• Relationships

What Do You Do If Your Boyfriend Becomes A Smoker?

My boyfriend just came back from a semester abroad in Paris — and he came back a smoker. I am not a smoker. Never have been, never will be. I couldn’t smoke during high school as I was dancing professionally for an opera company, and by the time I got to college it just didn’t seem like a big deal anymore. Smoking has just never really been on my radar; I know it’s bad for you, obviously, but I don’t feel the need to go protest outside Phillip Morris.

I’ve never dated a smoker because I never liked a guy that did smoke. I am not sure if it’s because I don’t like smokers, or none of the guys I was into happened to smoke, or if there is any difference between the two. Maybe if they had smoked I wouldn’t have been attracted? Impossible to know. All of that has changed now. Keep reading »

Recession Proof Rendezvous: Five Free Ways To Get Laid

The recession is hitting everyone in their bank account, but there’s no reason it should slow down your man income. So, if you’re broke as a joke and can’t afford to go shellin’ out dough at bars, here are some ways you can meet new people without dropping a dime. Hey, the best things in life are free!

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How Long Should You Wait Before Getting Engaged?

My favorite sex and relationship columnist, Dan Savage, is now on Nerve and a few days ago he tackled a question from a woman who revealed she started talking marriage with her boyfriend three months into their relationship. Savage balked at this admission. His response, after the jump…
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10 Reasons Not To Have Kids Yet…Or Ever

Cameron Diaz thinks your kids are bad for the environment.

Well, no, not really. But she told Cosmopolitan she thinks women shouldn’t be pressured into procreating or “shunned” for not having kids because “honestly, we don’t need anymore kids. We have plenty of people on this planet already.”

While we agree with Cameron that it’s b.s. women still get hassled for not raising rugrats, we can think of far better reasons than old Mother Nature for staying childless. Our reasons, after the jump…

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Dating Don’ts: What Secrets Should You Reveal In A Relationship?

How much do you really need to know?

I still remember the day I walked into my house only to be confronted by my entire family staring at me like I was an alien as my mother shrieked through her tears, “Thank god you’re home—I thought you were dead!!!”

Um, what? Keep reading »

What’s The 80/20 Rule?

Last night I watched Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married?” for the first time. (I know, I’m a little late, but I didn’t want to get hit over the head with religious talk, as Perry is known for.) It was an entertaining movie, but what really stuck out to me was the theory of the “80/20 Rule,” which I had never heard of. The rule says that men can have a wife or girlfriend who fulfills 80 percent of his needs, but he’ll go looking for someone else to make up the remaining 20 percent. He’ll leave the woman who takes care of him because the chick on the side is more exciting, sexual, and basically new. But soon after, the man will realize the 20 percent he has now pales in comparison to the 80 percent he already had. In a quest to have 100 percent of his needs fulfilled, he ends up with less than when he started. This kind of reminds me of the idea that twentysomethings are too narcissistic to find a mate — supposedly, we want all or nothing in a mate. Do you think there’s any validity to the 80/20 Rule? And does it apply to women too? Keep reading »

Is It A Proposal If There Isn’t A Ring?

Times are tough around the world, and we’re all cutting back in some area of our life. In Japan, one common cost-cutting measure seems to be diamond engagement rings. The percent of men who bought engagement rings will slip from 1993′s 80 percent to just 50 percent this year, according to estimates from the Yano Research Institute. Some couples are deciding to spend more on wedding bands, or to buy watches or other jewelry rather than investing in a rock. Certainly, people shouldn’t purchase engagement rings they can’t afford, but do you think it’s even necessary for a man to propose with a ring? We asked three women for their thoughts. Keep reading »

Is Narcissism Keeping You Single?

It’s no secret that people are getting married later these days than in previous generations, and in this culture of hook-ups and “modern female dating anxiety,” we’re at no loss for theories that explain why. Some people say today’s twentysomethings are delaying marriage to focus on careers and build close friendships instead, but another explanation paints a less flattering picture of young people: apparently, they’re all just a bunch of narcissists. In an article on The Daily Beast this week, writer Hannah Seligson, explores this theory, writing: “narcissism, even in small doses, has shifted courtship into a high-stakes relationship culture. Now that people think more highly of themselves, expectations of what a relationship should be like have skyrocketed into the realm of superlatives. Twentysomethings not only expect to waltz into high-level career positions right out of college, they also expect partners who have the moral fortitude of Nelson Mandela, the comedic timing of Stephen Colbert, the abs of Hugh Jackman, and the hair of Patrick Dempsey.” Keep reading »

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell: What Do You Do While Away From Your Boo?

My first semi-legit boyfriend was a year older than me and leaving for college while I was still a lowly high school senior. It was essentially over when he boarded the plane to Connecticut, but the first few school breaks bore strikingly few signs that anything had changed. Where I expected stilted awkwardness there was a normalcy that almost made me forget that I’d been kissing other boys and he’d probably been screwing everything that walked slow enough to be caught. We’d unwittingly invoked the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy, beloved by oft-separated couples everywhere: do what you like while apart and then act as though nothing happened when together.

Eventually, of course, we broke up because we were too far apart, I had grown taller than him and and we’d both moved on. But for a few months, Don’t Ask, Don’t tell was surprisingly useful and believable. Peripherally, we both knew that everything was different and a bit sloppier, but it didn’t so much matter as long as we neglected to say anything about it. I called it selective memory, my friends called it “deluded” and opinion on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell remains sharply divided. It worked out for me but it’s been suggested that’s only the case because I have “the emotional range of a snail.” (Thanks Mom.)

In an effort to put together slightly more empirical data on the merits and pit falls of extracurricular action while the boyfriend’s away, I’ve hit up some people who’ve had their way with others and then gone about their girlfriend/boyfriend business to see how it worked for them. Check out their answers after the jump and let us know if it’s worked–or failed miserably–for you in the comments. Keep reading »

What Makes A Man Date-able?

Marie Claire‘s sensitive man, Rich Santos, feels like he’s undateable. In fact, he’s even made a list of reasons women won’t touch him. He blames his solitude on the habits of longtime bachelordom, his need to be the center of attention, his motormouth, and his not-so-smooth dance moves. (Of the latter, he wrote: “Uncorking the River Dance, or a late ’80s rap move, doesn’t get me anywhere. Also, I employ semi-gay ‘summoning power from the Heavens’ Celine-Dion-like hand gestures.”)

Hey Rich, we’ve got one more to add to your list of red flags — dating a relationship blogger. Sigh, just look at what a mess of our own love lives we Frisky gals have made! But since we are Rich’s female counterparts, we decided to answer his question for the ladies: “What makes a guy more ‘dateable’ to you?” Oh, we’ll tell you what women want, right after the jump.

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