Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Grosses Me Out!”

My long-term boyfriend is a wonderful person. My only issue is that he’s a little lax about personal cleanliness. For example, last weekend he admitted that he’d had a nosebleed and cleared it out by blowing his nose in the shower. He told me this as an explanation for why I might see red flecks on the shower wall, as he’d cleaned up a bit while he was in the shower, but hadn’t gotten to everything. I got snippy/grossed out about why he’d told me this instead of just cleaning up the rest himself, but he just laughed it off before turning back to his video game and I calmed down after replacing my loofah, which had been in the line of fire. (This is gross, right? Or am I alone in this?) Another example is that I’ve been noticing for months that after he uses the bathroom at home, he barely runs the tap water — probably not long enough to use soap. I finally brought it up on our way to work today, and he explained that he only bothers with soap after #2 since he doesn’t “need” it after #1. I don’t want to start a fight over something trivial and sound like a nag, but I also don’t want to spend my days cleaning up his bodily fluids and cringing every time he touches our future children. How can I encourage him to up his standards a bit without sounding like his micromanaging ex? — Grossed Out

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6 Signs You Are Completely And Totally Over Him

This morning, as part of my pre-work routine, I logged onto Facebook and noticed it was my friend Joel’s birthday. As I was clicking over to his page to leave a “Happy birthday!” message on his wall, it suddenly occurred to me, Wait. That means it’s his birthday as well. My ex, that is. It had slipped my mind completely. It was the first year since we broke up that I had completely forgotten, where I didn’t have it on my mind for at least a few days, eager to use it as an excuse to email him — not because I wanted to get back together, mind you, but because I still was slightly invested in how he was doing and what he was up to. But this year, I forgot his birthday and wouldn’t have remembered if I hadn’t been reminded, inadvertently, by Facebook. As for using it as an excuse to email him? Meh. I have taxes to do.

It seems to me that forgetting an ex’s birthday is a pretty solid sign that you are over it. Over him, over the relationship, over the anger, over the heartbreak. Happy birthday, indeed! It took me a long while to get here, I’ll admit, but over the last few months I’ve noticed some other signs that I’ve officially closed the book on that relationship and how it ended. Keep reading »

Sweet Jealous Vs. Crazy Jealous: A Primer

As just about any episode of “Jersey Shore” can prove, there’s nothing more poisonous to a relationship than unbridled jealousy. (*cough* Ronnie and Sammi *cough*) Nothing is quite so off-putting as the insecurity that makes you not trust someone — or makes your partner think you can’t be trusted.

But let’s be honest: sometimes a little jealousy is appreciated. It shows he cares! I thought it was totally adorable last week when the dude I’m dating confessed to a bit of seeing green. We were at a party playing air hockey when a platonic male friend/former coworker of mine walked in. I stopped air hockey for a second and greeted my buddy warmly with a hug. Later on, my dude told me he felt a little twinge of jealousy watching me hug another guy (even though he knows we’re just friends). I thought, Aww, that’s silly — but cute that he cares! Even if jealousy isn’t always rational, it can be kind of sweet.

After the jump, a primer on “sweet jealous” versus “crazy jealous” — an important distinction: Keep reading »

Frisky Q&A: DeAnna Pappas On Finding Love, For Real This Time

DeAnna Pappas has had a long, strange ride on “The Bachelor.” First, she fell for Brad Womack, only for him to walk away without proposing to either woman at his final rose ceremony. Next, she came back as “The Bachelorette” and fell in love with quirky snowboarder Jesse Csincak, only to find out they weren’t compatible after all. Finally, she met the twin brother of a guy from Jillian Harris’ season of “The Bachelorette,” and fell in love—this time for real. And while she’s in the midst of planning her wedding, she had the surreal experience of sitting back on the couch and watching Brad get a second shot at “Bachelor”-dom.

On April 9th and 10th, DeAnna will be one of the guests of honor at the Reality Rocks Expo, a two-day conference celebrating the phenomenon of reality TV. To get ready, she sat down with The Frisky to talk about her upcoming wedding, what reality TV auditions are really like, and, of course, whether Brad and Emily will make it. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Offended Bridesmaid” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Offended Bridesmaid” whose sister, the bride, chastised her for not being skinny enough to fit into her bridesmaid dress. Offended Bridesmaid explained that she was worried she might have a thyroid problem, to which her sister responded: “I know your eating habits — you just eat too much.” After the jump, find out how the two sisters are doing today. Keep reading »

For The Week Of April 4-10, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Sudden offers that come in may leave you staring back with a condescending side-eye, but don’t be quick to judge anything now, as there is substance under the insanity. You know it — miscommunications will be underway and semantics can lead you astray, but experience will explain all, so forget the word, “No,” and make it a, “Yes,” all the way!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Relationships are a never-ending series of compromises that can tire the soul out and make you wonder what the point is. To say the least, this week that indecision will break you down even further, making you wonder what is so wrong with a life of solitude? However, the cross you bear is you are the sign of partnership, so understand there aren’t any easy answers or exits now.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Passion is going to make you want to leap off the ends of the earth to chase after the impossible, and there’ll be no reason not to. After all, it takes only one dream to lead the way and if you can’t believe in the fantastical, then what exactly are you living for? You are the lady that loves to prove the odds, so trust in them and redefine your limits now!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Forget trying to make any more excuses! If there isn’t a smile on your face and laughter pouring from your heart, then you aren’t in the right place and it’s time to change your trajectory back to what matters — a happy state of mind that has you feeling hopeful, rather than harmful. If this mean a sudden break, then so be it. After all, nothing beats a clean getaway.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You can’t always get what you want, so be ready to adapt and be resourceful. Not to say the circumstances that unravel this week are set in stone, but it won’t start off with you at the vantage point. Of course, playing victim does also have its rewards, so choose your position and work it for all you can.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Speak the truth and whatever happens, will happen. After all, you are doing no one any favors, especially yourself, with trying to candy-coat the circumstances if they aren’t for real. Besides, how will anyone learn any better if you can’t even come clean? Time to suck it up and just let it out, fast and straight up. From there, it’s out of your hands.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The safe comfort zone is not where your best comes out, so time to switch it up and let your creativity open some more doors for you — as in dreaming up new schemes and places to be. Changing things up now will bring on the best rewards, as it’ll take a surprise to activate bigger surprises.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This won’t be one of the most graceful weeks, but who cares? As long as you stay true to yourself, at the end of the twists and turns, you will come out the winner — and that is all anyone will remember anyway. So, don’t be scared to look the fool every so often now, as a little egg on your face might wind up being a look that works for you.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Let your past teach you something; someone will come back trying to rope you into a not-so-hot deal and if you think back on your history, you will be able to see how this travesty will play out. While compassion may fill your heart, don’t let it drown out your mind, as it’ll be the only thing partially making any sense now.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Who cares what others think or say, as it’s you that has to live with your curiosities and consequences. Yes, no matter what anyone is spewing, it’s you that has to walk through this fire called life. Try all you might to project yourself to what you want, but realize what you conjure up now will lack the real meat you need, so stop avoiding it and take that bite.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

This week, be prepared to defend your turf as another will try to close in on it and take it in as their own — and there’s no reason you need to play that kind of submissive role now anyway (at least not for anything outside the boudoir). Yes, get ready to speak out and act loud, as knowing who you are and what you want will make all the difference between winning and losing.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Forget trying to win every battle, as it’s about seeing the bigger picture now and taking the entire war. Yes, struggles will be happening, as philosophical differences take front-and-center in the drama department and will have you wondering how progressive you have to be. As it goes, there may be only so much rope you can let out before you’ll start to feel choked.

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