I made decision when I was a young adult on the kind of regrets I’d try to have: I want to regret only the things I did do, not the things I didn’t. So far it’s worked out just as I’ve hoped. I have never had to look back and wish I had fallen deeply in love, or traveled around Europe when I was young, or quit a steady job to freelance write fulltime, because I’ve done all of those things. I’m proud that I have very few regrets about things in my life I have done — very, very few, like, I’m struggling to think of examples now. But as each month brings more and more distance between myself and a devastating heartbreak I suffered with the guy I wanted to spend my life with, one regret is becoming pronounced. I look back now and I’m not proud of all the small compromises that I made for him without, I think, getting as much as I should have in return. Keep reading »
I spent much of my twenties locked in one simpering relationship after another. I don’t blame the guys I dated, but rather the choices I made, and I’m determined that somebody learn from — and avoid — my crappy decisions. Take a look at these seven tips — and please, feel free to add your own in the comments. Keep reading »
How did I miss this masterpiece at the library by author Big Boom? What a funky nom de plume by the way! I look forward to learning more about how to keep my legs closed. [This Isn’t Happiness] Keep reading »
I read Eliza Jules’ essay “I Obsessively Monitor My Husband’s Lube Bottle” over at xoJane and was left with this question: Is a partner’s masturbation something we should worry about? The more I’ve thought about it, though, the more I’ve concluded that, for me, I’m at the very opposite end of the spectrum as Jules; I’d be worried if someone I was dating didn’t masturbate, all the more so if I was the cause behind them holding off in the self-love department. I also wouldn’t expect someone’s firmly entrenched patterns of masturbation and porn use, especially if I met them well into their adult life, to change just because they were with me.
I’ll even go so far as to say I would definitely not want to be the sole source of my partner’s masturbation fodder. Part of it? Sure. But imagine the pressure if every single time they jerked off, they were thinking about you. That would creep me out a bit, and while I’m not an expert, I don’t think that’s a realistic goal, especially when you’re talking about long-term relationships. Keep reading »
One of the most frequently asked questions in the world of dating has got to be “If they’re not your significant other, than what the hell are they?” Well, pre-exclusive relationships (or PXRs) don’t have to be a frustrating grey area anymore. Here’s a handy guide to the 9 most common types of PXRs, all converted into abbreviations for easy texting. Keep reading »