Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

MERRIme.com: Episode 10


Something tells me that episode 10 of “MERRIme.com” is going to hit a little close to home for our Simcha. While on an “elegant” date with Gary, Merri learns that she shares more in common with Barbra Streisand than she thought. Oh girrrrrl, I can’t wait to see what happens next… [MERRIme.com] Keep reading »

15 Things You Don’t Want To Know About Your Boyfriend’s Ex

Everyone carries with them a little piece of whoever they’ve loved before and nowhere is this more painfully apparent than when you have to deprogram your boyfriend’s expectation that all women are controlling shebeasts. In time, your guy will stop cowering in fear and asking you, “Is that OK? Are you sure?” every time he wants to hang out with his friends.

Fortunately, other ways his last girlfriend rubbed off on him will be much more benign. However, you might find that some of her beliefs—which are now his beliefs—are equally annoying. Sorry, dude, but there’s only room for two people in a relationship—and believe me, I am well aware she’s the reason you’d die on the barricades defending Ralph Nader as a stellar presidential candidate. After the jump, 15 things you really don’t need to know about his ex… Keep reading »

Decode My Dream: I’m Scared Of Falling!

I had a crazy dream last night. I was at the top of a construction crane — the ones they use for high rises. I should mention that I am an architect by profession. The crane was yellow and I was at the very top of it holding on like someone holds on to a ladder and I was looking down at everything below. The crane was moving in a circle, which really put me off balance. I wanted to get down, but I was paralyzed with fear of falling, as this thing spun around slowly in a circle over the buildings below. I looked down at the crane operator, and he smiled and waved. I said, “I’m sorry! I just climbed up here to have a look.” He gave me a thumb’s up. He wasn’t worried about me at all. He trusted that I knew what I was doing as he spun this thing around. I finally started to climb down like a ladder and I met two other guys. They were also hanging on ladder-style. At one point, an elevator the size of a small phone booth rushed by, and the other guy holding on moves his hands just as it passes so it doesn’t knock him down. And I’m thinking, “Man! These guys do this all day, and they don’t get tired and they have no safety harness…..that’s pretty amazing.” So I’m shooting the breeze with them, but I really want to talk about how I’d love to find a way to get that elevator to come by, so I can get in and get down. But there was a feeling of not letting go of the rungs, to grab the other rungs to get down and just being a bit frozen like a cat in a tree hanging on. Any thoughts? – Hanging On for Dear Life
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37 Things We’ll Teach Our Daughters About Men And Relationships

We’re not going to be like those moms that leave their children to figure out love, relationships, and the opposite sex on their own. We’re going to share our experiences, knowledge, and regrets, so our children can make informed choices. We already know what we’re going to teach our sons about women, but we’ve got completely different lessons for our daughters. Check out the list after the jump, and leave your lessons in the comments. Keep reading »

“Faking Your Own Kidnapping While Cheating” Is The New Infidelity

Apparently unaware of the many ways this could backfire terribly, Wikler Moran-Mora, pastor of the Seventh Day Adventist Church of Reform in Tampa, FL, faked his own kidnapping so he could two-time his wife. According to police, Moran-Mora texted his wife last Tuesday evening to say he had been kidnapped, but that she should not worry because he was working to get released. But when police tracked down Moran-Mora’s location via his cell phone, they discovered “negotiating with kidnappers” actually meant “boning another woman.” The pastor has been charged with filing a false police report—and coming up with a really bad alibi. [ABC Action News]

But Moran-Mora actually isn’t the first genius who got caught being a liar, liar, pants on fire. A trip down memory lane, after the jump: Keep reading »

365 Days In Paris: You Say Goodbye And I Say Bonjour

I can’t believe I leave for Paris tomorrow. I haven’t slept in two nights. I’m so wired. The past week has been a complete whirlwind. Between packing, last-minute doctor appointments, and taking care of arrival details, I’ve also been organizing tons of goodbyes. I’ve lived in New York City for most of my life (I was born here and grew up in Manhattan), so I didn’t think I’d feel sentimental about leaving this city that feels so normal. And normalness, as you may know, is my pet peeve these days. But all of a sudden, I do feel a pang of sadness, not so much for my surroundings, but for the people in them. My whole family is here, and we’re very close. My biggest fear is that I’ll come back from Paris a year later to find everyone’s changed. Who knows—by the time I return, Big Sister could have a baby, or my parents could suddenly be old. Keep reading »

