One of the things I love about being in a relationship is that my friend circle multiplies. But what happens to those newly formed friendships when the relationship ends? For example, recently two of my friends who were in a couple broke up and it’s been awkward ever since. Where we used to all go out together once or twice a month, now I have to split time between them, and I have the nagging feeling that I’m cheating when I hang out with one and not the other. After driving myself crazy for a few weeks (Do I talk about or avoid the subject? Partake in talk about the ex or awkwardly change the subject when it comes up?), I sought some advice on dealing with the joint-friends breakup — who keeps whom? And does it really have to come down to that? Keep reading »
This past week on VH1′s “Tool Academy,” the dudes were taught humility by admitting their deepest fears about their relationships and prancing around in tutus. However, their girlfriends have been trying to put them in their place since the season began by withholding sex. Granted, none of those bros deserve a piece of their girl’s promise land, since they’ve been complete bastards, but if these ladies are willing to stand by their jerky boyfriends while they man up, what’s the point of not having sexy times?! It simply turns sex into a control issue. However, these “Tool”-ettes are not alone in their belief that keeping their legs closed for business will bring about a positive change in their love life. The question is, does denying what you both need — sex — get you what you want — a good relationship?
Last night I had a drink (okay, we had three) with my ex-fiance’s mother — she had called me previous to her coming into town and has asked if I wanted to meet up. I hadn’t seen her since about three weeks before our initial break/split/whatever, when she had come to town with her husband to meet my mom and see one of the spots we were considering for our wedding. Throughout the break process she was very kind and as supportive as she could be, given that I was in the middle of a relationship crisis with her son. I think she was so kind and supportive to me because obviously she is just a kind and supportive person in general, but also because she had come to think of me as part of her family — that’s why I think our breakup was so hard on her. And on me. Keep reading »
Since my breakup, I’ve not only been navigating single life, but I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of relationship to have with my ex. Are we friends? Acquaintances? Simply exes? Potential friends with benefits? It’s hard to say, and I vacillate between these possibilities. I’m grateful that ours was a long distance relationship, so I don’t have to worry about running into him at a club or the grocery store. At the same time, I’ll be honest — I miss him. Our once-daily talks and emails have dwindled to once or twice a week … but that doesn’t mean I don’t think of him more often than that. Keep reading »
And I’m not just declaring it so because I’m no longer getting married and am bitter in some way. No, marriage is dying because the studies say so. According to new census figures analyzed by The New York Times, married couples, whose numbers have been declining for decades, have finally slipped into the minority. So while it may seem like you can’t find any single friends to go bar crawling with, chances are a small majority of all those couples you know aren’t married and probably won’t be in the future. This makes me positively stoked — even before I was someone’s fiancee, I was never super rah-rah marriage. Maybe it’s because my parents are divorced or I was still still reeling from Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s split, but marriage never seemed like the end goal of a relationship for me. I always saw children as being the big payoff of monogamy, not a ring or a wedding. And even after I got engaged — and was truly happy about it — I believed in marrying that man, not marriage in general. So now that I’m not marrying that man (for whom, I found out, children were not the big payoff), I’m back to thinking that marriage is nice for some people, but not the end all, be all for happy coupling. Keep reading »
Last month, I showed up at a party that my hubby, Andy, and I had been invited to, and I was greeted with silence. Now, I know I’m not that unpopular, so something had to be wrong. As I shrugged off my coat and people got back to mingling, my friend approached with a vodka tonic in hand. Passing it to me and trying to sound casual, she said, “So…where’s Andy tonight?” And then, in a stage whisper, “Is anything wrong?” Keep reading »
I met Mr. Life of the Party at a bar. I’d spotted him from across the room because he was funnier, taller, and cuter than everyone else. I marched over and told him as much. We talked for what seemed like hours, and before the night was over, he got a kiss and my number.
He called the next day, and we bantered wittily. Finally, he invited me to dinner that evening at his “favorite restaurant.” He gave me the address and asked me to meet him there.
