• Relationships

Girl Talk: Is It Bad To Live Together Before Marriage?

It’s undeniable that marriage and relationships in general look nothing like they did 40 years ago. What’s happened? Women’s lib, skyrocketing divorce rates, the death of the nuclear family — and that’s just for starters. The whole game has changed. Sometimes I think that each generation exhibits a reactionary trend to their predecessors. I am part of the “divorced parents” era. Although my parents are still married, about 60 percent of all people I meet my age come from broken homes. While this phenomenon didn’t necessarily make us “anti-marriage,” it has certainly made us “marriage cautious” or “marriage disillusioned.” As a modern woman I know the statistics – if I ever do tie the knot, I know it ain’t gonna be all sunshine and roses. And that’s why I plan to be as sure as I can possibly, possibly be. Before I exchange any vows, I’ve made a vow to myself: I MUST live with someone before I marry him. I’m not alone in this thinking. About 70 percent of couples are cohabitating before marriage these days. Keep reading »

For The Week Of July 27-August 2, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Gaining dominance is a never-ending battle you face, because as you see it, no one is ever going to be as smart as you — and if anyone tries to prove differently, they are going to have to prepare to conquer a winnable war. Of course, if you’re with the right person, he’ll be smart enough to let you have your illusions and use your tension for the bedroom. Enough said.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Nurturing isn’t a bad thing and accepting it doesn’t make you any less of a person. You would like to think you can rule your problems single-handedly or at least appear to — why? Plus, remember you are the sign of partnership. Things work better in twos for you. So, as this week’s climate gets turbulent, don’t be shy about taking that hand that is reaching out to you.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your mushy insides get the better of you, as that someone comes crawling back on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness. Despite the fact that you’ll be thinking “I told you so!” and will want to make him crawl through hell for your affections, don’t let your cruelness get the better of you. Torture just a little. Then let him show you their penance where it’ll really matter.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’ve never been one to hold back your opinions — don’t stop now. Sure, you won’t be seeing eye-to-eye with your honey on several controversial topics and it’ll make you wonder about the stick up his butt. However, this sparring works out beautifully in breaking each other down to bite-size morsels that’ll taste delicious at the end of the day.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Let your boo do all the talking this week, as you’ll find many sweet secrets and surprises that’ll turn up the heat for you in a major way. Seems that despite that calm demeanor and that way he has about letting you always get your way doesn’t make him a chump, but a true gentleman,. You’ll find out there is a method behind his madness.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Stay busy this week. Otherwise, if you give yourself too much time — taking every piece of information you hear and analyzing it to its worst-case scenario –it’ll f-up your stride in your current relationship. This week, trust that what you hear is what you get and trying to make it otherwise will truly be all in your head. Don’t be your own worst enemy.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Things will be coming out of your mouth faster than you will be able to think. This will mean offending others and perhaps charming a few with the unmitigated emotions that spill from you like a faucet with poetry. No matter, there is nothing you can do about it and no reason to apologize for the truth. In fact, let this week be a lesson in how life can really be.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Time to draw some new boundaries and accept you are territorial. Although there are plenty of times you feel generous and open, this won’t be one of them. In fact, this may even be the time you want to tally up the “What have you done for me lately?” scoreboard and realize that you have been getting the short end of the stick for way too long now.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your mind will be split, as your emotions and your logic run off in two different directions with seemingly no way of being reconciled. This will mean something or someone will be pissing you off, but intriguing you all the while. Oh yeah, love can be a total bitch. Say sayonara to any control this week, as it won’t be happening.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Time to put your money where you mouth is concerning how committed you are to your emotions. When it comes down to it, sitting around waiting for the world to come to you isn’t going to happen and you’ll have to pick up the slack by breaking out of your comfort zone psychologically and monetarily. Trust, though: goods things will happen when you stop making excuses.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

New ideas will pop into your head like brilliant flashes of genius — don’t be scared to share those visions. There will be more than a few ideas that’ll work out beautifully and inspire teamwork, which, in turn, will work nicely in laying down emotional groundwork that will feel solid enough for you to want to rest your head on.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Don’t let paranoia ruin your buzz. While you will be feeling some sketchy thoughts on an intuitive level, nothing is as bad as you want to envision. Best to nip everything in the bud by confronting and voicing your fears as they happen. Chances are those little neuroses can be just the gateway to open more love and light into your world.

