Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

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Do You Have A Litmus Test For The Dudes You Date?

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Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Grosses Me Out!”

My long-term boyfriend is a wonderful person. My only issue is that he’s a little lax about personal cleanliness. For example, last weekend he admitted that he’d had a nosebleed and cleared it out by blowing his nose in the shower. He told me this as an explanation for why I might see red flecks on the shower wall, as he’d cleaned up a bit while he was in the shower, but hadn’t gotten to everything. I got snippy/grossed out about why he’d told me this instead of just cleaning up the rest himself, but he just laughed it off before turning back to his video game and I calmed down after replacing my loofah, which had been in the line of fire. (This is gross, right? Or am I alone in this?) Another example is that I’ve been noticing for months that after he uses the bathroom at home, he barely runs the tap water — probably not long enough to use soap. I finally brought it up on our way to work today, and he explained that he only bothers with soap after #2 since he doesn’t “need” it after #1. I don’t want to start a fight over something trivial and sound like a nag, but I also don’t want to spend my days cleaning up his bodily fluids and cringing every time he touches our future children. How can I encourage him to up his standards a bit without sounding like his micromanaging ex? — Grossed Out

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6 Signs You Are Completely And Totally Over Him

This morning, as part of my pre-work routine, I logged onto Facebook and noticed it was my friend Joel’s birthday. As I was clicking over to his page to leave a “Happy birthday!” message on his wall, it suddenly occurred to me, Wait. That means it’s his birthday as well. My ex, that is. It had slipped my mind completely. It was the first year since we broke up that I had completely forgotten, where I didn’t have it on my mind for at least a few days, eager to use it as an excuse to email him — not because I wanted to get back together, mind you, but because I still was slightly invested in how he was doing and what he was up to. But this year, I forgot his birthday and wouldn’t have remembered if I hadn’t been reminded, inadvertently, by Facebook. As for using it as an excuse to email him? Meh. I have taxes to do.

It seems to me that forgetting an ex’s birthday is a pretty solid sign that you are over it. Over him, over the relationship, over the anger, over the heartbreak. Happy birthday, indeed! It took me a long while to get here, I’ll admit, but over the last few months I’ve noticed some other signs that I’ve officially closed the book on that relationship and how it ended. Keep reading »

Sweet Jealous Vs. Crazy Jealous: A Primer

As just about any episode of “Jersey Shore” can prove, there’s nothing more poisonous to a relationship than unbridled jealousy. (*cough* Ronnie and Sammi *cough*) Nothing is quite so off-putting as the insecurity that makes you not trust someone — or makes your partner think you can’t be trusted.

But let’s be honest: sometimes a little jealousy is appreciated. It shows he cares! I thought it was totally adorable last week when the dude I’m dating confessed to a bit of seeing green. We were at a party playing air hockey when a platonic male friend/former coworker of mine walked in. I stopped air hockey for a second and greeted my buddy warmly with a hug. Later on, my dude told me he felt a little twinge of jealousy watching me hug another guy (even though he knows we’re just friends). I thought, Aww, that’s silly — but cute that he cares! Even if jealousy isn’t always rational, it can be kind of sweet.

After the jump, a primer on “sweet jealous” versus “crazy jealous” — an important distinction: Keep reading »

Frisky Q&A: DeAnna Pappas On Finding Love, For Real This Time

DeAnna Pappas has had a long, strange ride on “The Bachelor.” First, she fell for Brad Womack, only for him to walk away without proposing to either woman at his final rose ceremony. Next, she came back as “The Bachelorette” and fell in love with quirky snowboarder Jesse Csincak, only to find out they weren’t compatible after all. Finally, she met the twin brother of a guy from Jillian Harris’ season of “The Bachelorette,” and fell in love—this time for real. And while she’s in the midst of planning her wedding, she had the surreal experience of sitting back on the couch and watching Brad get a second shot at “Bachelor”-dom.

On April 9th and 10th, DeAnna will be one of the guests of honor at the Reality Rocks Expo, a two-day conference celebrating the phenomenon of reality TV. To get ready, she sat down with The Frisky to talk about her upcoming wedding, what reality TV auditions are really like, and, of course, whether Brad and Emily will make it. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Offended Bridesmaid” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Offended Bridesmaid” whose sister, the bride, chastised her for not being skinny enough to fit into her bridesmaid dress. Offended Bridesmaid explained that she was worried she might have a thyroid problem, to which her sister responded: “I know your eating habits — you just eat too much.” After the jump, find out how the two sisters are doing today. Keep reading »

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