Bars exist to create a world of potential. Yet often, they are self-defeating because it’s not all that easy to meet new people in them, especially if you’re hopping with a pack of wingwomen (read: competition, intimidation).
A notion previously reserved for alcoholics, going to a bar alone can be about creating independence as well as a tactic for meeting strangers. Or, okay, maybe you just really want a drink and don’t want to look like a loser doing it. Keep reading »
Reader Natalie took these on Windmill Lane near her home in Dublin, Ireland. “Graffiti artists regularly tag this street and the guardai (police) have given up on policing the vandalism,” she wrote us. “It began as a homage to the band U2 who recorded their first albums in a recording studio on this street. Now, many of the U2 references are gone and the walls of this alley are tagged with any number of things. Considering the usually garish and gang related things that end up on these walls, these two pictures were pretty sweet.”
Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to email@example.com. Keep reading »
I have been truly lucky in my life in terms of the quality of female friendships I have experienced. As much as I love being in a romantic relationship with a man, the love in a girl friendship is somehow much sweeter. I tenderly look back at the hours on the phone every night giggling and gossiping over a shared secret. I remember long summer evenings at summer camp on the screened-in porch playing jacks. I can’t look at a piece of chocolate and not think back to the nights of gorging on Reese’s Pieces and watching all six hours of the BBC’s “Pride and Prejudice”… on VHS. Due to many circumstances, best girl friends have wandered in and out of my life for years. I moved, they moved, the event which brought us together ended — there are a myriad of reasons why a girl friendship can die a natural death. It is always a sad event, but when distance or time is the major culprit, these girl friendships often dissolve as innocently and seamlessly as they began. Keep reading »
It’s been awhile since I read “Dating Confessions,” Nerve‘s community blog where readers confess their darkest dating and relationship-related secrets, but after someone posted a particularly interesting one on Current yesterday, I had to go check out what else I’ve been missing. Like community confessional blogs before it, “Dating Confessions” is at once seedy, sad, funny, hopeful, and heartbreaking — kind of like its topic, I guess. After the jump, the confession that got me reading again, plus 10 others that made me glad I’ve found a smooth spot on the rocky seas of romance.
Keep reading »
If you are single and out in the dating trenches, then you know how absurd and post-modern the whole fiasco has become with the invention of the internet. Wanna find love? Head to Match.com. Wanna tell that special someone how you feel? Send them a Gchat. When I go out with a new guy, I find myself asking ridiculous questions like, “How’s our email chemistry?” or “Can I date him if he doesn’t text?” I barely know how to react anymore when a dude calls me on the phone, so I seriously think my head might explode if I ever received a hand-written letter. I was totally born in the wrong century. I want a long courtship complete with calligraphied love notes, white gloves, red roses, and a carriage ride…you know, Jane Austen style. I know, I’ll keep dreaming. This is why I’m kind of obsessed with a new blog, Advertising for Love, started by Rutgers student Pam Epstein, while working on a dissertation about the transformation of love and marriage in nineteenth century America. Pam found a bunch of personal ads from that time period and was so charmed by them that she felt the need to share. Thank you, Pam. Now I can really see if dating was better in the 1800s. Here are some of my favorite selections. [Advertising for Love] Keep reading »
I’m a 21-year-old Virgo and this guy I’ve been seeing is a 21-year-old Gemini. Things have been good off and on since last November. We haven’t been exclusively dating because he wants to take things slowly and he just got out of an off/on again relationship with another Virgo. He warned me that he is pretty much a typical Gemini. We get along great and we communicate very well… when we want to. We both have a tendency to hide things, but these days things have been really open between the two of us. He and I broke up twice in the first three months of dating. (I dumped him the second time because he wanted to date other people.) Keep reading »
There’s this scene in “He’s Just Not That Into You” — the point to which most Tough Love posts will eventually return — when Justin Long tells Ginnifer Goodwin that she’s special, she’s an exception to the rule. It’s all very sweet and there’s crying and hugging and a bit of kissing and that all distracts you for a moment from the fact that it’s utter bulls**t.
You see, you are not special and rule-defying, unique in your ability to change someone chronically terrible into a nice, devoted guy. This is not to say that you aren’t special in other ways, merely that the expectation that you’d be able to subvert ages-old male behavioral patterns is quite a lot to ask of yourself. When you read it, this should seem fairly obvious. And yet I continue to field weepy calls and enraged emails from a whole slew of women absolutely shocked that their personal awesomeness wasn’t enough to change a guy completely.
Most mystifying of all are the girls who poach their boyfriends from other women and are then shocked when said guy goes on to cheat on them with someone else. Did you really not see this coming? Keep reading »
Yesterday, my friend George* told me about an argument he had with his best friend Elliott. Elliott recently uploaded photos of his killer abs to a social networking site, so he was contacted by several women trying to hookup with him. And the other night, he was eager to meet one of these women. The only problem is he lives with the mother of his son, even though they’re not together, so he couldn’t bring the woman home. This is where George enters the picture. Elliott, who is in his 30s, not only expected George to turn his living room into a hot-sheet motel for the night, but also to pick him and the woman up, separately, because Elliott doesn’t drive. George didn’t give in to his demands. Keep reading »
I love my best friend, I love my boyfriend. These two people who hold such special places in my heart should love each other like I love them. In theory, if I have enough in common with both of them to have such a strong bond with each, shouldn’t the two of them also have the potential to form a real relationship with each other? It should be an all out love fest whenever the three of us get together…except it’s not. ‘Tis sad but true, my best friend and boyfriend do not quite get along. If I am honest with myself, I could have easily foreseen this. All they have in common with each other is me. Keep reading »
A guy friend told me last month that despite his ability to meet women when he’s out, he has several online dating profiles. He, like some of my other friends, suggested I set up an account on Match.com or its equivalent now that I’ve reentered the dating scene after several years.
When I gave him the same line I’d given other people—“I don’t think I need to”—he said, quite matter-of-factly, “Everybody needs to. It’s just how things are going to be now.” Keep reading »