I primped before heading to the designated location … only to learn the “restaurant” was a bar that served buffalo wings and the occasional nacho. Maybe he was trying to see if I was high-maintenance? Keep reading »
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Time to take a giant step back from your life and look at the whole picture, rather than muddle your mind into the details and ignore the priorities that should matter. Something is amiss and you know it. This is your time to break in better habits, draw new boundaries and see that immediate improvements are possible if you just say it’s so.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
The kinkiness coming into your love life is going to make you so hot, it’ll feel as if your having a religious experience. Whatever the challenge, don’t say no—no matter how initially intimidated you are. To say the least, there are some banging good times for you this week and as long as you keep an open mind, fate won’t fail you.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
This is your time for a new beginning, literally or metaphorically. If you have no plans to move or make a drastic change in your foundations, think about it. The past has had its day with you and the quicker you turn the page and move ahead, the faster it’ll be that destiny plays back and starts giving you more of what you wish.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
It’s not that your honey doesn’t want to give you what you want, it’s that he doesn’t know what you want. Seeing that you’re flying about your own universe at a thousand miles a minute, it can be difficult for the average guy to decipher what’s going on. This week, do plan to sit still and do plan to get in some quality bonding time, it’ll do wonders for making your sweetie smarter.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Striving for security in the normal route you usually go is no longer going to work, as its time for you to step it up and be a little more daring, a little more risqué and a little more devilish in your dealings with others, as just relying on being responsive isn’t going to get you much farther or any happier and if definitely won’t resuscitate your sex life.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
If your love life has been slumping, making you’re feeling as if you should just crawl under a rock, this is going to be one of those weeks you’ll love, as something magical is set to happen, stirring up the pot to bring new life to your libido. To get yourself in order, pimp, preen and pamper yourself into perfection, as you will need to be ready for your moment in the spotlight.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You’re going to have to put your selfishness aside, as this is the time your boo is going to be extra needy and you’ll have to play the nursemaid. On some level it’ll frustrate you, but on another it’ll turn you on, as you’ll see a more vulnerable side that you never knew existed. So, yes, while the week starts out aggravatingly, it’ll end up quite nicely with much more power in your hands.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
It’s all about who you know, and if you call around to those contacts, you’ll find the right piece to the puzzle that’ll get you closer to the ideal place in life that you dream of. This could mean meeting someone special, having a boost in your social status or career. Wherever the connection happens, trust your life is about to get way hotter.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Your reputation is going to be under fire, as secrets of yours get leaked out — but fear not, because karma will have your back and support will be coming from surprising places, turning the situation around to put you on top. Seems dirty scandalous stories will have a way of boosting your rep into delicious infamy.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
All the crap you’ve suffered through and the disturbing love affairs you’ve hid in shame will all come converging into a explosive epiphany this week. However, the way you incite this eruption could happen rather bizarrely, but whatever the case, all the pain and sorrow you’ve endured will make sense and this week will make you feel as if where you are is exactly where you should be.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You’ll be feeling extra horny this week, but don’t be a freak about it. If you want it, you can have it — but you’re going to have to put away your shyness routine and pull out those lethal doses of charm to make your point. You know it, don’t sit around waiting for miracles to happen, take the power into your own hands and then into the sweetest parts of you.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
A major break through in your relationship or the way you have relationships is going to happen and it’ll put your mind in a tizzy, as you’ll see things are no longer the way they use to be and it’ll mean stepping up your game, as the level of skill you are playing against or wanting to play against is higher and no longer are those silly little tricks going to win your any favors.
There are a few ways to perform a breath check in public: 1) Ask a friend, 2) Cup your hand around your mouth to catch your breath and inhale at the same time, 3) Lick your hand and wait for the saliva to dry and then smell it, or 4) try to taste your mouth. Since only one of these techniques is sure to give you an accurate result, your best breath indicator come Valentine’s Day is the Kiss-O-Meter, a gadget similar to a breathalyzer, but it checks your breath’s smell instead of its booze content. Once you’ve breathed into the device, it will respond with Kiss Me, Possible, Maybe, Risky and Never. Now, you can eliminate the guess work and just lean in for a special kiss or full-on make out session. Keep reading »