Reader Mariana sent us this stenciled graffiti from the Plateau neighborhood of Montreal.
Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
“I’ve had a couple of dreams lately where at some point in my dream I become aware that I am dreaming. I don’t wake up, but I actually feel awake and can control my thoughts as I do when I’m awake. For example, I’ve had a reoccurring dream where I am in my childhood bedroom (I haven’t lived there for 20 years) and I see myself sleeping on the bed and the room looks exactly the way it did when I was 8. I see the ceiling fan above me and I look down and notice that I am asleep on the bed. Then I tell myself that I am dreaming and I that I can fly because it’s just a dream. And then I float up really easily toward the ceiling and enjoy my flight. What does this mean? It’s weirding me out.” – Wide Awake Fast Asleep Keep reading »
I emailed a few months ago about a lesbian couple — an Aquarius and a Libra. Your advice was to break up with her and I did, after a few months. Then we got back together and broke up again, all because I don’t know if I’m gay or straight. I know this isn’t what you usually do, but my friends suck at giving advice, and I have no one else to talk to.
I love her, I do, but I think it is more of the “I’m comfortable with you, and I care about you a lot,” kind of love — the friend kind. I want her in my life, but I know that if we break up again, she’ll be crushed. She might use the suicide thing against me again and I know I can’t take that. She is completely head over heels for me, and I’m never sure what I feel for her. I don’t get the sparks when we kiss anymore, but I get them when I see a girl and a guy kiss in a movie or what have you. I’m actually 90 percent sure I’m straight, but then there are days that I think I could stay with her forever. I’m about to start college in the fall, and I would really like to know what I’m doing when I get there. – Confused One Keep reading »
Blame my older sister, the kindergarten teacher, but I believe in the Golden Rule. Whether you’re my boss, my intern, my boyfriend or my third-cousin-twice-removed, I will treat you with the same amount of respect as everyone else.
Why am I wired this way? Other kids were really cruel to me from grade school through high school—whether putting Scotch tape in my hair during class, calling me “Cabbage Patch Kid” because of my chubby cheeks, or circulating my name on a list where girls were ranked by their hotness and I was rated 3 out of 10. That stuff made me feel terrible most of the time and I don’t want anyone knowing what that’s like. Instead, I try to be kind to every person, regardless of how popular/attractive/smart they are, and not be a kiss-ass, ever.
It’s striking to me, though, how not being an ass-kisser has ruined my friendships with some very pretty women. In fact, my only friendship Titanics have happened when I’ve stood up to extraordinarily beautiful women and lost out. The Pretty Girl wanted me to play by her rules; I didn’t want to do it, so Pretty Girl read me the friendship riot act and ditched me. Forever. Keep reading »
Nothing spells quarter-life crisis more than turning your world upside down to move to France without much thought as to how it will affect your career, happiness, relationships, or bank account.
I am about to turn 24 in a few days. And a few days after that, I’m packing up my life into two suitcases (somehow) and moving to Paris for a year. While I don’t quite fit into the mid-twenties bracket when the quarter-life crisis traditionally sets in, I knew about six months ago that it was beginning to happen.
Two years out of college, the regularity of my life had become puzzling. On the one hand, I realized how I was settling in with the idea of being a “grown-up.” On the other, the lack of transitions was starting to get to me. It’s ironic how you spend the first 22 years (if not more) of your life in transition with markers of beginnings and ends. Change, to me, was a comforting constant.
During this two-year period, I began dreaming of Paris. I’d spent my junior year abroad there. It wasn’t the most fantastic year of my life, and I even left the city thinking I’d never be able to live there again, but, yeah, I changed. A lot. Keep reading »
So you’ve made it through the horrifying breakup with someone you cared about … now what? To be friends or not to be friends, that is the question. Most of the time I like to make a nice clean break adhering to a “no contact” and “no getting back together” policy. I’ve learned from experience that this is a necessary move for me to heal my ailing heart and move on. In time, I am usually content to be “acquaintances with history,” exchanging an email every once in a while or having friendly drinks with the exes that I still respect. But that’s only after time has passed and I’ve removed the rose-colored glasses that I used to gaze at him through. And, of course, there are the guys that I know I won’t ever see or speak with ever again … those that have committed offenses of the heart too heinous to be forgiven in this lifetime. But it’s not always so black and white. Some people are worth keeping in your life. Keep reading »
Confusion will make you dizzy, as everyone and their grandmother will spew opinions about your love life. Friends, your subconscious, your neighbors, and even the IT guy at your office will say things that’ll sound significant. However, you don’t have to make a decision right away; so don’t freak yourself out more than necessary. If he can’t wait, he’s not worth it.