A NY Times Wedding Announcement That Hits Close To Home

A little shout-out is in order to our own Wendy Atterberry, who married Andrew Condell on Friday. The twosome got an announcement written up in The New York Times today (which, um, also resulted in The Frisky’s first mention in the newspaper) and Times readers got a little insight into their love story. Of course, Frisky readers know it well. Wendy lived in Chicago, but a friend set her up on a date with a guy who lived in NYC. Things went so well that they started a long-distance relationship. Eventually, Wendy moved to NYC to be with Andrew, but planned on getting her own apartment. Instead … “We were so happy together, I never left.” They got engaged in February, and despite ominous weather reports and a last-minute flu, their wedding occurred under clear skies and without a hitch. Mazel Tov! [NY Times] Keep reading »

Nine Things You Should Figure Out Before Moving in Together

So, that’s it. You’ve decided to move in together. You’re excited, in love, and ready to go for it. People are warning you that it’s a big deal, but you are different and so is your relationship. Is it such a big deal, though? Yes. After all, it’s like marriage without the standup mixer and the tax break. Keep reading »

Real Dating Advice For The Technological Age

Yesterday, I did an interview with CNN Live about Leonora Epstein’s article, “Automatic Online Dating Dealbreakers.” (You can watch it after the jump, if you’re so inclined, but please know the style department will be doing more about my hideous under-eye circles and lighting the next time around.) That same day, Julia Allison, blogging “sexpert,” was on MTV’s “It’s On With Alexa Chung” discussing the similar, but broader topic of dating in the realm of new media – texting, Facebook, online dating, etc. You can watch the segment above. She had five tips prepared for Alexa and then provided two others prompted by viewer questions. Some of her tips I could get behind, while the others kind of blew my mind. I’ll give it to you straight, after the jump… Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Business In The Front, Party In The Back

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart couldn’t hide their nerd love at a ComicCon conference for “Twilight: New Moon.” Girl, if he still wants to bone you, despite the mullet, you know it’s L-O-V-E. [San Diego, 7/24/09] Keep reading »

My Husband Wanted A Big Wedding—So He Planned It

My husband and I are married not because I said, “I do,” but because he said, “I’ll do it.”
Keep reading »

MERRIme.com: Episode 1

Welcome to the first episode of “MERRIme.com,” a new web comedy starring Kaily Smith, about trust fund baby Merrideth Weisman’s headfirst plunge into the deep end of the online dating pool. In Episode 1, Mr. Weisman threatens to cut Merri off. Her friends, MAC and Jess, try to console her and themselves. Merri goes on her first online date, and to her surprise, DoogieDoc20 is not who she expected. [MERRIme.com] Keep reading »

It’s Time To Stop Sleeping With A Teddy Bear

Dear Gregory,

I think we should stop sleeping together.

This is hard for me, because we’ve known each other forever. I want you to know how special your relationship has been to me: going to London and Prague together, moving into our first apartment, nursing me through that awful sinus infection. There will always be a soft spot for you in my heart. But I’m moving in with my boyfriend at the end of the month and there isn’t room for you in my life anymore.

I’m sorry, Gregory, but I’ve been an adult woman for a while now and it’s time I stopped sleeping with a teddy bear. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: It’s Time For A Dating Attitude Adjustment

Few things are more entertaining than bad date stories. Who wants to hear about hearts and flowers when flatulence and festering sores are so much more fun? Which is why when my friend Sal wanted to share what she assured me were horror stories about her recent attempts at online dating, I was ecstatic – joke material!

As I slid onto the bar stool next to her, I noticed she looked a little down. I immediately felt guilty about my initial excitement. Hmm. “What happened?” I asked.

“Nothing really,” she shrugged. It seems she’d met up with two different men and both were just meh. “I had nothing in common with either,” she complained.

“And?” I inquired.

She shot me a look. “And what?” she answered. “They were both really boring.”
Keep reading »

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