Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

How Did You Spend Your Wedding Night?

If you’re newly married, like I am, New York Magazine has a question for you. While they couldn’t care less about the “amazing D.J. who complied with your drunken friend’s repeated requests for Journey” or any other detail about your wedding day, they are interested in your wedding night. Specifically, they want to know if you got busy with your new spouse. Replies will be published (anonymously, of course) in their winter “Weddings” issue. For the record, after an intense week and a very emotionally-heightened day, I passed out fully clothed in a drunken stupor sometime between 2 and 3 a.m. on my wedding night. There were, however, several free hours between our lunch reception and the after-party at our apartment, and when someone asked how we were going to fill the time, I replied, “Consummate and decorate,” and that’s exactly what we did. [via NY Mag] Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Sorry, I Just Farted

Sorry we ruined this tender moment between Ashley Tisdale and her music director bf Scott Speer with a fart joke —not! But they were pretty puke-tastic, er, cute at the Teen Choice Awards. From the looks of this photo, Ashley’s working on a cover of Debbie Gibson’s “Lost in Your Eyes.” [Hollywood, 8/9/09] Keep reading »

Are You Stuck On Your First Love?

When I think of my first love — a guy I was hot for all through college and finally hooked up with in my last semester of school — I feel mostly relief our affair was relatively brief (about 10 months). There were some sweet moments in our relationship (dancing to Nina Simone in my living room, brewing our first batch of plum beer together, camping under the stars), but certainly not enough to sustain a life together, like he wanted. Thankfully, I was smart enough at 22 to suggest taking things slowly when he thought we should run off to a mountaintop in Colorado and get married “right away.” In the 10 years since we broke up, I’ve dated lots, have had several serious boyfriends, and got married to a wonderful man. That old boyfriend has had little, if any, impact on my love life since I last spoke to him a decade ago. Apparently, however, moving on past my first love makes me a bit of a rarity. Keep reading »

Kathy Griffin And Levi Johnston Are Together … Say Wha’?!

Kathy Griffin, 48, found a new partner in crime prime time, Levi Johnston, 19. Bristol Palin’s baby-daddy, who has been doing the talk-show circuit, escorted the D-lister to the Teen Choice Awards last night. Despite the terrified baby-animal-caught-in-a-cougar-trap look on his face, Levi talked some serious game. “She’s beautiful and funny. She’s the star of the night.” He even kissed her on the cheek! We shudder. [MSNBC] Keep reading »

For The Week Of August 10-16, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

If you have any itching and nagging sensations, do not blow them off. There is a reason you are twitching about with this anxiety and although you would like to go into denial about what truth could be staring you back in the face, it won’t go away on its own. If you want any resolution, you’re going to have to be the one to go get it.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Expecting your baby to want the best for you is obvious. This should be the least he provides for you, if he truly wants you to be his #1. Of course, what he thinks is good for you and what you want can be totally opposite. Unless you speak up and share your thoughts, you might be heading into a comical mess that if not caught quickly will turn tragic.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Emotionally, you’ll be feeling stuck. On one hand, you think you are getting what you want. On the other, it’s not exactly as you imagined. While you’re a pro at improv, realize it’ll be how you have to always operate if you want to stay on this current path—but God knows leaving it up to chance isn’t your strong suit. You know it: This week, it’s time to make some real decisions.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Don’t assume anything this week. What you be suspecting has a big chance of being the farthest thing from what your logic might drum up. Instead, be willing to talk everything out to the umpteenth degree, even if you think you are being annoying and too anal. It’ll be worth your while to pay attention to the details — and you have the right to do so.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Your sense of security gets scrutinized and it’ll mean streamlining your finances and getting into a super-practical state of mind. While this is your specialty, this probably won’t be your honey’s specialty. So, with that said, expect those uncomfortable money talks to mar your week with unavoidable stress.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Some compassion towards your boo will go far this week, as softening him into your clutches will make him loopy for anything you say and agreeable to any of your demands. Seems winning power won’t be so hard this week, but only if you make that sweet and loveable side of you last more than just a few hours.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you feel as if you’ve been living in rewind mode lately and you can’t seem to get your head out of the past, realize there is a bigger reason for it. There are deeper messages for you to comprehend than just sorting out smiles and sadness from days gone, as in a lesson you learned and forgot, or skipped over, that is going to come back to haunt you now.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Friendship should be the cornerstone to any relationship, and if you can’t have that, then the rest will be impossible to come by. However, if that is all you have and the sexy sparks have died down, that isn’t helping the matter either. Sure, you have someone to show up to parties with and to text you through the day, but is living in an image really that satisfying?

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Keeping a chipper sense of humor will work wonders in charming others to do as you say. As it goes, you will be dealing with an exorbitant amount of nimrods that’ll say the most awkward and irritating things to you, but giving in and letting them get under your skin won’t do you any good. Have fun with it and use your words to play them like the chew toys they are.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Resist over-exaggerating to get your points across, even during moments of the most whacked communications. Overcompensating won’t do anything but add to the slush pile of words that can corrupt the mind and heart of whom you wish to love, cherish and ravage. At best, less is way more this time around.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Remember, you’re loved. So why stress about anything else? Seeing that you’ve mastered the hardest part of existence — getting someone to give a crap about you — all else should be cake. However, once you stop freaking out and start sorting out the smaller steps to your bigger picture instead of trying to make one giant leap, all will be even better.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Generosity is not a quality you lack. However, just handing it over on a silver platter to any pretty face isn’t the most prudent thing to do — especially considering superficial allure is your kryptonite. This time, turn fate on her ass and change your method of operation around. Selfish behavior will be rewarded.

“Asian Trophy Wives”: A Label We Could Do Without

See that older white man over there with the younger Asian woman on his arm? That might not be love—that might be an Asian lady fetish. Author Ying Chu suspects as much, a subject she explores via an uncomfortable trend piece in Marie Claire about rich men like Rupert Murdoch and Woody Allen and the ladies she suspects are their “Asian trophy wives.”

“…[A]fter two or three failed attempts at domestic bliss with women of like background and age, these heavy hitters sought out something different. Something they had likely fetishized.”

Keep reading »

10 Things Women Don’t Understand About Men

There may be a few things men don’t understand about women, but seriously, despite being the “simpler” sex, there are still lots of things we don’t get about them (scratchy sheets, anyone?). After the jump, 10 things about men that confound and boggle. Keep reading »

Is It Possible To Remain Friends With An Ex?

We’ve all either said it or heard it at least once after a breakup: “Let’s be friends.” But is it a good idea to remain friends with an ex? Is it even possible? Was Billy Crystal’s character in “When Harry Met Sally” right when he said, “Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way”? Keep reading »

How To Kiss Well

I am an aficionado of the kiss. No other act is so simple and so intimate. The light suction, the flick of the lip, the playful nibble, the deep advance and retreat of the tongue—a good kiss is like jazz, an improvisation of melodies, flirtatious staccatos, and passionate brassy crescendos. A good kiss is a rapport enacted physically, like sex, but more erotic.
Keep reading » Episode 5

In episode five of “,” Merri’s online dating adventures are starting to become a full-time job, as she goes on multiple dates in one day. In fact, she’s starting to mix up her various gentleman admirers, but I guess that’s what happens when you accept every date you’re asked out on. Also, Merri is busted still wearing her engagement ring. Girl, NO. When the ex and I broke up, I took mine off immediately, though I have to admit, I did pull it out from time to time. My advice — put that bad boy in a safety deposit box and don’t pull it out until you’re ready to sell. Oh, and things are looking up for Merri … here comes Patrick. [] Keep reading »

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