So yeah, you’re social. You like going out, meeting people and, yes, you like to talk. The problem with that this week is your exaggerated words might come back to haunt you. Be prudent with what info you share with not-so-close acquaintances. Sure, shock-value confessions will give you the spotlight, but don’t risk that price to pay. It won’t be worth it.
Your patience finally comes to a head, as you get answers you’ve waited ages on. You’ll discover whether your insane optimism is truly a blessing or a curse. Yes, what actually occurs over this week will depend on the tracks you’ve laid in the past. So, if it goes swimmingly, know there is a method to your madness. Otherwise, back to the drawing board and, perhaps, a shrink.
Love won’t be coming to you on a silver platter right now, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t treats to be had. This week it’s all about working it in a new style and with a new agenda. Ask around, call up different friends, and venture off into uncharted territories. The more cunning and adventurous you are, the more surprising the finale will be.
Take the plunge in a big way, like book a foreign adventure with your current boo! Testing your commitment is a big bonus now, as it seems you both have been chomping at the bit to see some indication that there is hope for a future together. There’s nothing like being thrown into the exotic unknown to see how your team work will survive.
An intense feeling of love and admiration will instantly wash over you for the one you’re with or the one you want to be with — but don’t let that haze blind you into believing that person can walk on water. Seriously, a happy relationship isn’t always about some crazy unconditional state of mind. It’s about respect. Until you master that, stop making more promises than necessary.
To get an accurate trajectory of your relationship, look to the details — and not with compassion. Sure, he might get the big things right, as in remembering your birthday and being kind to your friends, but if he’s not good with the little things, this is your time to pinch him a little harder to get maximum perfection. A little gentle nudging will bring results.
As the sign of war, you love a good fight, but this week it can go all-out ugly. So be careful about the battles you choose and how you go about trying to prove your points. A little honey will go a lot farther than vinegar. If you want to actually get some tension-releasing sex out of this deal, it’ll mean throwing in a bit of diplomacy with your snarkiness.
Be ready to jump over obstacles and get creative when it comes to getting the attention of that hot someone you’ve been sweating. This isn’t the time for synchronicity to work in a linear manner and the stakes will be high, so think fast and move faster. The good news is that if you do solve this riddle, your rewards will be plenty.
No matter how sweet the intentions you share with your baby, it doesn’t always mean you’ll see eye-to-eye on everything. Tastes and experiences will differ from moment to moment and it’ll be up to you to determine if you can negotiate around the situation. Of course, not all journeys will bring back gold. That’s just the way the ball bounces.
Hurry up and say what’s on your mind. You have no more time to lose – get off the fence! If you want to step up to the plate and take responsibilities for your emotions, it’ll mean being courageous enough to claim your prize. Not to say you have to have your whole plan worked out, but at least get the materials to build your dream life.
Batting your eyes and dropping subtle hints is all you have to do to take that next step. If you try to do anything more, you will only regret you’ve made such grand efforts. In this phase of gaining dominance, you only have to be smart and efficient with how you express yourself. A little will go long enough.
I was raised in a household that revolved around my mother. She was a narcissist, someone who, according to Wendy Behary, director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed is “often self-absorbed and preoccupied with a need to achieve the perfect image (recognition, status, or being envied) and have little or no capacity for listening, caring, or understanding the needs of others.” My mom hasn’t been formally diagnosed—few narcissists seek treatment or even recognize that they have a problem—but growing up, the signs were all around me. Read more …
Finding a boyfriend is only the beginning when it comes to relationship woes. Once you’re in one, you have to deal with another person, including the parts that annoy you despite your love for him. We asked 15 women to dish on what their partners do that completely drives them crazy, and how they’ve learned to cope (or not) with these behaviors.