So I’m sure by now you’re all completely over the whole royal wedding thing.You’re tired of the wedding plans and the photos and the guest lists and the entire country of England. I get it. But I’m going to bring it up one last time because I just can’t seem to wrap my head around this one concept.
According to sources, the prince and his blushing bride will be inviting six of their exes to the wedding. (Two of hers. Four of his.) And apparently there’s some sort of etiquette behind this that requires them to do so. But I mean, come on. I know they’re royalty and all and they don’t have much of a choice, but is this something the rest of us are going to have to do as well? I hope not. Because I definitely won’t be inviting my exes anywhere. I don’t even want to see them at the coffee shop never mind at the rehearsal dinner…
This train of thought of course, got me thinking about my own ex encounters, which had me cringing and triumphing at each one in turn. And this of course had me thinking about the dos and don’ts of ex-boyfriends, and that, of course, is how you wound up with this list. Read more… Keep reading »
I yawn, rest my head on my pillow, roll on my side and close my eyes. “Knee,” I say to my husband. He flutters his eyes open and grunts an “I’m sleeping” noise. “Your knee, my love, is jabbing into my back. Can you move it?” As he readjusts his position, he rests his arm on my feet — Oy, this is even more uncomfortable. I tap my feet against his bicep to get his attention. “Your arm,” I tell him. “It’s resting on my feet.”
“Where else can I put it?” he asks. Keep reading »
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Finally, my least favorite form of electronic communication has been demystified. I never understood the point of “poking” on Facebook. If you want to talk to me, why not just send me a message or write on my wall? It seems like a whole lot of trouble for nothing, considering I’ve never returned a Facebook poke in my life. I guess I just didn’t know how to respond. Do you return a poke with a poke? A message? Too confusing. This makes things a whole lot clearer. [I Love Charts] Keep reading »
I was 14 and I was having slippery feelings. I was having them for Roelle, the sophomore with giant tits who told me she liked my shirt, before crawling under a wool blanket to make out with her boyfriend on the front lawn of the high school. I was having them for Eleanor, who told me it was her dad’s birthday the three times I asked her to hang out. I was even having them for Colleen, who was only 4’7”, and who ate her height in Taco Bell tacos, and who therefore smelled like she had been bathing in a vat of expired salsa. Keep reading »
On Tuesday’s “Ellen DeGeneres Show,” teensy-tiny actress Hayden Panettiere, who’s 5-foot-1, told DeGeneres that fans are always approaching her and asking how she manages to have sex with her boyfriend, 6-foot-6 Ukrainian heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko. “I get the rudest prudest people coming up to me, and they’re like, ‘Does it work?’” Panettiere said. “Yeah, it works. We find a way.” She went on to say that the people who are the most curious about their bedroom habits are conservative types. Well, call me a pervert (or would it be a prude?), but after I heard that little anecdote, I started to wonder the same thing about … well, everybody. It can’t be easy for Kim Kardashian, 5-foot-2, and her current ’baller beau, Kris Humphries, 6-foot-9, to get horizontal. Same goes for everyday couples with different proportions that we see walking down the street hand in hand. So how can partners who have totally different body types have the hottest sex possible? A few of the country’s top sexperts offered their opinions on the perfect down-and-dirty positions for “mismatched” partners…
Another day, another affliction that women suffer from. Today it’s Midlife Mirror Angst Syndrome which, according to a new study, is a syndrome that 90 percent of women in their 40s and 50s suffer from. It is a glorified way of saying that most middle-aged women hate what they see when they look in the mirror because they are old. Oh, and society is ageist in case you weren’t aware.
Changes wrought by age, combined with a youth-obsessed fashion industry, led to a dramatic drop in body confidence for women the older they get — resulting in Midlife Mirror Angst Syndrome … There’s no psychological underpinning for this, but the fact remains that at midlife, women can feel invisible — or at worse, unattractive.
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