Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Girl Talk: Neither A Trophy Nor A Tiger

When I first saw Wendi Deng Murdoch spike that foam-pie-throwing comedian-protestor’s head like a volleyball, I giggled with glee. Then I sighed with relief. Here, finally, was a portrayal of an Asian woman I could embrace. No timid China doll or obedient geisha, no mere trophy wife, Deng was the tiger wife, defending her assets – er, I mean husband – with a single, long-armed swipe.

But now I’m torn. While positive, tiger wife is still a stereotype, “a popular belief about specific social groups or types of individuals,” in this case Asian women of a certain age, and a tidy media invention banking on the popularity of Amy Chua’s tiger mother, and perhaps the Chinese phrase, lao hu, old tiger, said of ferocious older women. A stereotype with international appeal, and yet another one I’ll have to battle sooner or later. Keep reading »

9 Things I Dread About Dating

As some of you may have read, my dude and I split last week due to religious differences. You’ll be glad to know that I am on the mend; actually I’m feeling pretty good. I caught up with some friends I hadn’t seen in a while, cleaned out every nook and cranny of my bedroom, and indulged in habanero margaritas. Everything was fine until a friend asked if she could set me up with someone. That was when the panic set in. Oh crap, I have to date again at some point? I had forgotten about that. Maybe I am just more prone to neurosis than the average gal, but I have a list of things I dread about the early stages of dating, my worst case scenarios checklist, if you will. After the jump, the most anxiety provoking things about the early stages of dating. Can’t we just skip over all this crap and get to the comfortable part?

Keep reading »

The 5 Different Types Of Sluts

The 5 Different Types Of Sluts
The other night I was hanging out with a girl friend gossiping about someone we know who has banged everyone else we know. “She’s such a slut,” my friend said, making a face. “Hey there!” I said. “That’s not like you. Usually you only call someone a ‘slut’ in a positive sense.” This girl friend and I are always tongue-in-cheek calling ourselves “sluts” because we love and enjoy sex and seek it out for pleasure the way that men do. “Why are you being pejorative about sluts all of a sudden?” I asked her. “I’m not being pejorative about all sluts,” she said. “I just think there’s different kinds of sluts. I f**k guys because I like f**king. She f**ks them despite not actually enjoying it.” I thought about it and realized she might be on to something. “Slut” may be the definition of a promiscuous women, but there’s all kinds of women who’ve had lots of sex partners. Here are five types of “sluts” you may not have considered.

Girl Talk: Why Amy Winehouse’s Death Came As A Shock

amy winehouse photo

“It’s not really a shock.” When a famous person dies from causes related to drug or alcohol addiction, this, or something similar, is one of the more common responses people have. While there are plenty of crueler things people can and do say, this bored and blase lack of surprise over the death of a human being tends to bother me the most.

That is because my father is an addict. He’s been an addict my entire life. And to not be shocked by someone’s death at the hands of addiction would mean I would have to have to reached some sort of placid acceptance that my dad will also inevitably suffer the same fate — that his getting “better” is out of the question. Keep reading »

Flowchart: Should You Take Your Friendship To The Next Level?

There’s the age old question, “Can men and women just be friends?” But there’s a second question that’s practically as ancient: “Should you just be friends or take it to the next level?” The upcoming film “One Day,” starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess, explores that very notion by introducing audiences to Emma and Dexter, a pair of Brits that spend the night together their last night of college, and then decide to just be friends. The film — check out the trailer here — then shows them each year on the same date to see where they are in their lives. Sometimes they’re together, sometimes they not, but you’ll have to watch the movie to see whether they end up together in the end. Keep reading »

For The Week Of July 25-31, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll have amazing flashes of genius this week, which can open up a lot of exciting opportunities for you — if you put it into play now. Yes, it’s not a time for hesitation, as this is the moment you’ve been waiting for — all those ducks are in a row and it’s time for you to launch the initiatives one-by-one. The future is now!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You can’t care what everyone else will think, because this week those opinions will be running rampant and you’ll have to be the one to break free of all that static to know what you want and go for it anyway. Screw peer pressure. What has the herd mentality gotten you before? This time, say and do what you must, and do it loudly and proudly, as liberation is your sex now.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Whatever you are feeling, trust it. Nothing has to make sense in a linear way now, and if you try to add two plus two, it won’t add up anyway. Yes, this is when your imagination and intuition will have to lead the way, but don’t you worry, as you’ll find that the only thing holding you back is your own self-judgment and procrastination.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Perfection is a state of mind, and despite the dented cans that come your way, you can still see the beauty and potential within. This is your gift, as it is your curse. However, this week, it’ll play in your favor, as being able to see beyond those mired surfaces will make you the lucky winner of a treat that’s worth its weight in emotional and spiritual gold.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Nobody ever said love was easy, but only you can make it less difficult — as in, if you want to get, you’d better give. Enough of the keeping score and thinking balance can be struck using mathematics. As it goes, this time you just have to extend yourself generously because you care, not because you want something.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Trust you have the upper hand, because you do. No matter what that other says or wants you to think, don’t believe it. Ultimately, all that bull is just subtle manipulation that you don’t have to fall prey too. As it goes, some people just don’t give in easy, and that will have nothing to do with you, so don’t even play those games. For now, keep your eye on the prize and conquer!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You may hear all that you want to hear from your baby, but it’s their actions afterwards that will be what you should really pay attention to. Seems they’ll be pouring it on thick and while it might be true, unless they can actually execute what they lay on you, it’s as good as a hill of beans. While they might not be lying, it will produce another form of disappointment

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Despite all the brakes your brain might be pulling, forget logic and just go and have yourself a good time. After all, there are only so many opportunities for fun in a given week, and as this one kicks off, it’ll mean grabbing the irons while they’re still hot. Sure, you might get a little burned, but understand that tiny sting will be what it takes to wake you up again.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Comfort and security are what turn you on. So, as life settles into a more regulated routine, expect this will be exactly what floats your boat. Seems being able to be calm will be what brings out that wilder woman inside you, as buying the cow after tasting the milk is what makes you hungrier for more. Hoorah, empty calories l’amour no more!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Nothing you say or feel has to be set in stone, so if you want to go that extra mile to let out all those feelings and thoughts you’ve had pent up in you, do it. For now, it’s about the moment and setting down the foundation for the future. So, feel free to put it on the line, as the deeper the roots you set, the stronger they will be. Sure, it might change again, but for now, it’s one step at a time.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Feel what you feel and own it. While you might feel the pressure to have to say it too, realize you don’t. For now, it’s just about what you need to do for you and if that means analyzing all the nuances of what you want, where you want to go, etc., then so be it. As it goes, it’s your peace of mind that needs the sorting out now, so set those priorities correctly.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Life is going to get a bit more complex, as it becomes more obvious what you want in love, leaving you to wonder if that other person is on the same page. It seems there will be some slight lagging behind by them, which could lead you to have to be a bit more charming. Sure, a little humbling, but easy enough to solve.

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