• Relationships

New Marriage Stats Get Us Down, Then Pick Us Right Back Up

Did you know that over half of married women regret walking down the aisle with their husbands? If you said yes, well, then you know some disgruntled peeps. Just kidding! According to a recent survey of 35,000 women, happily ever after is only for the movies. Duh. While most women admitted they didn’t believe in a “soul mate,” a whopping 72 percent said they have considered leaving their husbands. But comparing those figures to the divorce rate, 20 percent of them are chickens who stick it out. Worse yet, half of ‘em were also completely bored in the boudoir or couldn’t remember the last time they had any kind of freaky deaky fun. Dang, if you can’t grab your husband and say, “Yum, yum, gimme some,” what is the point? Especially since 79% of those surveyed admitted a woman has got needs. Alas, I’m single and I thought it was hard to get laid, but marriage sounds worse…sigh. What is there to look forward to? Keep reading »

Dating Amelia: Maybe I Wasn’t Ready For This

I have a confession to make. I hate dating. Except for when I love it, and I only love it fleetingly, before my insecurities set in and I start to go cuh-razy. In those fleeting moments I think to myself, “This is great! I’m young, I’m unattached, and there’s an attractive person sitting across from me who I may or may not make out with later.” And then later, after we have or have not made out, the wheels start turning, and I begin to wait for the inevitable letdown that, as cynical as this may sound, I assume is right around the corner. Keep reading »

What Makes A Relationship Successful?

Sandra Tsing Loh’s essay, “Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off” in this month’s Atlantic, which advises people to avoid marriage lest they “suffer the emotional pain, the humiliation, and the logistical difficulty” of divorce is raising a few eyebrows and some interesting questions. In response to Tsing Loh’s confession that after 20 years her marriage has failed, Meghan O’Rourke at Double X wonders: if a marriage that lasts 20 years, produces “two kids and a lot of domestic support” isn’t a success, what is? Why is a marriage considered successful only if it ends in death and not before? Is a marriage that ends in divorce really less successful than an unhealthy, dysfunctional, perhaps even abusive relationship that remains legally intact? Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How NOT To Settle

When I questioned a friend about why she was marrying a guy whom she found only mildly attractive, didn’t enjoy having sex with and wasn’t in love with, she told me this: “Marriage isn’t about love, it’s about finding the person who gets on your nerves the least.”

I recall being both horrified and saddened by her cynicism. But as I pondered it further, I wondered if she might have a point. I was single at the time. A long-term relationship had gone bust a few years earlier and after a hyper-extended mourning period I’d been dating a seemingly non-stop parade of utterly unsuitable suitors. Keep reading »

What If Your Mother Married A Rapist?

Shudder. Double X has a creepy tale penned by Anna Balkrishna about how her mother married her prison pen pal. Oh, and why was he in jail in the first place? Rape, it turned out. After 22 years of marriage, Balkrishna’s parents divorced. Not long after, Balkrishna’s mother happened to get a random, out-of-state, collect phone call from a man incarcerated at a New Mexico prison. (Apparently, this is one way guys in jail meet women.) For whatever reason, she accepted the charges, and there began their relationship. Then, they got married. After that, her mother found out that he had not been convicted of vehicular manslaughter, as he had told her, but rape. Balkrishna’s mother had been raped in college, but this revelation didn’t deter her. Eventually, it came to light that there were other rape charges — and a mistress. In 2006, the mother’s husband was released. He cheated on her and began using drugs again. These days, he’s back in prison for assaulting his first wife. Today, her mother doesn’t regret the relationship: “‘I chose that life myself,’ she says.” Would you date a guy who had a criminal past? [Double X] Keep reading »

Why Marrying For Money Isn’t A Totally Bad Idea

There’s a new book out called Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream—And How They Are Paying For It, by Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake. Forget for a moment that they annoyingly refer to grown women as “girls” in their title and check out their thesis: because, for a variety of reasons, men earn more money than women, it’s a wise move to marry someone who can provide for you and your family. Keep reading »

How To Embrace A Long-Distance Relationship

“I took a job in another city, which will cause me to be away from my husband for long periods of time. What can we do to make our long-distance relationship work?” Phoebe, New York

Want more? Visit YourTango.com or check these out:

  • How To Woo Him With Your Phone Voice
  • How To Make Long-Distance Love Work
  • The Economics of Long-Distance Love Keep reading »
  • 10 Tips For Surviving Your Quarterlife Crisis

    Christine Hassler, self-proclaimed “twentysomething and quarter-life crisis expert,” — the same Christine Hassler who runs an expensive “transformational” workshop she calls ”Chrysalis” — is sharing ten tips over on Huffington Post on surviving your twenties. While her tips are a little bit like telling an alcoholic not to drink or an over-eater to avoid the buffet table, they aren’t completely idiotic. After the jump, I translate her ten tips. Keep reading »

    Best Missed Connection Ever

    A few years ago after attending the Pitchfork music festival in Chicago, I went home and wrote up a joke Missed Connection ad that went something like: “You: Cute girl with pigtails, huge sunglasses, lots of necklaces, dirty ballet flats, and an American Apparel t-shirt. Me: Beard, dark-rimmed glasses, Urban Outfitters t-shirt, drinking a PBR. Let’s get coffee (but not at Starbucks). THIS Missed Connections story is way funnier though… Keep reading »

    Take An Alternate Dating Route From Michelle Obama, Says Blogger

    Single women can learn a lot about dating from Michelle Obama, but one guy advises black women to take a different route than Michelle did, before another man passes them by. Most of his advice is logical. Some of it, I have to admit, I’m not ready to hear and probably never will be. Keep reading »

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