a trophy wife named “Katie” finds out she’s going to have to cut back on her mani-pedis and seaweed wraps — not to mention having her black AmEx snipped in half. “You loser!” she screams at her husband. “You’ve destroyed my life!” Trophy wives are becoming “Toxic Wives,” as their love for their significant others dwindles in tandem with their hubbies’ bank balances. Divorce rates are rising, and “for richer, for poorer” no longer applies. One wealthy husband turned to his wife in the middle of the night and asked her if she’d love him if he lost everything. Her reply? “F— no!” As it turns out, most toxic trophy wives aren’t leaving their husbands to join the work force. They’re looking for new rich men to replace the newly poor ones. [Telegraph] Keep reading »
Common sense says to keep first dates light and breezy, to stay away from controversial topics, and to avoid discussing former relationships at all costs, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn some very important things about your date. In fact, it’s your obligation to learn six particular date traits to save yourself time and potential heartache. After the jump, the six things you’d be a fool not to find out about your date. Keep reading »