Woman Marries Her Former Doorman, Childhood Crush

When I was a teen, I crushed on many, many older dudes. When I was 14, there was Rob, who worked at my local video store and was easily in his mid-20s; at 16, I had it bad for Tony, who was also in his mid-20s and wore Tevas (don’t judge!); and at 18, Jesse, who was six years older, but had known me since my boobs were just mosquito bites. I imagined that all of them would see past the age difference and fall madly in love with me too, but I didn’t really have a prayer of it actually happening. Maybe I should have been a little more ambitious — and had a little more faith — like Jessica Rosen, who, after 18 years, married her childhood crush, the cute doorman who began working at her Upper East Side apartment building when she was just 12 years old. The New York Times profiled the couple’s wedding this weekend. More romance, after the jump… Keep reading »

For The Week Of August 31-September 6, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Your patience is running thin. To remain intact, realize it’s time to make a compromise or a total cut in your emotional dealings. No, it won’t be as painless as you’d wish, but trust it won’t be as harsh as you imagine. Don’t be scared of making the change, because if you don’t make that move now, the universe will do it for you and it won’t be as compassionate.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Emotionally, you’ll be too drained to deal with the nitty-gritty of life. Then, to also have to deal with picking up the slack for someone else who you already know isn’t as capable as you, that’s just another drama. However, options always abound and unless you look to see the obvious, then you can consider this week a peek into your Christmas future.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your cynicism will get a shock to its system as all that bulls**t you’ve been through, which has caused a callus to form over your heart, will start to get diffused by a miraculous romantic concoction. You’ll be wondering if you’ve stepped into an alternate reality. Sure, it might last a day, or it might last forever. The point is to keep an open mind.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your optimism for love is like a bulletproof vest that protects you from shots of reality that would have others, who have no vision, running for the hills. This week, though, even you will take the grave wrong turn. But it will give you the clarity to see that someone isn’t truly all that.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Be careful of saying things you feel at the moment you feel them. Seems this week your emotions will be too unpredictable and changeable to make any promises, which can cause a major upset if you reveal too much. As it goes, you won’t be in a place to make any solid commitments — even though it might feel like it one minute, your mind will change in another.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

There will be subtle jabs at your confidence from an undermining source — someone who you thought had your back. While this duplicity will anger and upset you, don’t react suddenly. Be gracious about separating yourself from this bad energy, as it won’t be worth confronting. Rather, use this knowledge as power to beat them at their own game. Show them who’s the master.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ve seen all sides to the case in dispute. Now it’s time to call all your inner voices in for a huddle to get to the verdict. Dealing once and for all with your state of distress will set you into fight or flight mode. However, do realize that you must be prudent, as all sales are final with no exceptions made.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

If you find yourself living in your own version of Groundhog’s Day — where everything just repeats itself over and over again, and no matter how many different ways you approach the situation, you always wind up at the same place — don’t fret! A change is coming. It will pull all you’ve learned into perfect order, finally making sense of your madness, at least just a little.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Drama hits your friendship and this time it won’t be as easy to gloss over as in the past. It might be time that you have to let someone go or, at the least, take a time out. Whichever the case, emotions will be running high. The more you allow yourself to vent and f**k the pain away, the more you will ensure yourself of landing on your feet.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Being able to think for the greater good is vital for you right now, as it’ll win you the trust you seek. Otherwise, just going for instant gratification won’t win you any fans, or any true satisfaction. As it goes, right now is about laying down tracks that will make a solid foundation for your future. If you can’t see that straight, then realize you’re probably barking up the wrong tree.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Throw a party for yourself this week because there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. An epiphany is due to you! It will give you a sense of clarity you haven’t had in ages. However, you must be prepared for whatever lesson you will learn, as there is no stopping the caboose now, as now it’s all about fast-tracking.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

If you have someone to boogie down with, do so. This is a hot week to get your groove on and really work out the tension in the deepest parts of your psyche and body. Let loose and get as freaky as you’d like to, because the more you let your imagination run you wild, the more control you will feel you have over your fate. It’s sometimes about ending so you can begin again.

Five Acceptable First Date Lies

Meredith Goldstein, the relationship columnist over at the Boston Globe, recently received a letter from a guy (whom we shall refer to as “Guy”) caught up in a lie-induced love pickle. The lie (that Guy was a rock star who’d just signed a major record deal and was about to go on tour) was not, in fact, one that he made up. Rather, the acquaintance who introduced him to the girl/lie victim chose to stretch the truth (Guy is, in actuality, an independent singer/songwriter who would like to be a famous rock star). Read more

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  • Polite (and Effective) Ways To Silence A Chatty Cathy

    Thank goodness for caller ID. It’s saved me many a time from having to suffer through a three-hour conversation with my aunt Judy (or “Jawdy,” as I call her). Don’t get me wrong; my aunt is a sweetheart, but she does ramble on.

    We all have that person in our lives who just can’t seem to get the hint that it’s time to end a conversation. It can be really difficult to avoid feeling rude without spending your entire day chatting it up, but it is possible. With a little social finessing, you can say “hi” and “bye,” and be on your way. Read more Keep reading »

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