Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Girl Talk: Compromising Positions

I made decision when I was a young adult on the kind of regrets I’d try to have: I want to regret only the things I did do, not the things I didn’t. So far it’s worked out just as I’ve hoped. I have never had to look back and wish I had fallen deeply in love, or traveled around Europe when I was young, or quit a steady job to freelance write fulltime, because I’ve done all of those things. I’m proud that I have very few regrets about things in my life I have done — very, very few, like, I’m struggling to think of examples now. But as each month brings more and more distance between myself and a devastating heartbreak I suffered with the guy I wanted to spend my life with, one regret is becoming pronounced. I look back now and I’m not proud of all the small compromises that I made for him without, I think, getting as much as I should have in return. Keep reading »

Learn From My Crappy Personal History: 7 Relationship & Dating Mistakes I Made In My 20s

I spent much of my twenties locked in one simpering relationship after another. I don’t blame the guys I dated, but rather the choices I made, and I’m determined that somebody learn from — and avoid — my crappy decisions. Take a look at these seven tips — and please, feel free to add your own in the comments. Keep reading »

How To Get Closure In Your Relationship

How did I miss this masterpiece at the library by author Big Boom? What a funky nom de plume by the way! I look forward to learning more about how to keep my legs closed. [This Isn’t Happiness] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Want My Boyfriend To Fantasize About Other Women

I read Eliza Jules’ essay “I Obsessively Monitor My Husband’s Lube Bottle” over at xoJane and was left with this question: Is a partner’s masturbation something we should worry about? The more I’ve thought about it, though, the more I’ve concluded that, for me, I’m at the very opposite end of the spectrum as Jules; I’d be worried if someone I was dating didn’t masturbate, all the more so if I was the cause behind them holding off in the self-love department. I also wouldn’t expect someone’s firmly entrenched patterns of masturbation and porn use, especially if I met them well into their adult life, to change just because they were with me.

I’ll even go so far as to say I would definitely not want to be the sole source of my partner’s masturbation fodder. Part of it? Sure. But imagine the pressure if every single time they jerked off, they were thinking about you. That would creep me out a bit, and while I’m not an expert, I don’t think that’s a realistic goal, especially when you’re talking about long-term relationships. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “We Don’t Have Sex Anymore”

My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. We used to have sex several times a day, but over the past six months it has decreased significantly. We are in an intense graduate program, so last semester both of us were quite swamped with work and lost our libidos. After the stress of the semester was over, things picked up again over winter break. But now, this semester, neither of us has the excuse of a “ton of work” anymore. I have asked him why we don’t have sex (at this point, it has been about three weeks) and his response is “because you’ve been mean to me recently, and when you’re mean it does not make me attracted to you.” That’s fine. I can work on being a nicer person and better girlfriend. But I feel like it’s a vicious cycle — I’m mean, so he doesn’t want to bang. But then I’m nice and since we are still not banging I freak out and get worried and thus become mean again. So my question: should I shut up and work on being nicer instead of expecting our sex life to turn around on its own? — Mean Girl

Keep reading »

The 9 Types Of Pre-Exclusive Relationships

One of the most frequently asked questions in the world of dating has got to be “If they’re not your significant other, than what the hell are they?” Well, pre-exclusive relationships (or PXRs) don’t have to be a frustrating grey area anymore. Here’s a handy guide to the 9 most common types of PXRs, all converted into abbreviations for easy texting. Keep reading »

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