Category Archives: Relationships

Sassy sophisticated relationship advice for real women everywhere: dating advice, love advice, and more!

Girl Talk: We Can’t Be Friends

There’s this (amazing) song on the soundtrack to the (terrible) movie “The Romantics” called “We Can’t Be Friends” by Lenore Scafaria. My favorite lyrics go:

“I want to wear a skirt, I want to make mistakes,
I want to kill you first and then take your name,
I want to tear you apart, I want to make your bed,
I wanna break your heart, I want to break your head,
I guess this means we can’t be friends.”

In the days, weeks and months following a big breakup, I listened to this song on repeat. Every word of it spoke to me (especially the part about breaking his head). We’d said to each other on our first date, moony-eyed, that even if this didn’t grow into anything, we should still be friends.

Two years later, it couldn’t be more obvious that we could not be friends. My friends don’t sneak around behind my back. My friends don’t email me lists of the things they don’t like about me. My friends don’t threaten to throw out my stuff. There’s a hell of a lot of things my ex-boyfriend did that I wouldn’t stand for if one of my girl or guy friends were to do them. Why should I make concessions for acting like a d**k just because we had been in a romantic relationship together? What would that prove?

This cropped up again recently when a guy I’d been going on dates with for about a month ended it with me. Hormones, as I’ll call him, said he didn’t have strong enough romantic feelings or see long-term potential for us. Yadda yadda yadda. That is fine. I understand. I appreciate that he was honest about it. But then Hormones told me that he hoped we could be friends. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Mother Thinks I’m Too Young For A Meaningful Relationship”

I am 23 and halfway through my master’s program. I have been dating my boyfriend, whom I met my senior year in college, for the last year and a half. It has not been easy due to our constantly changing life situations and the fact that we are long distance right now, but we make it work and I see myself with him for the foreseeable future. My mother, however, is very pessimistic about my relationships. Ever since I started dating, she has made me feel like my relationships aren’t “real” because I’m so young. She will say things like, “Well, I don’t think college relationships are meant to work out,” and once when I was going through a rough patch with my guy she encouraged me to go out and meet other guys — not to cheat on him, but to hang out with other guys “as friends” to see if there was any potential. Recently, I mentioned the possibility that he might have to move to California (we live in New York) and she said “Well, it’s only a year, maybe your paths will lead back to one another someday.” She’s done this with every guy I’ve ever dated whether she liked them or not. Is she right? Am I incapable of forging a meaningful, long-lasting relationship at 23? It’s not like I’m marrying the guy. How do I tell her to stop minimizing my relationships? — Can’t Stand Up to Mom

Keep reading »

Let’s Play Bad Date Bingo!

As the saying goes, when life hands you lemons, make vodka lemonade. Likewise, when life hands you a bad date, play Shmitten Kitten’s Bad Date Bingo “because, hey, even if you weren’t able to score on your date, you could still be a winner.” [Shmitten Kitten] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How I Beat My Past Self At Its Own Crappy Dating Game

Guys, I went on a date this weekend. Thrilling, right? And on that date, I met a guy. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Keep reading »

Girl On Girl: Things To Know About Having A Gay Wedding

Congratulations New York! You’re now the newest state to celebrate marriage equality. And since studies show lesbians are the bulk of the married gay population, there’s a lot of things you’ll want to know before your big day. I got married in May, so I’m going to share a few of my own personal stories. Keep reading »

For The Week Of July 11-17, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Forget the formalities and just let it all hang out. Besides, what is the point of living out an act that lacks real heart, especially when it comes to dealing with matters of love? Time to get real and make it work on terms that can actually happen. Otherwise, pretending you like things you don’t or are okay with things you’re not will obviously end poorly.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

If you have been seeking approval from one of your honey’s relatives or having your family accept the dude you have on a hook, then hooray for this week! Yes, go out and buy that three-tier cake, because you will be wanting to get your party on, as miracles regarding family will take place, making you finally get what the fuss is all about.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Keep the valium close by, because this is the week when trying to get that extra bit of calm will be a bit harder to come by, especially when various confessions get spewed and set your brain on fire. Not that all that you learn will be horrid, but just not expected and might change how you view another. However, the aggravating part is you kind of saw it coming.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Keeping up with the Joneses is boring and anyone trying to go head-to-head with you on such base circumstances will sadly be mistaken, as you don’t play those games and can demolish them in minutes. However, another ego battle under your belt is never a bad thing, so if you like to be mildly entertained, be ready to squelch the competition hard this week.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Set the record straight. If your relationship is careening out of control and your baby is being all sorts of whack, then you need to slam on those brakes to get back on course. Now is the time to get clear with your goals, near and far, as your other is no mind reader and as of late, you’ve been one weird cookie to follow.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Feel free to lock the doors, close the curtains and take time out from the world — or better yet, take a trip out of town and get back to the core of who you are, without distractions. As it goes, you are in major need of clarity now, but if you stay among the static, you won’t be receiving any of the messages you can learn.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

There will be a certain protocol among “friends” that is expected of you, so don’t overstep boundaries. If there is something you want from another now, it’ll mean having tact and perhaps even a little ass kissing. While that is never good news, it’s all part of the game. However, if this ultimately means a win, then know it’s a small price to pay.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

What you think is yours and what another wants to give won’t sync up. Yes, it’ll be a time for having the old versus new be among the obstacles you face now. While it’ll require major uphill climbing, know that if you have a goal in mind, it won’t be an issue. However, if you don’t stop and reconfigure your plan, you will be the last one to pass that finish line.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Whoever said love was easy certainly wasn’t dating the people you date. You know it, this week is when your idealism can come crashing down and have you seeing your situation differently. You may end up re-estimating the potential of the one you’re with and the relationship you are striving for…. Whatever, at the very least you can always keep them as your #1 booty call.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

If you want to get anything done, you’re going to have to do it yourself — even if this means getting off in a manner that makes your brain fry. Yes, darling, your needs will be getting way more intense and to satisfy their urges, it may take going out of your comfort zone in a bigger way to reach that itch that is dying to be scratched.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You just have to roll with the punches when it comes to your emotions, as this week you will hit a crossroads and things might not be as in sync as you’d like. Your heart may be somewhere, with your mind wandering elsewhere — and as you proceed ahead, all you want to do is bad. Crazy consequences are around every corner, so tread lightly.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Your day-to-day life will not be as easygoing as you’d want, because agendas will get crossed and you might have to be the one that bites it and concedes to others’ plans. If you do, take one for the team and make a mental note of the graciousness you have shown. As it goes, not everyone around you is such a team player, so best to keep your antennae up now.

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